The Unhealthy INFP
Do you ever wonder if you’re an unhealthy INFP? Like maybe you’re not operating at your best, but your worst? You’re not alone. Every type has its “unflattering era,” the one where you start questioning if you’ve lost your sparkle or just need a nap and a personality reboot. The fact that you’re even wondering about it means you care about growth, and that’s already a sign you’re doing better than you think.
But let’s get real about this whole “unhealthy” thing. There’s no single way it shows up. Sometimes stress drags you into a grip reaction, where you start acting more like a frazzled ESTJ than your usual gentle self. Sometimes life just wears you down until you get stuck in one part of your personality, like an Fi-Si loop that turns your inner world into a nostalgic pity museum. And sometimes it’s just bad luck, bad relationships, or too many days without enough sunlight and meaning.
Point is: one unhealthy INFP might get preachy and self-righteous, while another just quietly disappears into fantasyland with snacks and regret. Both are valid. Both are recoverable.
Let’s break down some of the most common signs of an unhealthy INFP, and what’s actually going on underneath.
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Table of contents
Estimated reading time: 14 minutes
The Healthy INFP
When an INFP is healthy, their mind feels clear, resonant, and quietly powerful. They live by their values with the support of their imagination. These are the people who can write something that cracks your heart open, paint something that makes you remember your childhood dog, or volunteer for a cause so obscure you have to Google it twice.
They care—deeply. About people, animals, underdogs, lost socks, and probably the existential fate of humanity. A healthy INFP wants to understand and heal the world, not dominate it. And while they’re idealistic, they’re also open-minded enough to accept that not everyone will see life through their kaleidoscope of feelings and possibilities, and that’s okay.
They dream big, but they don’t just stay in their heads. When they’re balanced, they use their intuition (Ne) to find creative solutions, their sensing (Si) to stay grounded in what’s real, and their thinking (Te) to actually make stuff happen instead of just feeling about it.
The INFP Cognitive Function Stack (a.k.a. The Personality Orchestra)
Dominant Function: Introverted Feeling (Fi) – The leader of your personality; the part of you that can tell when something feels right and authentic, and when it doesn’t.
Auxiliary Function: Extraverted Intuition (Ne) – The idea generator, constantly asking “But what if…?”
Tertiary Function: Introverted Sensing (Si) – The nostalgic stage manager making sure everything feels familiar and meaningful.
Inferior Function: Extraverted Thinking (Te) – The reluctant project manager trying to convince everyone that deadlines are, in fact, real.
5th / Opposing Role: Extraverted Feeling (Fe) – The people-pleaser who shows up uninvited, insisting everyone hold hands.
6th / Critical Parent: Introverted Intuition (Ni) – The cryptic inner voice that sometimes whispers “You’re missing the point,” and vanishes.
7th / Trickster: Extraverted Sensing (Se) – The chaos gremlin that buys glitter or sushi at 2 a.m. because it felt right.
8th / Demon: Introverted Thinking (Ti) – The overthinking goblin who wakes up at 3 a.m. to tell you your logic is bad and your arguments are worse.
Some INFP Weaknesses:
Even the most idealistic INFP has their blind spots. (Yes, even the ones who journal every day, rescue stray cats, and know all their shadow functions by heart.) The truth is, every type has a few functions they’d rather ghost than deal with, and for INFPs, that list starts with Extraverted Thinking (Te).
Te feels like that loud, overconfident coworker who insists you make a spreadsheet for your emotions. It’s the function that says, “Okay, but what’s your plan?” just when you were about to romanticize the sunset. To the INFP, Te can seem cold, bossy, or just… exhausting. Many INFPs repress it or quietly judge it in others, especially when they’re younger and still figuring out how to organize their lives without losing their soul in the process.
Then there’s Extraverted Feeling (Fe)—the function that waves at everyone, hosts the party, and wants to talk about getting along. To an INFP, Fe can feel like someone trying to hug your boundaries with a velvet straitjacket. “Why are you so desperate to be liked?” the INFP wonders, wondering who Fe is underneath all the people-pleasing. But often, Fe types aren’t being fake, they’re just trying to connect. The INFP’s job is to see that connection as different, not wrong.
