Ever been broken up with for a completely “silly” reason? In today’s article, we’re taking a tongue-in-cheek look at some of the most petty reasons each of the 16 personality types would break up with you! But remember, this is meant to be humorous – not an attack on any particular type. Aspects of each type are exaggerated for comedic effect.
Table of contents
Estimated reading time: 6 minutes
You don’t like traveling. The ENFP, in contrast, has a wanderlust that makes the idea of staying in one place for more than a few months unbearable. You call them a bad partner for choosing to see the world instead of being with you, and they leave to catch their flight before you can say “I told you so”
In their defense, you were too busy planning your wedding while they were booking their plane ticket.
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You re-organized their desk. Sure, it might have looked like a tornado hit it, but you thought they would be grateful to finally have a clean and organized workspace. Instead, they feel like you’re controlling and now the “method” in their “madness” is all mixed up. They see this as a bad omen for the rest of the relationship and leave before you decide to reorganize something else.
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You were vacantly scrolling Instagram while their favorite song was playing in the car. How could you be emotionlessly scrolling when something as profound and passionate as this song is playing? They can’t fathom being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t understand how music speaks directly to their soul.
You text them too much. You just asked how they were doing after asking “How was your day?” an hour ago. Could that much have changed? How emotionally unstable do you think they are?
You just watched their favorite movie. Later, they excitedly sit next to you, fingers clasped in excitement, and ask you what you thought. You say ‘it was fine’ and then ask what’s next on the agenda. They go dead inside. That’s it? No analysis? No late night convos about how it impacted your life? How dare you not be as enthusiastic about it as they are?
They leave before you can even finish the popcorn.
You have no books in your room. Literally. There’s only a basket of People magazines next to the toilet. The ENTJ needs their room to be a sanctuary of knowledge, not gossip rags. They can’t even look you in the eye after they emerge from the bathroom.
You started watching TikToks while they were reading and listening to Enya. Now their inner sanctuary has been invaded by an annoying jingle that won’t get out of their head for weeks. They have no choice but to leave before they lose all faith in humanity.
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You put your coffee down on top of their stack of leather-bound books. Okay, this may not actually count as “petty” – but you were distracted and didn’t realize what you were doing! They’re not going to stick around for this level of incompetence.
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You can’t keep up with them socially. Whether it’s the new bar that just opened downtown or a new underground boxing ring they recently joined, your energy just can’t match theirs. You tread water while they sail throughout the city. They’ll leave you on shore to dry up before you get too clingy.
They catch you reading your horoscope. Actually reading. Not laughing at it. Not making a joke about it. Actually reading it seriously. They’ll never want to date you again, but they’d be too embarrassed to break up with you in person so instead, they just ghost you.
You exaggerated something about yourself to impress them. First of all, how could you think they’re so oblivious? Secondly, if they stayed, they’d have to take everything you say with a grain of salt now. They may act quiet and congenial, but they’ve already mentally packed their bags.
You keep trying to convince them that Twilight isn’t actually that bad. The last thing they need in their lives is someone who hovers over their bed while they’re sleeping or actually believes that Twilight is anything more than a horrible amalgamation of every terrible YA novel ever written. They never message you back and block your number.
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You didn’t RSVP to their birthday party even though they invited you weeks ago. They had the entire event planned with you in mind! What’s wrong with you? The relationship has been going on for an entire month! Don’t think they’ll stick around long enough to hear your excuses.
They tried to put something in your refrigerator; “try” being the key word. You haven’t cleaned out your refrigerator in months. They tried to overlook it, but they couldn’t even scrub it out because the stench was so strong. They’ll leave for their own sanity and bask in the orderliness of their own home.
You accidentally ran over a squirrel while you were driving them to the movies. If you had acted appropriately remorseful (tears, existential crisis, weeks plagued by guilt) it would have been forgivable! But you merely said “oops!” cringed, and glanced in your rearview mirror regretfully. You both deserve some time apart. They need to heal before you even think about apologizing.
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You left old food containers on the counter and now there are ants everywhere. They didn’t sign up for this kind of chaos. If this was a one-time occurrence they might be able to look past it, but they also found candy wrappers lurking in the back seat of your car. Where does it end?
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What Are Your Thoughts?
Did you enjoy this article? Do you have any thoughts or funny stories to share? Let us (and other readers) know in the comments!
Find out more about your personality type in our eBooks, Discovering You: Unlocking the Power of Personality Type, The INFJ – Understanding the Mystic, The INTJ – Understanding the Strategist, and The INFP – Understanding the Dreamer. You can also connect with me via Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter!