5 Ways To Annoy An ISFJ
Do you have a friend that always lends a listening ear no matter what? He or she is there to help when you need it, and asks for nothing in return? Perhaps your friend is on the quiet side and enjoys taking care of others while staying away from the limelight themselves. They’re practical, resourceful, and patient. These are all characteristics of the ISFJ. Referred to as The Protectors by psychologist David Kiersey, ISFJs seek to encourage others and help them in practical ways. They balance out an awareness of others’ emotions (Fe) with an incredible memory for detail (Si) and an internal sense of logic (Ti). This gives them the kind of steady, warm, practicality that is comforting and reassuring to others. They tend to not voice their irritations readily and loathe confrontation, so it’s important to know what really does bother them.
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Estimated reading time: 5 minutes
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Many of the annoyances we discuss in these posts are universal; after all, doesn’t everyone hate when people chew loudly or are rude? But certain annoyances are amplified according to your type. For example, an ISFJ who likes to have a plan is going to be more irritated by a sudden change than a spontaneous ENFP. Even if you’re not an ISFJ you may relate to some of these irritations, but ISFJs find these particular pet peeves especially frustrating.
Inconsiderate Behavior
ISFJs are extremely aware of the emotions and moods of others. They take in all the details around them and can quickly sense if someone is feeling uncomfortable, awkward, or left out. People who go through life blissfully unaware of these things tend to frustrate the ISFJ. People who make crass jokes at others’ expense, stand in the middle of grocery aisles so others can’t get through, or are generally loud and obnoxious grate on the ISFJs nerves.
Interrupted Plans
ISFJs thrive on routine and knowing what to expect at any given time. They are excellent planners who enjoy knowing how their week is going to unfold, what meals they are going to make, what outings they are going to schedule. A sure way to stress out an ISFJ is to make a sudden change to their plans or spontaneously interrupt them with a new direction or agenda. It’s better to call them ahead of time if you want to get together instead of showing up unexpectedly at their house, and it’s better not to surprise them without checking to make sure they don’t already have something on their schedule for the day.
Touchy-Feely Strangers
Want to greet an ISFJ you hardly know with a great big bear hug? Think again! While ISFJs may love to snuggle with their kids or spouse, they usually prefer personal space around acquaintances or strangers. People who stand too close to them in line, greet them with a squeeze that’s just a little too tight, or otherwise like to poke and prod will irritate the ISFJ. Get to know them pretty well before you start getting too physically affectionate. Take cues from how they treat you – if they reach out for a handshake, don’t ignore it and give them a hug instead.
Lateness
Like we mentioned in the first point, ISFJs like to stay on schedule and have a plan for everything. When people are running late or dilly-dallying it causes them an undue amount of stress. Show an ISFJ that they’re important to you by keeping appointments, being ready on time, and following through on your commitments.
Bad Grammar and Poor Spelling
ISFJs are usually very careful and precise when it comes to their writing skills, and they find the kind of commonly accepted misspellings used in texting and social media extremely irritating. While they’re not likely to say anything about it, they will feel the strong urge to do so. If you want to make a good impression know the difference between your and you’re and their, there, and they’re. Now that I’ve said that, I’m sure there is probably some kind of grammatical or spelling error in this post somewhere that I’ve missed. ISFJs, you can let me know in the comments, I’ll try not to be offended 🙂
What Do You Think?
Did we cover one of your top pet peeves? Do you agree or disagree? Let me know in the comments!
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Posting on behalf of my ISFJ wife who said these fit perfectly. I’ve seen her vent about most of these things off and on, usually when under stress. Unfortunately I can be the cause of the lateness annoyance because I feel just about opposite. Have only us ISTP’s figured out that when you show up reasonably late you avoid all the awkward small talk that happens at the beginning? I certainly bother some people by doing this, which I’m sorry for, but little tricks like this are sometimes the only way I can work myself up to go at all. Now that I know these behaviors upset Jean-Luc I will work on being better. Some alone time with a book and an earl grey and everything will be better:)
Hi Indifferent ISTP! It’s great to hear from you:) I’ve read that an ISFJ/ISTP relationship is usually a very good one, so I’m excited to hear from someone in that pairing 🙂 I love your point about being late to avoid the awkward small talk. I’ll have to share that tip with my ISTP husband – he always likes to be right on time to social things, but then he wants to leave as soon as possible 🙂 I’m really glad you enjoyed this post and thanks for letting me know your thoughts!
Hi Susan, thank cue very much for this interesting piece.
