The INFJ Shadow Functions: A Guide

Have you ever wondered how the INFJ’s shadow functions impact you? Whether you’re an INFJ or close to one, the shadow can creep up and cause both negative and positive impacts in your life. Today we’re going to dive much deeper than most people do into the psyche of the INFJ. I hope you enjoy the ride!

“Knowing your darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness of other people.”
– Carl Jung, INFJ

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An intro to the INFJ:

INFJs are complex, insightful individuals who rely primarily on four cognitive functions: Introverted Intuition, Extraverted Feeling, Introverted Thinking, and Extraverted Sensing. This combination of functions helps the INFJ to gain insights into people, situations, as well as spot patterns, ripple-effects, and likely outcomes.

INFJ “Mystics” harness their intuition, empathy, and pattern-recognition to form forecasts of what could happen in the future. They want to make a difference in the world, to help people, to guide the world towards a better future. As Idealists, the world of the possible is more fascinating to the INFJ than the world of what “is.” Because of that, they have a reputation for being dreamers, even diviners of sorts.

But what about the INFJ’s shadow? Today we’re diving really deep into type theory to look at the INFJ’s shadow functions. This may seem confusing if you’re brand new to type and have just learned your four-letter code. If so, you could start with a beginner post like What Is An INFJ?

The shadow functions are the most unconscious functions of the INFJ, and they can show up at times when the INFJ feels they are “not themselves” or are acting in a way that seems foreign to them. These functions may also be hard for an INFJ to see in themselves. We’ve all had those moments where we see someone say “I NEVER do that” and we have to hold our tongues because have seen them do exactly that thing. Often, those “I never do that” feelings come because we haven’t consciously caught ourselves in the act of acting in our shadow. We don’t want to accept that those behaviors, worldviews, or perspectives are part of “us.”

The shadow can also show itself when someone is extremely stressed, under immense pressure, or has a strong negative reaction to something that threatens their ego or identity.

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What Carl Jung Believed

Carl Jung believed that the shadow functions are the unknown or dark side of our personalities. The shadow is instinctive, irrational, and often what we project onto our enemies. We find ourselves simultaneously intrigued and attracted to these functions in others, yet distrusting and skeptical of them at the same time. Because we experience such a conscious separation from these functions, we may project our own failures in using them onto others.

What Is Projection?

A narcissist who lies constantly believes that everyone else is lying about everything and feels that they can’t trust anyone. They have projected their own dishonesty onto others who may actually be honest and truthful.

We all tend to have poor control of our own shadow functions because they are so unconscious to us. When we see other people using these functions, even in a positive or advanced way, we may project our own negative use of these functions onto them. Like the lying narcissist who can’t trust anyone, the INFJ who has Introverted Sensing in their shadow functions may not trust or respect someone else’s positive use of Introverted Sensing.

What are the INFJs Shadow Functions and How Are They Used?

Shadow functions are often the source of the negative and unhealthy aspects of our personality. They are the parts we’re ashamed of, that show up when we “lash out” at others, behave in ways we regret, or exhibit a loss of control. They may show up in our dreams and cause us to act in our dreams in ways that are completely unlike us.

But shadow functions aren’t all bad. They can also be a source of enlightenment, depth, or humility. When we become aware of our shadow, we become aware that we are imperfect. Many people spend their whole lives being unaware of their shadow, but when it becomes apparent, we can have more humility, realizing we are not infallible or beyond reproach.

At the same time, knowing our shadow can help us to realize the blind spots we may have in our natural view of things. We can see that perhaps we should pause and consider the perspective of functions that don’t normally come naturally to us. Thus our perspectives and decisions can be more balanced and mindful.

We usually aren’t very aware of our shadow functions, because they are in such opposition to our primary cognitive functions. You can see this if you take a look at the functions side-by-side (above).

