Do you ever find yourself thinking that someone is being super rude, but then realize no one else really seems all that bothered?
If so, perhaps you’ve discovered something that your personality type considers rude but that other types tend to overlook, or at least judge less harshly.
Of course, there are some behaviors that pretty much everyone agrees are rude, such as interrupting someone when they’re speaking. And there are also things which irritate us because of individual experiences and preferences more than because of our personality type. With that said, though, certain rude behaviors do seem to irritate some personalities more than others.
ENFJ – Not Believing Them
ENFJs are usually laid-back people who like to make sure everyone’s enjoying themselves. They’ll let some behaviors other types consider rude slide right off them just to keep the peace. But if they make a serious or important statement and someone doesn’t believe them, that’s something they consider rude. Communication is important, and dismissing an ENFJ is very likely to damage your connection with them.
ENTJ – Laziness and Procrastination
For many personality types, someone who is lazy and/or procrastination is just a minor irritation. If someone’s laziness and procrastination affect an ENTJ directly, though, they’re likely to classify it as highly offensive. If someone is being lazy in a way that gets in the way of efficiency, they see it as both disrespectful and very annoying.
INFJ – Talking Over Others
INFJs don’t like confrontation and many of them will put up with a lot of irritating behavior from someone else before they’ll risk addressing it. But if someone is being rude to other people by talking over them, that’s sure to irritate an INFJ. We do not like to see anyone ignored or silenced, and there’s a good chance we’ll call someone out on that type of rude behavior.
Read This Next: 10 Things That Terrify INFJs
INTJ – Sharing an Incorrect “Fact”
For many INTJs, sharing something untrue as if it’s a fact isn’t just an irritating mistake; it can actually be considered rude. It’s not that they don’t recognize that people can make honest mistakes. Rather, this comes from the idea that if someone has the means to check their information and doesn’t bother, then that means they don’t respect their audience and (perhaps worse) they don’t respect facts, logic, and truth.
Read This Next: 10 Things That Terrify INTJs
ENFP – Trying to Control Their Behavior
ENFPs tend to be fun-loving people who get along well with others. If someone tries to put limits on them or control their behavior, though, they’re going to think that person is being incredibly rude. The idea of controlling other people just seems crazy to them, and they may act shocked or irritated (or perhaps both in equal measure) when confronted with this type of behavior.
Read This Next: 10 Things That Terrify ENFPs
ENTP – Refusing to Argue Well
Some types see starting arguments as rude, but for ENTPs it can be ruder when someone refuses to argue. And that’s especially true if they refuse to argue in a way that makes sense. Someone who avoids good debate, or someone who insists on debating without having any facts or logical reasoning to back up their points, is heading into territory that an ENTP could consider rude.
INFP – Speaking Badly of Others
Most people consider it rude to say nasty things about someone behind their back. For INFPs, though, this sort of behavior has an extra layer of rudeness. It’s not just nasty; it’s also insincere because someone is putting on one face in front of the person and then a different face when they’re not there. The combination of phoniness and unkindness is something INFPs find particularly detestable.
Read This Next: 10 Things That Terrify INFPs
INTP – Interrupting Their Personal Time
Most people don’t much care for being interrupted when they’re doing something, but it can be particularly irritating for INTPs. There’s a lot going on in their heads and, in many cases, someone who interrupts them is disrupting a whole lot more than they realize. People who don’t respect an INTP’s personal space and push their opinions in when they’re not wanted are near the top of an INTP’s scale of rudeness.
Read This Next: 10 Things That Terrify INTPs
ESFJ – Undervaluing Their Communication
ESFJs are a personality type that thrives on connections with other people. If someone doesn’t value their attempts to communicate, it can seem very rude to the ESFJ. This may be especially true if the ESFJ thinks that communication with this person is really important, but then the other person doesn’t seem to make any effort to improve how they talk with each other.
ESTJ – Showing Up Late
Some people are chronically late, and some personalities don’t seem to mind all that much. Not ESTJs. People showing up late for something that the ESTJ plans to start on time are seen as incredibly rude. Their lateness throws-off other people’s plans and disrupts the efficiency that ESTJs place such a high value on. An ESTJ can understand that sometimes life happens, but someone who constantly shows up late and doesn’t care how that affects others is a person they will consider rude.
ISFJ – Acting Poorly in Front of Kids
ISFJs are a type that’s deeply invested in keeping social systems running smoothly. That necessarily includes making sure society is a safe and supportive place for kids to grow up in. If someone is setting a bad example for children, then there’s a very good chance an ISFJ is going to think it’s a particularly offensive thing to do. (I actually know one ISFJ who was threatened with physical violence and, rather than being alarmed by the threat, he was most upset that the person who threatened him would talk that way in front of their child.)
ISTJ – Not Taking Opportunities Seriously
If an ISTJ sees someone being given an opportunity and then that person doesn’t take the opportunity seriously, there’s a very good chance the ISTJ will think that is super rude. After all, if someone is going to the trouble of helping a person achieve something, the one being helped has a social obligation to step up and do their part to make the most of this opportunity.
ESFP – Monopolizing Someone’s Time
It’s typically considered rude to corner someone and take up all their time talking about something that matters only to you. If someone does that to an ESFP, especially if there’s something else they’d rather be doing, they’re probably going to think the other person is being very rude. ESFPs don’t like being controlled or pinned down to talk about boring things.
ESTP – Pushing Drama on Others
ESTPs can be the sort of people that let rudeness slide right off them. But there are things that irritate them, and one of those is if someone insists on pushing their own drama onto other people. It’s rude for someone to expect others to deal with loads of emotional drama that shouldn’t directly involve them, and pushing personal drama onto other people is the sort of thing that many ESTPs find particularly irritating.
ISFP – Putting People in Boxes
ISFPs place a high value on authenticity, and they don’t like it when other people try to put them (or anyone else) in boxes. They consider it particularly rude if the boxes lead to making judgments about others. How can you possibly judge individuals based on sweeping generalizations about the boxes you’ve shoved them into?
ISTP – Bossiness or Pushy Behavior
Most ISTPs aren’t big fans of authority. It is sure to irritate ISTPs when people wield their authority in a bossy, overbearing way or (perhaps worse) when someone who doesn’t have any authority acts as if they do. ISTPs are typically independent people and they consider it very rude for someone to try and boss them around.
What are your pet-peeves surrounding other people’s rude behavior? Do you agree with the one listed for your personality type? Share your thoughts in the comments!
Find out more about your personality type in our eBooks, Discovering You: Unlocking the Power of Personality Type, The INFJ – Understanding the Mystic, The INFP – Understanding the Dreamer, and The INTJ – Understanding the Strategist.
About the Author:
Marissa Baker is the author of The INFJ Handbook (available in the Amazon Kindle Store). You can find her online at LikeAnAnchor.com where she blogs about personal growth and development from a Christian perspective.