Want to know what a highly exaggerated version of your personality type would look like as a roommate? Look no further! We’ve got you covered.
DISCLAIMER: This article is meant to be silly and make fun of stereotypes of type rather than be taken seriously!
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Estimated reading time: 9 minutes
They’re always restless and excited by some new theory or possibility, so they stay up late. They come home late. They leave 57 tabs open on the computer, 20 post-its on the refrigerator, and they’re so lost in mental tangents that they seem to have completely forgotten the fact that they do, indeed, have a body. A body that wears shoes. No matter how many times you remind them to put the shoes in the shoe rack, you’ll trip over find them in random, inconvenient places as you’re walking through your apartment.
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Feel like arguing about….well…literally everything? If not, then don’t room with an ENTP. They have no respect for other people’s routines. You have special coasters for everyone to use at the coffee table? Don’t expect them to prioritize this. You go to bed squarely at 9 PM every night? Don’t be surprised if the ENTP is getting into a loud debate about multiverses with his friends, shouting “It’s like you’ve never even considered eternal inflation! Come on!” If you have any need for consistency, tranquility, and predictability, don’t room with an ENTP.
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These types keep their sensitive, complicated feelings close to the chest. Want to deal with conflict directly? How about no. You’ll regularly find yourself wandering into the living room wondering why songs like “Everybody Hurts” or “My Immortal” are blaring loudly. They’ll glance up at you from their pile of novels with an anguished expression that leaves you feeling horribly guilty without knowing what you did wrong.
On a separate note, I hope you really love animals. Especially the grouchy, slightly scary looking ones that have led troubled lives. If you don’t want a three-legged pygmy goat in the backyard or a hairless, one-eyed cat pawing you while you try to watch television, stay away from rooming with this type.
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Want to always be guessing at whether or not your roommate is sincere or sarcastic? No? Then don’t room with an INTP. These types can argue anything from the existence of extraterrestrial life to the social responsibility of wearing the same outfit three days in a row. They also are major procrastinators. Want them to take out the trash or do the dishes? They’ll get around to it, but first they need to find out if free will is just an illusion.
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If you want a quiet, peaceful existence then don’t room with an ENFJ. You’ll wake up at midnight to hear them shouting inspirational quotes to their friends. There will be weeping, hugging, and “Amens!” If you’ve ever wanted to know what it’s like to live with Oprah Winfrey and two dozen of her followers then you might find living with an ENFJ fascinating. For a week. And then you’ll find yourself missing the days before your roommate, when you could be sad in peace without someone gently urging you to “unpack your feelings” with them. Yes, they offer you warm cookies, but don’t give in. Get away while you can.
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Want someone to constantly tell you the “best” way to do everything? From organizing the refrigerator to writing your resume, ENTJs know how to do it better than you. And if you’re looking for someone who will listen to you vent after a rough day at work, don’t even think of confiding in an ENTJ. They’ll look at you like you’re speaking a foreign language and ask, “You think complaining is going to help…..why?” in the most patronizing tone you’ve ever heard.
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Do you like going to therapy? If so, how would you like to stay in the therapist’s office 24 hours a day? When your INFJ roommate isn’t counseling you about the demons from your past, they’ll be reading books about psychology, philosophy, and other woo-woo subjects like Myers-Briggs or the Enneagram. And it’s not enough that they’re interested in those bizarre subjects, they must also force you to take questionnaires as well. “Oooh you’re a Nine! That explains everything!” they’ll gasp with hungry, wild eyes. Even when they’re quiet, you get the eerie feeling they’re staring into your soul. If you have any interest in keeping your secrets secret, stay away from this roommate.
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Introverted to the core, these types will shut themselves up in their rooms for hours on end. This might not be a problem, except they resent you for any bit of noise or interruption you make. Want to watch Legally Blond 2 in the living room? Be prepared for a death glare as they emerge from their room for a glass of water. Also, if they ever do decide to watch a movie with you (unlikely) don’t get your hopes up that they’ll be surprised by anything. They’ll sarcastically point out the “twist” ending before the opening credits are even done playing.