Because the shadow is largely unconscious, and we don’t associate it with our “true” selves, it almost never completely take over our personalities. Instead, it stays in the background, we don’t truly identify with it, but it may “speak” to us throughout the day when we experience stressors or threats to our ego.

The Names of the INFJ Shadow Functions:

The 1^st shadow function, Extraverted Intuition, is labeled The Opposing Role.
The 2^nd shadow function, Introverted Feeling, is labeled The Critical Parent.
The 3^rd shadow function, Extraverted Thinking, is labeled The Trickster.
The 4^th shadow function, Introverted Sensing, is labeled The Demon.

 

The Opposing Role

Your 1^st shadow function is the most advanced of your shadow functions, yet still almost entirely unconscious in its use. This function will show up mainly as a way you become defensive. It’s how you might “throw a tantrum,” become rude, obstructive, or unfriendly. If you are having an argument with someone and they insult your ego, you may react brashly or with a quick temper, spouting out words or thoughts that oppose your normal way of thinking. The Opposing function speaks up like an argumentative child who must have his way. Because the INFJs Opposing Role is Extraverted Intuition, we have to have a basic understanding of what Extraverted Intuition is.

What Is Extraverted Intuition?

Extraverted Intuition is the ability to see how one thing could lead to many complex alternatives. It sees limitless possibilities and potential outcomes. People who have proficient use of Extraverted Intuition (Intuitive Perceivers) are extremely flexible and open-minded and regularly modify their viewpoints based on new information.

The Difference Between Extraverted and Introverted Intuition

INFJs have a strong use of Introverted Intuition, which means they tend to be more single-minded in their focus, connecting all the dots to form one major conclusion or insight. Once they have formed that insight and reflected on it, they hold to it very tightly. This gives the INFJ their characteristic resolve and belief in their revelations. Extraverted Intuitives tend to see many possibilities and insights and are more frequently changing their minds about them. This makes them more open-minded, but while the INFJ is at risk of being called stubborn, the Extraverted Intuitive is at risk of never settling on a clear conclusion.

The INFJ uses Extraverted Intuition (Ne) in a largely unconscious way. They respect it and are intrigued by it, but consciously have a hard time controlling it. If someone challenges one of their insights or their core revelations, the Opposing Role may come into play and the INFJ may use Extraverted Intuition in a confused, haphazard way to try to confirm their beliefs.

This process can look like being oppositional with someone who is skeptical of your ideas and posing hypothetical questions to get them stumped or make them see how narrow-minded they are. It can also look like seeing absurd possibilities in a moment of stress and worrying you’ll act on them (for example, “What would happen if I drove my car off this bridge? I really could do it!”)

While INFJs can enjoy brainstorming and thinking about numerous possibilities, much like Intuitive-Perceivers can, they can become overwhelmed if these possibilities cause them to doubt their visions or take them out of their preferred focus. Because of this, they may get impatient with people who constantly bring up alternative possibilities rather than focusing on the one idea they’re trying to present.

The Critical Parent

The INFJ’s second shadow function, and sixth cognitive function, is labeled The Critical Parent. Why? The critical parent is the nagging, harsh voice in your head that tells you that you have failed, that you’re not good enough, or that you’re doing something poorly. It can also use this same voice in judging others. For the INFJ, the critical parent role is filled by Introverted Feeling.

What is Introverted Feeling?

Introverted Feeling is a strong awareness of one’s own values and beliefs and emotions. It is more concerned with one’s own subjective values than the emotions and desires of others. People who have a strong use of Introverted Feeling (INFPs and ISFPs) hold very fast to their personal morals and emotions, and try to live in accordance with them. While they may be extremely open-minded and empathetic to others, they will not personally go against anything that doesn’t strongly align with what they believe is right for them. What they believe is important is independent of social norms and environmental factors. They form their sense of how to be based on their own deeply-held personal beliefs. Because of this, they are individualists.

