5 Ways To Annoy An INFP
Today I’m thrilled to talk about the ultimate Idealist; the INFP. INFPs are gentle, insightful people who care deeply about the human race. They are determined to find their purpose in life, to find meaning, and to make a difference for humanity. INFPs are thoughtful and sincere, and prize authenticity and kindness. A.A. Milne, William Shakespeare, Edgar Allan Poe, and Vincent Van Gogh were all INFPs! As you can see, they have a knack for creativity, writing, and expression.
Of course, for the subject of this post I wanted to find out what really bothers INFPs and what particular traits especially get on their nerves. I asked in forums, groups, and checked out my Myers-Briggs® books to get an idea. Here are the five things that got mentioned the most:
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Arrogance
“A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.”
– William Shakespeare, INFP
INFPs value humanity in all its various shapes and forms, and can see nothing more detestable than people who think they deserve better or are somehow “above” anyone else. The INFP sees every individual as full of possibilities and potential. INFPs are champions of the underdogs, the downtrodden, the misunderstood. They will have an open mind to hearing anyone’s problems or concerns, but they are extremely turned off by arrogance and entitlement.
Phoniness
INFPs value authenticity highly and always seek to be true to themselves and their deeply-held personal values. Dishonesty and pretentious behavior turns off the INFP tremendously. As mentioned above, the INFP will have a very open mind towards nearly anyone – but being yourself, being honest, and being authentic are extremely important to them.
Narrow-Minded Judgments
“I believe in everything until it’s disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it’s in your mind. Who’s to say that dreams and nightmares aren’t as real as the here and now?”
– John Lennon, INFP
INFPs are extremely open-minded and imaginative. They see the world as full of endless possibilities and forces. They often deal with being stifled in their youth by people who find their creative musings and insights “unrealistic” or “impractical”. Because INFPs make up only 3-4% of the population it is often rare that they find people who can appreciate and understand their inner world and imaginative personality.
Being Put On the Spot
“I’m shy, paranoid, whatever word you want to use. I hate fame. I’ve done everything I can to avoid it.”
– Johnny Depp, INFP
INFPs are often shy and reserved and are made incredibly uncomfortable by being pushed into the limelight. While they are drawn to creative endeavors that may bring them attention, they are extremely self-conscious about being the center of conversation or the object of scrutiny. They’d much rather enjoy their creative freedom without the attention that goes along with it.
Poor Listening Skills
INFPs have incredibly strong listening skills; in fact, neuroscientist Dario Nardi, said in his book The Neuroscience of Personality that INFPs “often enter a special listening mode. They are consummate listeners. They thoroughly engage all brain regions that process voice, words, and sounds; moreover, they may easily enter a unique whole-brain state when listening to other people, whoever those people might be.” Because the INFP has such excellent listening skills, they are often disappointed when they aren’t met with the same courtesy by others. They especially hate when people try to jump in and “fix” a problem when they are trying to discuss their feelings or emotions. They would much rather be listened to fully first, then receive empathy and understanding, then solutions.
The INFP and Stress
What Do You Think?
Are you an INFP with an opinion on this post? Feel like sharing your pet peeves? Let me know in the comments!
Find out more about your personality type in our eBooks, Discovering You: Unlocking the Power of Personality Type, The INFJ – Understanding the Mystic, and The INFP – Understanding the Dreamer. You can also connect with me via Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter!
Other Articles You Might Enjoy:
10 Things You Should Never Say to an INFP
10 Surprising Truths About INFPs
Why INFPs and INFJs are Drawn to Sad Things
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This is me! I am extremely turned off by ‘arrogance and entitlement’ or anyone flaunting their status in any manner. Be genuine, you don’t have to impress me and I will turn off my listening switch immediately!
I’ve been at a loss to find others who think the way I do. No wonder I’m alone most of the time.
Great article.
Fake people are sometimes difficult to tell, but I don’t like people faking themselves. And if someone lies to me and I catch that they lied to me, I will have a tough time fully trusting them again until they prove themselves to be trustworthy people. I also don’t like people walking over the underdogs. I’m also very wary that people could try and hurt me because I’ve got this air of innocence about me, and people mistake that for ignorance. And I remember I got angry at one point at a friend because she lied to me and I sort of shut myself off from most of the world. When I’m angered, I tend to either isolate myself or talk to a few close friends about it. I do have one friend who I’m really close with because she’s super trustworthy and is very honest, but tactfully so. I don’t like people sugar coating, but I also don’t like “tough love.” Tough love sometimes feels like an excuse to be mean to someone and I don’t like it at all because it’s so dishonest in intent. Also tough love can be downright hurtful sometimes, even accidentally.
I’d have to say you nailed it. Although introversion can sometimes be mistaken for shyness. I’m not shy (as in scared of people or what they might think of me), but I am an introvert and often just prefer to be alone.
Yep! Right on target! I wish more people would “get” the last one. Every time I try to vent they want to jump in and fix things. I just want to be heard.
All this was spot on for me!
I agree with everything you said here. –Fits me very well !
This is extremely accurate!
Yes, it seems strange that folks who are so generally thoughtful and compassionate can get extremely annoyed at these types of traits. INFPs do have their limits! I would also add selfishness and shallowness.
I wouldn’t say annoyed as much as deeply disturbed……….but hey you got it!
This is quite funny because throughout my life there have been certain people that I have a very hard time with. I can usually be understanding of most people and find good things in everyone, but the people that I have a hard time with have the above traits. Now I know. It’s the INFP in me.