And then we have Introverted Thinking (Ti)—the INFP’s 8th function, their inner crypt keeper of logic. Ti shows up when you least expect it, like a math teacher in your brain demanding footnotes. To an INFP, it can seem detached, mechanical, or cold; like it’s missing the human part of the equation.
Here’s the bottom line:
All eight functions matter. Some are your natural talents; others are your growth edges. The more you can respect the ones you don’t “get,” the better you’ll understand people who live by them—and the more balanced, flexible, and human you’ll become.
The Unhealthy INFP
Unbalanced Feeling
When an INFP’s Introverted Feeling (Fi) goes rogue, it stops being a guide and starts being a sword. Instead of quietly guiding your choices, it starts hacking away at anything that doesn’t fit your personal code. Suddenly, every disagreement feels like a betrayal, every differing opinion like an attack on your very soul. You stop seeing nuance and start seeing villains.
In this state, INFPs can get hypersensitive; like emotional barometers that explode at the first sign of stormy weather. They might isolate, resent, and ruminate, telling themselves that the world is shallow and cruel while retreating into their own world of convictions and playlists. From the outside, it can look self-righteous. On the inside, it usually feels like exhaustion, disappointment, and loneliness masquerading as moral clarity.
Many INFPs who end up in this headspace came from environments where they had to defend their feelings to survive. Maybe their empathy was mocked, or their ideals dismissed as naïve. When that happens, Fi builds armor, and sometimes forgets to take it off later. Without support from the other functions, especially intuition, feeling becomes brittle instead of deep, defensive instead of discerning.
Why Extraverted Intuition Is Crucial for INFPs
Extraverted Intuition (Ne) is basically Fi’s air supply. It keeps things moving, expanding, and curious. Without Ne, Fi becomes a closed system, recycling the same emotional lines until they start to smell weird.
Ne is the voice that says, “Okay, I know how this feels, but what else could be true?” It’s the spark that reminds you there are always more angles, more stories, more connections waiting to be found. Where Fi draws the line, Ne smudges it a little, letting in light and possibility.
When these two functions work together, the INFP becomes their best self: values-driven and imaginative, grounded and open-minded. Fi gives conviction; Ne gives perspective. Together, they create someone who can see the world’s flaws without losing faith in its potential, and that’s where the INFP’s real magic lives.
Unbalanced Intuition
When an INFP’s intuition gets unbalanced, it’s like their imagination stages a coup and declares itself the new ruler of reality. Suddenly, the world is divided into two realms: the messy, disappointing now and the beautiful, shimmering someday. They can see the ideal future so clearly it hurts, but getting there feels like trying to build a castle out of mist.
Unhealthy Extraverted Intuition (Ne) spins dazzling visions of what could be but skips the part where you actually have to take out the trash, send the emails, or start the project. It’s intoxicating—dreaming about the future scratches the same itch as achieving it, minus the risk of failure. But then reality barges in like, “Cool fantasy. Where’s your to-do list?” and the INFP’s repressed Extraverted Thinking (Te) starts screaming from the basement.
Te is the function that says, “Okay, let’s make this happen.” But when an INFP shoves it down for too long, they end up trapped in an endless brainstorm loop, overflowing with possibilities but paralyzed by indecision. They know what should exist, they can practically feel it, but they don’t know where to start, and the thought of picking one path feels like betraying all the others. Cue frustration, self-doubt, and the creeping suspicion that they’re wasting their potential.
At its worst, this isn’t just unbalanced intuition—it’s the perfect storm of wild Ne and neglected Te, a tug-of-war between dream and action where both sides lose.
The Defensive INFP
When an unhealthy INFP feels like their values are under siege, they usually take one of two escape routes: denial or defiance.
Option A: The Emotional Ostrich.
They repress their feelings, paste on a gentle smile, and try to convince themselves everything’s fine. They tell themselves they’re being mature, compassionate, understanding, but really, they’re just swallowing resentment whole. It doesn’t go away; it ferments.