Rather than being social chameleons (as FJ types tend to be), Introverted feelers march to the beat of their own drum. They don’t want to be influenced by others’ moods and expectations, they want to stay who they are at all costs. In turn, they are private with their feelings and keep their emotions more internalized, not feeling the need to share them with others or get affirmation that their feelings “make sense.”

How Introverted Feeling Affects the INFJ

INFJs, who use Extraverted Feeling as their second primary function, are extremely aware of other people’s emotions but far less aware of their own. They have a harder time saying “no” to things they don’t want to do because they are so concerned with maintaining harmony. It can be challenging for them to define how they feel or what they want or need. This is why many INFJs become suddenly indecisive when asked what they want to do for the night, what food they want to eat, or how they feel about a rule or agenda.  When asked to express what they want, the INFJ feels selfish and worried about giving the wrong answer. They like to know first what other people want, and then they may tailor their answers based on the other person’s needs and desires. An Introverted Feeler would have a much easier time describing what they want and expressing it (unless they have a 9 Enneagram type).

Introverted Feeling manifests itself in the INFJ as an internal criticizing voice. “Why can’t you make up your mind? Don’t you stand for anything? You are such a fake. You have failed to uphold your own standards.” It can also express itself in judgments the INFJ makes upon others; “That person is being fake.” “That person is a phony,” “That person has no real values or morals!” Normally the Critical Parent function will only show itself in times of extreme stress where something important is at risk. When it is engaged, it can overpower us and cause major damage to ourselves and our relationships.

The Trickster

The trickster function, sometimes referred to as the deceiving function, fools you into thinking that something is important to do in defense of your ego. It causes you to see yourself and others in a false light and it distorts your experiences so that you misunderstand them and react to others in an overly critical or defensive way.

Typology experts say that the Trickster comes out when there is a threat of ego disintegration. So the trickster may come out when your self-identity and self-esteem are vitally threatened.

For the INFJ, the trickster role is fulfilled by Extraverted Thinking (Te). INFJs are not normally skilled at using this function and can make mistakes in perception or decision-making when trying to use it.

What is Extraverted Thinking?

Extraverted Thinking makes decisions based on objective facts and logic from the outside world. Extroverted Thinkers like to control and organize their outer world in a way that is effective and efficient. This makes them excellent at delegating and leading; gathering everyone and telling them what to do to achieve a goal in a timely way. Extraverted Thinking types consider logic and pros and cons when making a decision, and are less concerned with harmony and the emotions of people involved.

How INFJs Use Extraverted Thinking

An INFJ may project their poor Extraverted Thinking abilities onto another person who is effectively using Extraverted Thinking. For example, an ESTJ may try to organize or delegate to the INFJ in some way. They are very proficient at this, but the INFJ may naturally bristle at this strong display of Te. They may think, “You’re trying to control me! You are such a power-hungry animal! I will not let you do this so I will try to exert my control over my own life and system back to you!” The only problem is that the INFJ has poor conscious control over Te and may try to use it in a way that is completely inefficient or has logical loopholes. They may also read into what the ESTJ is doing and distort it into a different experience or motive. The ESTJ may be, in actuality, trying to help the INFJ, yet the INFJ sees it as an effort to try to control them and claim ownership of them.

The Demon

The demon is the most suppressed area of your unconscious personality. It feels the most “other” of all our functions and our failures in this area tend to be the most damaging. We may struggle with relating to people who use this function in the dominant position, because our experiences with it are so negative and because we don’t connect with it consciously except in very rare, disquieting cases.

“The Demon is what we need to be ashamed of-the flaw in our character for which integrity exists and is needed.”
– John Beebe

The INFJs Demon function is Introverted Sensing. This means out of all the eight cognitive functions, this is the one they have the least conscious control over.

What Is Introverted Sensing (Si)?

Introverted Sensing (Si) is the storing and recall of past data and experiences. Introverted Sensors usually have an excellent memory for details, and can look on the past with fondness and appreciation. They look at what has worked well in the past, what is the “tried and true” method, and try to apply it to the present moment.