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If you don’t like the idea of inhaling confetti every time you get out of bed then don’t room with an ESFP. These lovable entertainers thrive on impulsivity and noise. At 1 AM. At 6 AM. During your afternoon nap. These specimens seem to live in a colorful, boisterous reality where time ceases to exist (queue the Twilight Zone theme song). While life will never be short of exciting with them around (a banana split at 3 AM isn’t always a bad idea) you may find yourself blowing all your extra money on white noise machines, ear plugs, fans, door locks, and literally anything to make your life just a teensy bit quieter.
These types know how to turn on the charm, especially when it comes time to follow through on responsibilities. You’ll think they’re telling you what you want to hear, but then you’ll find yourself doing their chores and thanking them for it. And that doesn’t even cover their reckless, action-hero side. You might think it sounds fun to live with someone who moves like Jason Statham, but when you’re trying to enjoy an afternoon nap and they jump through the glass window in your room because they were “trying out parkour” you’ll regret it.
Don’t presume to know the deep, inner workings of these mysterious personality types. While they may seem harmless and gentle at first glance, they’re the stuff of nightmares if you believe in keeping your space your own. Want all your coasters to be emblazoned with dried flowers and inspirational quotes? Want to have friends over but they’re doing art therapy in the living room while blasting Enya? These types need everything around them to echo their inner world. And that’s fine, but do you want everything around you to echo their inner world? I thought not.
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Living with an ISTP is one way to realize how hopelessly uncool you really are. Sure, having someone around who can fix literally anything is great. But when your romantic partner calls your roommate for help when their car breaks down instead of you, you’ll be left feeling hopelessly inadequate. Plus they have a way of giving you a bored, unimpressed look whenever you’re trying to impress anyone (including them). They see past your façade, don’t care how you feel about it, and that somehow makes them even cooler. It’s better if you get out while you have a sliver of self-esteem left intact!
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If you don’t feel like knowing what’s going on with everyone in your social circle then steer clear of an ESFJ. These types are in-the-know on everyone and everything and they like to talk about it. A lot. Plus they have a distinctly patronizing way of encouraging you to take care of yourself. “MORE fast food?” they’ll ask, while shaking their head and smiling at you. Suddenly your Big Mac tastes like failure. You’ll find yourself shouting, “You’re not my mom!” while running to your room more times than you can count.
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These types like to be in control of everything, from how the cupboards are organized to what time is “lights out” for everyone (it’s 8:30 PM by the way). They run a tight ship which would be great…if they were actually sailing a ship. As it is, you find the piercing whistling and “get out of bed lazybones!” 6 AM wake-up call a bit jarring. Especially on Saturday morning. Before you know it, you’ll be dropping and doing 20 push-ups whenever you feel the least bit rebellious just to get it out of the way.
ISFJs are tricky devils. At first living with them seems like heaven on earth. They bake cookies, keep things tidy, and pay their half of the rent on time. But as time goes on you find yourself feeling increasingly “managed” by them. And they’re so nice about it you can’t help but thank them for it! You want to leave your boxes unpacked for two weeks after moving in? Not gonna fly, buddy. You’ll come home from work and see everything unpacked and neatly organized by color and category. And don’t even get me started on the holidays and seasons! The aroma of pumpkin spice will cover everything in your vicinity from September through Thanksgiving. And if you don’t feel like listening to sleigh bells and Bing Crosby from November 1st to January 2nd, then get away while there’s still time!
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Do you know the movie Groundhog’s Day? If you’d like to live each day like that then you should absolutely room with an ISTJ. Everything will be regimented, repeated, and controlled. You’ll be halfway through your meal when you realize that your cup, plate, and fork are already being neatly tidied away in the dishwasher. And don’t expect to have a boisterous gathering with your friends on a Saturday night – they’ll be turning off the lights and shooing every away when their prescribed bedtime (9 PM) is an hour away. After all, they have a meticulous night time routine that requires complete silence!
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Find out more about your personality type in our eBooks, Discovering You: Unlocking the Power of Personality Type, The INFJ – Understanding the Mystic, The INTJ – Understanding the Strategist, and The INFP – Understanding the Dreamer. You can also connect with me via Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter!