10 Things You Should Never Say to an ENFP
Have you ever offended or irritated someone and not really been sure how you did it? Each personality type finds different phrases more irritating than others. Call a thinking-type overly emotional and they’ll be furious! Call a feeling-type selfish and they’ll be thrown into anxious self-analysis. What words really get under the skin of the enthusiastic, innovative ENFPs? Let’s find out!
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10 Things You Should Never Say to an ENFP
#1 – “Because That’s How It’s Always Been Done”
ENFPs lead with a process called Extraverted Intuition (Ne). Ne is focused on new, future-oriented possibilities. As a result, ENFPs are driven to find novel, innovative ways to do things. The “tried-and-true” method is boring to them. They are more skeptical of traditional methods and more focused on improving and brainstorming new, unprecedented advances.
#2 – “Be More Realistic”
Unlike their Se-dominant cousins the ESFPs, ENFPs are much more focused on theoretical outcomes than realistic, present-day occurrences. They are less focused on what “is” and more focused on what “could be”. They want to challenge pre-conceived ideas and question what others take for granted. Being told to stifle this part of their personality is frustrating and can leave them feeling misunderstood and limited.
#3 – “Because I Said So”
Authority must be earned with ENFPs, it is never automatically given. Rank, titles, and position mean little to Ne-dominant types. Being told “because I said so” will only invite numerous retaliatory questions. “Why do you say so?”, “Explain your position”, “Why do I have to follow you instead of …”, “But you don’t understand the whole story!”.
#4 – “You Can’t Do That”
This statement is simultaneously frustrating and invigorating to ENFPs. On one hand, they dislike being limited or underestimated, on the other hand, it ignites a fire in them that motivates them to prove you wrong. “You don’t think I can? Watch me.”
#5 – “You Have No Idea”
Really? Because ENFPs have about a thousand ideas about “the” idea…in fact, the more you talk about the idea, the more you trigger a plethora of interconnected, related ideas that build upon themselves exponentially.
#6 – “You’re Such a Flirt!”
ENFPs tend to be enthusiastic, playful, and warm-hearted. Unfortunately, this can confuse more reserved types and be misconstrued as flirting. I have spoken to countless ENFPs who are sick and tired of having their motives questioned when they were just being friendly.
#7 – “Here’s your project. The deadline is tomorrow.”
ENFPs like to take their time to make sure their projects are up to their high standards. When they are pushed to reach a quick deadline they feel that they don’t have the time to innovate, imagine, and be creative with the job they’ve been given. A job done in a hurry is rarely satisfying to an ENFP.
#8 – “Stop brainstorming and just decide!”
ENFPs love to brainstorm and entertain endless possibilities. They don’t like to decide on something till they’ve explored every possible angle or potential alternative. Being rushed to make a decision is a sure way to stress them out and make them irritable.
 #9 – “You’re perfectly normal!”
If there’s anything ENFPs don’t want to be, it’s normal. These visionary, imaginative types take pride in being different, skeptical, and thinking outside the box. Telling them they’re fitting perfectly fine “in” the box is a major insult.
#10 – “If you really cared about me, you’d…”
ENFPs detest being treated with passive aggression. If you want something from them, just be direct and ask them for their help. Don’t try to guilt them into fulfilling your needs or desires.
What Do You Think?
Do these lines bother you as well? Do you have any statements you’d like to add? Share your thoughts in the comments!
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Hey guys. This is so ridiculous. I have the end of two relationship with the absurd reason behind. Read #6
Wow. Yep. Nailed it.
Definitely. I will deck someone if they call me normal.
Is she an astrologer or something coz thats sooooooooo acurateee…
Wonderful insight into my ENFP daughter. Those are SO her pet peeves and stress reactions.
All of them, but especially number 2 and 10 are dealbreakers.
The ninth and tenth ones wasn’t my problems but all others was. When someone says ”Be quiet – or more realistic! We don’t want hear your ideas!” I get annoyed internally but i have good patience and I can hide also nonverbal signals.
Susan – I think you’re great. I absolutely love receiving your emails re ENFPs. Yup I’m one. I am going through something quite serious health-wise and people around me are telling me to do almost everything on this list. I’m so stressed out and over-whelmed from it all but reading your email today – now I know why. Helped clear things up….. Thanks so much. Onward.
My pet-hates come from interactions with Customer Service personnel:
It’s the petty rules and regulations that often mask poor or rigid practices…. “You have to ring first, to make an appointment!” “You can’t just walk in, you know….”
OK, but I’m here now….
Or the ‘Stop’ signs put up, that herald a flat refusal…. “No, we can’t do that!” “I’m not authorized to do that!”
OK, so tell me, what can you do? / who is authorized?
I had someone try to guilt-trip me with #10. I was so angry, I told them that if they felt that way, they could leave. I never spoke to that person again.