Si-users (Sensing Judging types) enjoy rehashing the past and can easily tell if something doesn’t match up with past experience. They are quick to see inconsistencies, to notice changes, and to spot abnormalities. When a Si-user experiences something in real-time, they quickly compare it to something they’ve experienced in the past to see if it matches up.

Another interesting facet of Introverted Sensing is that it gives one an awareness of what’s going on inside the body. Because of this, Si-users (SJs) can rapidly tell when something inside is “off.” This can show up as sensing they are becoming ill before another type would notice it, being highly attuned to whether they are hungry, thirsty, or tired.

How INFJs Use Introverted Sensing

Because Introverted Sensing is the INFJs Demon, it normally reflects itself in very negative ways. The INFJ can often be haunted by the past and skeptical of it. They see only what was negative about the past or only the mistakes they made. They may only see the mistakes and failures of others as well.

During moments when an INFJ feels attacked or defensive, they may counter-attack by listing off someone’s past failures in great detail. Embarrassments or mistakes that they might ordinarily be hesitant to verbalize will be laid bare to put the other person in a state of vulnerability or shame.

In turn, they can turn this process in on themselves. They may pinpoint all their mistakes and failures as signs that they will never be anything but a disappointment or a failure. They may become immersed in their past trauma or regrets and unable to get out.

When in the realm of the Demon function, the INFJ can also become completely incapable of holding onto any details accurately and may distort past details to fulfill their vision of failure and hopelessness.

Can the Shadow Functions Ever Be Positive?

Because the shadow functions are so unconscious in nature, it’s hard to ever have very strong control over them. We identify most strongly with our primary functions; these make up our identity and ego.

The shadow functions feel more like strangers inside of us or unwelcome guests. They may seem to shout out thoughts or ideas into our minds that are unwelcome or outside of our conscious control. None of this sounds good, does it? But the truth is, these arguments and thoughts can help us to have balance if we can only be aware of them when they show their faces.

As an INTJ myself, if I over-use Introverted Intuition, then my Extraverted Intuition shadow helps me to see things from another angle. If an INFJ is overdoing it with Extraverted Feeling and losing touch of their own inner values and morals, that Critical Parent of Introverted Feeling may scold them enough that they may stop and consider what their intrinsic values are.

There are times when the Shadow functions are necessary evils in our lives, but there’s a fine line between learning from them and being destroyed by them. We should try to keep our eyes open and be aware of their existence, but most typologists and psychologists suggest we should try not to focus on them too extensively.  It is better to focus on gaining control over our primary functions and to be cautious about how we react when the shadow functions try to take control.

Trying to “practice” using the shadow functions can result in further disintegration and confusion in our lives. It would be like telling a left-handed child they need to practice using their right hand proficiently. It will only cause them to feel frustrated, insecure, and hopeless. Yes, being aware of them is helpful, so that when they do try to get into our lives we can acknowledge that we may be feeling irrational. It can also help us to determine whether we should try to see something from another point of view. But I wouldn’t spend vast amounts of time trying to “master” the shadow. Instead, one should make peace with it, learn from it, and during moments of relaxation, try tapping into it for just a few moments to see what you can learn.

What Are Your Thoughts?

Do you agree or disagree with this article? Do you have any insights based on your own experiences? Let us know in the comments!

Find out more about your personality type in our eBooks, Discovering You: Unlocking the Power of Personality Type,  The INFJ – Understanding the Mystic, and The INFP – Understanding the Dreamer. You can also connect with me via Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter!

References:

Depth Typology: The Guide Map To Becoming Who We Are by Mark Hunziker (Write Way Publishing, 2016)

Energies and Patterns in Psychological Types by John Beebe (Routledge; 1st edition (June 22, 2016)

Understanding Yourself and Others® An Introduction to the Personality Type Code by Linda V. Berens and Dario Nardi (InterStrength, 2004)

Understanding the Archetypes involving the eight functions of type (Beebe model)

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