The Parenting Struggle of Every Extroverted Myers-Briggs® Personality Type

The ENFP Parent

ENFP parents are the quintessential “fun parents.” They’re enthusiastic, nurturing, and always up for a new adventure. They’re the kind who want to peek inside their kids’ hearts and understand every flicker of feeling. They’re great at turning the ordinary into something magical, showing their kids how to see the world through kaleidoscope glasses.

But let’s be honest: parenting’s a marathon of routines and rules, and ENFPs can start to feel like they’re stuck in a never-ending loop of laundry and PTA meetings. They’re wired for change and novelty—too much of the same-old-same-old and their bright spark starts to feel like it’s flickering out.

Other stuff that can drag them down:

Feeling like they’re trapped in the same routine day after day
Trying (and usually failing) to be the strict enforcer of bedtime rules
Having to focus on the here-and-now instead of getting lost in big ideas
Feeling cooped up in the early years of parenting
Never having enough time to chase their own dreams

What helps?

Get those breaks in. Even if it’s just driving around, exploring a new idea, or hanging out with like-minded people, don’t skip it. Find a babysitter, a church group, or a community that can help out if you’re short on backup.
Share your creativity with your kids. They’ll love it as much as you do—and you’ll feel way more alive when you’re making something new together.

Your kids don’t need you to be the perfect parent—they need you to be yourself. Keep showing them the world’s a playground, and they’ll never forget it.

Read This Next: The Best and Worst Parts About Being an ENFP Teenager

The ENTP Parent

ENTPs are usually energetic, resourceful, and innovative parents. They thoroughly enjoy teaching their children new ideas and skills and get a thrill from seeing their children grow into independence and self-sufficiency. ENTPs are usually tolerant and accepting, willing to hear their children’s perspectives even if they’re irreverent or atypical.

The struggle that ENTPs face the most has to do with a loss of freedom. Just like ENFPs, ENTPs want a lot of variety and flexibility. If they are confined to a rigid household routine or aren’t allowed to be creative because of time-constraints they’ll eventually feel bored and restless.

Other Struggles ENTP Parents May Experience:

Emotional neediness and strong reactions from children.
Worry about never having freedom again.
Feeling confined by routines.
Lack of variety/monotony

ENTPs suggest getting regular child-care help so that you can get some time to yourself or go out and spend time with friends. Being able to count on some time for freedom is essential for you, even if at times it’s only a small amount.

Remind yourself that it’s okay to pursue your own non-parenting interests. If you’re a stay-at-home parent then make some time for your personal goals and ambitions. Remember that you being happy results in happier children! Your children will benefit from seeing you work towards your goals and pursue your own independent projects.

Read This Next: 10 Surprising Truths About ENTPs

The ENFJ Parent

ENFJ parents are the heart and soul of the family—always in the mix, always making sure everyone’s got what they need. They’re masters at organizing schedules, pulling off unforgettable birthdays, and turning even Tuesday nights into little celebrations. They’re tuned in to their kids’ feelings, always listening for that spark of a dream, and making sure each kid feels seen and heard.

But even the most organized ENFJ can feel like they’re drowning in a sea of to-do lists when kids come along. Kids don’t always care about schedules or big plans, and that can be a rude awakening for a parent who’s got everything mapped out and ready to go. ENFJs love moving with purpose, but they can end up feeling stretched so thin that they start to lose themselves in the swirl of everyone else’s needs.

Other struggles that can trip them up:

Losing their own identity in the whirlwind of family life
Being so empathetic they can’t always put their foot down
Endless noise and chaos that wears them down
Not knowing when to step back and let their kids figure things out for themselves

Many ENFJs report that scheduling “unstructured” time into their day helps them to feel more at peace with spontaneity. They also find it helpful to talk to a good friend when the stress and unpredictability of parenting gets to be too much. Being able to laugh, vent, and find solidarity with other parents is essential for this personality type.

Even though ENFJs are extroverted, they still need time alone each day to energize themselves and experience some peace and quiet. During this time they can tap into what they really want in life and figure out the best ways to meet not only their family’s needs but their own as well.y their children’s needs, but their own individual objectives.

