5 Ways To Annoy An INFP
Today I’m thrilled to talk about the ultimate Idealist; the INFP. INFPs are gentle, insightful people who care deeply about the human race. They are determined to find their purpose in life, to find meaning, and to make a difference for humanity. INFPs are thoughtful and sincere, and prize authenticity and kindness. A.A. Milne, William Shakespeare, Edgar Allan Poe, and Vincent Van Gogh were all INFPs! As you can see, they have a knack for creativity, writing, and expression.
Of course, for the subject of this post I wanted to find out what really bothers INFPs and what particular traits especially get on their nerves. I asked in forums, groups, and checked out my Myers-Briggs® books to get an idea. Here are the five things that got mentioned the most:
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Arrogance
“A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.”
– William Shakespeare, INFP
INFPs value humanity in all its various shapes and forms, and can see nothing more detestable than people who think they deserve better or are somehow “above” anyone else. The INFP sees every individual as full of possibilities and potential. INFPs are champions of the underdogs, the downtrodden, the misunderstood. They will have an open mind to hearing anyone’s problems or concerns, but they are extremely turned off by arrogance and entitlement.
Phoniness
INFPs value authenticity highly and always seek to be true to themselves and their deeply-held personal values. Dishonesty and pretentious behavior turns off the INFP tremendously. As mentioned above, the INFP will have a very open mind towards nearly anyone – but being yourself, being honest, and being authentic are extremely important to them.
Narrow-Minded Judgments
“I believe in everything until it’s disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it’s in your mind. Who’s to say that dreams and nightmares aren’t as real as the here and now?”
– John Lennon, INFP
INFPs are extremely open-minded and imaginative. They see the world as full of endless possibilities and forces. They often deal with being stifled in their youth by people who find their creative musings and insights “unrealistic” or “impractical”. Because INFPs make up only 3-4% of the population it is often rare that they find people who can appreciate and understand their inner world and imaginative personality.
Being Put On the Spot
“I’m shy, paranoid, whatever word you want to use. I hate fame. I’ve done everything I can to avoid it.”
– Johnny Depp, INFP
INFPs are often shy and reserved and are made incredibly uncomfortable by being pushed into the limelight. While they are drawn to creative endeavors that may bring them attention, they are extremely self-conscious about being the center of conversation or the object of scrutiny. They’d much rather enjoy their creative freedom without the attention that goes along with it.
Poor Listening Skills
INFPs have incredibly strong listening skills; in fact, neuroscientist Dario Nardi, said in his book The Neuroscience of Personality that INFPs “often enter a special listening mode. They are consummate listeners. They thoroughly engage all brain regions that process voice, words, and sounds; moreover, they may easily enter a unique whole-brain state when listening to other people, whoever those people might be.” Because the INFP has such excellent listening skills, they are often disappointed when they aren’t met with the same courtesy by others. They especially hate when people try to jump in and “fix” a problem when they are trying to discuss their feelings or emotions. They would much rather be listened to fully first, then receive empathy and understanding, then solutions.
The INFP and Stress
What Do You Think?
Are you an INFP with an opinion on this post? Feel like sharing your pet peeves? Let me know in the comments!
Find out more about your personality type in our eBooks, Discovering You: Unlocking the Power of Personality Type,  The INFJ – Understanding the Mystic, and The INFP – Understanding the Dreamer. You can also connect with me via Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter!
Other Articles You Might Enjoy:
10Â Things You Should Never Say to an INFP
10 Surprising Truths About INFPs
Why INFPs and INFJs are Drawn to Sad Things
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This is me to a T. It doesn’t get any more accurate than this.
Thank you for this post. I’ve spent my entire life feeling as if no one is really listening. Maybe that’s why we INFPs like to spend time alone—there’s no one to disappoint us. 🙂
So in tune with this! It’s me…
This is excellent. It fits me to T. I found this post because I was looking for an explanation of why aggressive extroverts drain me and often make me angry. The Poor Listening Skills answers my question thoroughly, accurately, and profoundly. Thank you. You have given me a great gift.
Thank you for reading it! Yes, INFPs have amazing listening skills and definitely can struggle with finding others who listen as fully as they do.
As an INFP I also get extremely annoyed if my planned “alone-time” is interrupted or ruined by other peoples needs or plans.
YES, YES, YES! And people don’t seem to understand just how sacred that alone time is. How are we expected to survive without it?!
exactly!
Totally agree !
I do prefer to be alone. Just want to contemplate and appreciate what is here existing with me. To think about the little things that get you curious, or riled.
It has been a challenge being able to find others who listen as intently as I do. But… I must confess, I can only offer what I have been given, so if that means I offer you half-assed, you need only look to yourself why?
This is all very fascinating stuff!????????
Totally agree with the phoniness. Can spot it a mile away and is a HUGE turnoff. Yuck.
This made me laugh because it’s so accurate. Some of these are more than annoying; they are deal-breakers for close relationships vs. acquaintances, or in the case of being put on the spot–I always hated being called on in classrooms! Great article. 🙂
OMG!! This is so correct..I’ve had many times when I’m just wanting someone to listen and they immediately jump in and try to tell me how to fix something..I totally agree that they need to listen to me fully and then show they understand and then we discuss the different angles and solutions that could be possible to what’s bothering me..lol love this!!