Thank you for taking the time to read what you find here! I hope you have a great day 🙂
I laughed out loud when I got to spelling and grammar because it’s on the top of my list of peeves. Thought it was just me! ISFJ’s make great proof readers for this reason alone! I saw a pin that joked you’ll know when I’ve been kidnapped as I will be mispelling things to let you know something’s up!( And yes I just proofread this several times before posting).
Guess irony is a strong point too, as I misspelt ‘misspelling’
Haha, I love it! I proofread everything I write several times at least before sending it. Sadly, I still miss typos here and there regularly on my blog posts. I’ll go back and read one a few months later and see some completely awful typo and I can never comprehend how I missed it. Maybe it’s because I’m an INFJ and not an ISFJ 🙂
And not only misspelled words, but an instructor not explaining a topic very well, or not seeming to know too much about anything… really! and I’m paying for the course, too!
Now that we talk about it, I think I disagree a bit on this one: misspelling. ISFJ here.
I’ve always wondered why people like us (with no regard of MBTI types) hate a bad writing. Or just simply dislike.
And as you write about this, I notice how you emphasize about proofing and checking.
The core is, I think, we heavily care about pretty much everything when we talk about our personal special people and our feelings and ideas. We care so much we do our best to write flawlessly… and, as in everything, we just hate when our recipients write us with no caring at all in return.
When we talk face to face with another one, I think it boils our heads when they suddenly get distracted with another thing, like, “can you return me a bit of attention I am giving you, lad?” And as in everything, we usually shy about it. But we hate it. And misspelling is a sign of a person not caring enough.
I myself love to do some fun misspelling, like dat gib me giggles :D, but of course, only when I perceive I can be a little free to do so.
Besides, I might have wrote something wrong, as I am not natural at the English language. With caring opinion seeking, a Mexican guy greets you. Viva ISFJ!… if we deserve so, he.
Cues not queues
Thank you!! I knew there had to be one typo in there 🙂
I absolutely love this post! I usually feel guilty for getting annoyed with someone’s actions so it’s quite refreshing to know it’s not only me! Phew!
Hi Susan, this is a great post! ISFJ girl here. This is accurate , but sometimes you wont know when you have annoyed a ISFJ because they dont want to make you feel uncomfortable or feel bad for annoying them, lol
Ahhh, yes, I can understand that! I have the same issue as an INFJ where I tend to keep things bottled up and don’t talk about them unless they violate a value of mine or something really major.
I’m an ISFJ and these are spot on! My husband (an ISTP) now asks me to proofread his emails and text messages lol.
I cannot stand inconsiderate people, especially when it comes to customer service. It irritates me when people are rude to servers and when people go through a checkout line while talking on their cellphone. Personally, I find that beyond rude. That to me says the person doesn’t even care about the cashier’s existence.
I’ve ended friendships over being consistently late. If the person has a good reason or it’s not a frequent occurrence then I’ll let it go. If the individual makes it a habit then I eventually stop making plans with the person.
The only things I’d add to this list are arrogance, inauthenticity and doing things solely for attention. Those drive me crazy!
ISFJs don’t like to be taken for granted. They are always willing to help but her hurt when others try to abuse their kindness. They also take it all in and do not tolerate bullying especially against someone in an helpless situation.
Very true. I see this very much in the ISFJs I know. Thank you for explaining so well!
Luis Arturo Sánchez Gutiérrez,
I really appreciate how you made the comparison between writing something carelessly as being the same as someone not giving the same amount of attention in return if we were talking to them face to face. I never saw it like this before, but I do agree with this comparison. It can feel as if there is no care at all when someone types up something for me to read with misspellings and incorrect usage of punctuation, or lack of. It honestly represents laziness to me more than anything, but I can compare it to that of someone not showing the same amount of attention I was giving them if we were talking face to face. This does bother me a great deal. Very interesting. I also appreciate how well your post was typed up here. I think it also comes down to appreciating the organization of the post, or whatever it is that is being typed up and presented; text, email, etc. A well typed up message speaks organization, neatness, effort; and now, thanks to the understanding brought in your post, someone willing to give enough care and concern to how it is typed up and presented.
I’m an INFP, according to the Myers Briggs 16 personalities test, but found out through another website I took the test at that I am an ISFJ. While I don’t totally disagree that I can at times display personality traits of an ISFJ, I’d probably have to side more with the INFP personality traits. I can definitely see where I use more of my “S” than “N”, but I believe I can be more “P” than “J”. They are both interesting personalities to learn about and discover. I don’t believe we are ever only one fit all the time. I believe our personalities display different traits from time to time, but I don’t believe they should change all that much. After awhile, there should be some consistency in our personalities, with maybe a slight shift every now and again, depending on situations, circumstances, etc.