Read This Next: 10 Talents of the ENFJ and INFJ Personality Types

The ENTJ Parent

Confident, determined, and visionary, ENTJ parents are committed to raising independent, self-sufficient children. Their form of caring isn’t to coddle or make things “easy” for their children. They feel that it’s their job to set up their children for success, which sometimes means taking a backseat and letting their children make their own mistakes and learn via experience. That said, they aren’t cold or uncaring. They are committed to meeting their children’s needs, helping them work through problems, and tuning into where they are intellectually and what their goals and dreams are.

ENTJs struggle with the pace of parenting on many occasions. Focused on productivity, ENTJs like working at a fast pace to accomplish their objectives and meet deadlines. They are also philosophical and enjoy mentally-stimulating, deep conversations. Having to slow down to “play” can make them restless if they have a lot of other things on their to-do list. They can also struggle with the mundane and tedious details or parenting. Washing the dishes only to re-wash them after the next meal can feel absolutely maddening.

Other Struggles ENTJ Parents May Face:

Dealing with strong emotional reactions from children.
Self-criticism and perfectionism
Loss of free time and independence
Being misinterpreted as “mean” when unable to muster the desired emotional response

If you have free time scheduled you’ll feel better about using your time in the allotted way. If you know your children need unstructured downtime, schedule that into the day. Then in that moment you won’t feel like you should be doing something else. Also remember to slow down when your children are being emotional. Instead of instantly pointing out solutions or critiquing try to show them that you’re listening. Validate what they are going before asking them if they’d like help thinking of solutions.

Make sure that you’re getting time for yourself. Even though you’re an extrovert you still need alone time to pursue your own interests. If you don’t have child care readily available then set up some independent activities that your children can enjoy. Things like audiobooks, coloring books, legos, and play-dough can keep kids entertained for long periods of time.

Read This Next: 10 Things That Terrify ENTJs

The ESFP Parent

Energetic and compassionate, ESFPs know how to put the “fun” in parenting. They blend compassion with a sense of pragmatism to connect with their kids emotionally while giving them real-world knowledge and experience. They strive to impart a sense of wonder and adventure in their children. They are naturally playful and tend to enjoy the opportunity to “be a kid again” that parenting provides. They like having an unstructured, flexible lifestyle and are good at adapting to the unpredictable nature of family life.

ESFP parents tend to struggle the most when their family’s values and parenting styles differ from their own. If a spouse is a more “militant” disciplinarian then they can butt heads over which discipline method is best. ESFPs tend to believe in having a meeting-of-the-minds with their children, and working out a unique discipline method depending on the severity of the crime. They have very strong opinions about how they want their children raised and if their partner has a different view they can feel stressed trying to make a decision that will maintain harmony.

Other Struggles ESFP Parents May Face:

Having to conform to a rigid, predictable schedule
Not getting enough free time
Loss of freedom to spend time with friends
Over-empathizing with the hurts of children

Find a support group or playgroup of other parents. Getting solidarity with people who are going through the same struggles as you are will help you to feel less alone. This also helps you to get out and socialize while also providing your kids with an outlet for their energy.

As an ESFP you put a lot of energy into your children. It’s important not to burn yourself out in the process. Take some time to tune into your body – Are you getting enough rest? Are you getting adequate nutrition? Do you need some downtime to slow down your racing mind? Don’t push yourself so hard that you wear yourself out completely.

Read This Next: 10 Things ESFPs Look for in a Relationship

The ESTP Parent

Down-to-earth, energetic, and dedicated, ESTPs bring a lot of excitement and action into their children’s lives. They enjoy getting down on all fours and wrestling or taking their kids out for a game of catch. They enjoy the spontaneity of family life and are good at staying tuned into the immediate needs of their children. Free-spirited themselves, ESTPs foster independence in their children and are good at teaching them practical skills, survival skills, and flexibility.

ESTP parents tend to struggle with a loss of freedom and control in the natural busyness of family life. ESTPs like to be in charge of their own schedule and the adjustment of conforming to a routine and the “daily grind” of parenting can be rough for them at times. Having to repeat the same chores day-after-day, keep shopping lists straight, or put off their own downtime after work to connect with the kids can feel overwhelming sometimes.

