ESFPs are known for being fun-loving and affectionate partners. They have a zest for life and a practical, no-nonsense nature that is refreshing and uplifting. Many people are drawn to their charisma, optimism, and sense of humor. But what does the ESFP want in a relationship? What factors are the most important to them when they look for a partner? I spent a lot of time interviewing ESFPs to see if I could get an idea of what ranked the highest in order of importance for them. Let’s take a look!
10 Things ESFPs Look For in a Relationship
#1 – Shared Values
ESFPs are very open-minded towards other people and like to encourage others to embrace their individuality and personal preferences. However, when they really commit to someone they have very strong values that they won’t betray. They want to be with someone who shares the same core values so they can stay true to their conscience and avoid conflict further down the road.
#2 – A Sense of Adventure
A routine, stable, “safe” existence can get boring for an ESFP. These individuals have an adventurous streak and thrive on challenging themselves and seeing new places. They need a partner who is willing to take some risks, to explore new places, and try new things. They want a “partner in crime” who is ready to live life to the fullest!
#3 – Empathy
ESFPs are very empathetic individuals, especially as they reach their 20’s and 30’s and start to develop introverted feeling more. They want a partner who will try to step into their shoes and see where they’re coming from before passing judgment or giving criticism. They want someone who will comfort them when they are sad and encourage them on their bad days.
#4 – A Sense of Humor
ESFPs are known for their playful, engaging sense of humor. Nothing turns them off faster than someone who takes themselves too seriously or doesn’t know how to laugh at life. One ESFP I spoke to said, “I don’t need my boyfriend to be cheerful 100% of the time, but they have to know how to lighten up sometimes and laugh about life. I don’t have the energy for constant moping and drama.”
#5 – Curiosity
ESFPs are drawn to new and novel experiences and opportunities. They are curious about the world around them and they like to collect facts and learn how to do a variety of things. They want a partner who is also curious and is ready to explore new possibilities and tangible experiences with them!
#6 – Compassion
Healthy ESFPs have a tremendous passion for their values. Many times they feel a calling to help marginalized people or endangered animals. They want a partner who has a heart for the suffering and who cares about the struggling people of the world around them. Apathy is a major turn off to them.
#7 – Independence
ESFPs tend to be very loyal partners, but they don’t want to be tied down to someone else’s agenda all the time. They like a partner who has their own hopes, goals, and dreams and who encourages them to explore their own independent interests as well. Being given a huge list of relationship “rules” can be a huge turn-off to them.
#8 – Attentiveness
ESFPs are often described as entertainers or “the life of the party”, but they actually can be very private about their own feelings and emotions. It takes time for them to build up enough trust to share their deeper thoughts and values with someone else. They want a partner who knows how to listen when they do share those things, someone who will take them seriously, be open-minded, and refrain from making judgments until they’ve heard the whole story. They want someone who doesn’t expect them to be “the entertainer” 100% of the time and will stick around when things get hard.
#9 – Affection
ESFPs tend to value physical touch and affection a great deal. They are often warm-hearted, affectionate people. In fact, according to this survey, the top love language for ESFPs was physical touch.
#10 – Fun Sensory Experiences
ESFPs want a partner who is willing to go out with them and enjoy the simple pleasures of life and the sights, sounds, and thrills that nature provides. Whether it’s white-water rafting, going out for ice cream, taking a hike, or heading to a concert or festival, ESFPs tend to want plenty of sensory experiences to feel alive and fulfilled.
What Are Your Thoughts?
Do you have any thoughts to add? Let us know in the comments! Find out more about your personality type in our eBook, Discovering You: Unlocking the Power of Personality Type.
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