Other Struggles ESTP Parents May Face:

Dealing with highly-charged emotions from children
Having to get used to the “slow” times in family life
ESTP moms may feel that they don’t fit the “typical” mothering role
Loss of independence and autonomy

You need a variety of activities available that will meet your need for action and your children’s need for structure. If you hate doing the dishes every day find a way to make it enjoyable (listen to your favorite music while washing the dishes, call a friend, or time yourself to see how fast you can get the dishes into the dishwasher, for example).

As an ESTP you want to respond immediately to your children’s emotions – offering solutions and giving logical advice. This can backfire if your children just want to be heard. Take a moment to just listen, affirm what they’re going through, and then ask if they’d like advice.

Don’t knock yourself for not being similar to the other parents you see out there. Some parents excel at keeping a smooth-running routine and following a set schedule day after day. But you are gifted at responding quickly to surprise scenarios and crises’ that would throw other parents off track completely. Your ability to stay active, ready, and engaged with what’s going on around you is a gift that sets you apart.

Read This Next: 10 Things You’ll Relate to if You’re an ESTP

The ESFJ Parent

ESFJ parents crave a sense of togetherness and harmony in their families. They are good at providing order and structure and tending to the practical and emotional needs of each family member. They consider themselves guardians of their children’s welfare and will do whatever it takes to provide a sense of structure, comfort, and security in the home.

Where ESFJs struggle is with the disharmony that tends to rear its ugly head in family life. Siblings fighting, teens being disrespectful, and children dealing with the inevitable hurts they encounter growing up can all feel overwhelming to ESFJ parents. They tend to feel an urge to “fix” disharmony as quickly as possible, and this can leave them burned out, stressed, and failing to resolve the underlying issues that caused the problem in the first place.

Other Struggles ESFJ Parents Face:

The inevitable noise and chaos of family life.
Perfectionism and burn out.
Lack of alone time or time with friends.

You will feel less overwhelmed if you have a sense of community and support. Find other parents going through the same struggles as you that you can talk freely with. Engage in playgroups and find friends and family members who can help out when life is feeling overwhelming.

Don’t feel like you have to “fix” everything when someone your family is upset. Remember that it can be beneficial for people to learn to grapple with their own emotions and solve their own problems. This doesn’t mean to abandon your children when they are upset, but if your comfort and steady presence isn’t helping them don’t beat yourself up about it. Sometimes children need to find comfort from within rather than without. This isn’t a slight against you.

Make sure that you still get time for rest and relaxation. Even as an extrovert you need some alone time to recharge and get a break from the needs and noise of everyone else in the family.

Read This Next: 7 Things That ESFJs Experience as Children

The ESTJ Parent

Dedicated, loyal, and hard-working, ESTJ parents are deeply committed to providing security for their family. They are intensely pragmatic and want to provide their children with the confidence to face life’s challenges on their own as they grow up. They want to prepare them for real life, giving them the skills and knowledge to achieve whatever goals they set before them.

Where ESTJ parents tend to struggle is with the natural noise and chaos of daily family life. They like to have a clear schedule and routine and they dislike having to switch gears unexpectedly. Having to stop in the middle of something and deal with a tantrum, emotional breakdown, or problem that seems trivial can be aggravating to them. They tend to miss having control over their own schedule and can feel overwhelmed with the responsibilities looming over them.

Other Struggles ESTJ Parents Face:

Dealing with highly-charged emotions from children
“Letting go” when children need to try things their own way
Overly high standards for themselves and/or their children
Noise and the chaotic nature of a busy family life

Get opportunities to accomplish goals outside of your parenting life. If you’re a stay-at-home parent, find a hobby or volunteer opportunity that allows you some independent achievement and focus. This freedom is good for you and allows you to have control over something that’s uniquely yours.

Remember that children need to experiment and try things in new way sometimes. Remember that there’s more than one way to do something before setting limits or correcting your child when they are working on a project.

Find other parents who you can confide in when life feels chaotic and out of control. This gives you a chance to bounce ideas off of other like-minded people to know that you’re not alone and to generate solutions.

Read This Next: 10 Things You Should Never Say to an ESTJ

Are You an Introverted Parent?

Check out the introverted edition of this article here!

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The Parenting Struggle of Every Extroverted Myers-Briggs® Personality Type

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