Option B: The Righteous Outcast.
They swing the other direction and decide the world is broken and everyone else is deluded. They see themselves as one of the few who really get it; the pure-hearted rebel in a sea of sellouts. From the inside, it feels noble; from the outside, it looks like self-imposed exile. Over time, this can curdle into bitterness, cynicism, and that “misunderstood visionary” martyr complex where they stop engaging altogether.
In either case, what’s really happening is pain trying to protect itself. The INFP feels their authenticity or compassion is being trampled, and rather than risk more hurt, they armor up, either with silence or with superiority. The way back starts with balance: letting logic help you move forward, and letting intuition stay curious instead of self-righteous.
More Mild Expressions of Imbalance/Unhealth:
The truth is, “unhealthy” can show up in degrees; sometimes it’s just subtle rigidity or a low hum of resentment rather than a full existential crisis.
Because INFPs live and die by their Introverted Feeling (Fi), it can take over the entire control room when left unchecked. That’s when the digging-in happens, the “I’m right, the world’s wrong” kind of conviction that feels noble in the moment but usually ends in frustration and isolation. When Fi overpowers everything else, INFPs can get stuck policing everyone’s ethics, convinced that their moral lens is the only one not cracked. They might crusade for a cause they care about so fiercely that everyone who disagrees becomes a villain.
When the Past Won’t Let Go (Tertiary Si Trouble)
Introverted Sensing (Si)—the INFP’s tertiary function—is like a librarian that keeps track of experiences, patterns, and memories. When balanced, it gives the INFP a sense of continuity and belonging. But when it gets weird, it either disappears entirely (cue the chronic forgetfulness and scattered chaos) or takes over (cue the shame spirals about things that happened eight years ago at 2 p.m.).
Young or stressed INFPs might have trouble remembering details or sticking to routines. Older or overwhelmed INFPs might get lost replaying the past, ruminating over mistakes, and letting old hurts define who they are. They can start trusting their personal memories more than new information; “Well, this happened to me, so it must be true for everyone.” That’s the Fi–Si loop: where ideals meet nostalgia and logic gets locked outside in the rain.
When this happens, the INFP stops exploring possibilities (Ne) and starts reinforcing the same emotional narrative over and over, like watching reruns of their worst moments.
The Grip: When Te Takes the Wheel
Every INFP has a breaking point—and when chronic stress hits, they may wear out their dominant function trying to fix everything. That’s when their inferior Extraverted Thinking (Te) bursts out of the basement like a furious project manager who’s just found out nothing’s been filed properly since 2013.
This is the INFP “grip” phase: the moment they stop pondering what’s right and wrong and suddenly become terrifyingly pragmatic. The normally gentle idealist becomes sharp, sarcastic, and control-hungry. They start micromanaging everything, color-coding their to-do lists, and barking at people to “be more efficient,” which usually leaves their loved ones wondering who replaced the soft-spoken dreamer with a cranky middle manager.
Inside, they’re panicking. They’ve lost touch with their usual anchors (values, imagination, empathy), and Te storms in trying to restore order. The more they try to control their environment, the more disconnected they feel.
If you—or an INFP you love—seem stuck in this mode, it’s not a personality transplant. It’s stress. They don’t need to be fixed; they need rest, grounding, and reconnection with what actually matters to them.
Once the storm passes, the idealist comes back; maybe a little battle-worn, but wiser for it.
The Effect of the Shadow Functions:
Every personality type has a dark hallway full of switches they don’t know how to use. For INFPs, those switches are the 5th through 8th functions: the “shadow” side of their personality. They’re real, they’re active, and they can absolutely hijack your life when you’re tired, stressed, or emotionally fried.
5th/Extraverted Feeling:
Fe is that loud, well-meaning person who bursts into your quiet apartment shouting, “We’re doing group hugs now!” INFPs often see this as intrusive, overbearing, or fake; like people trying too hard to make everyone happy or love them at once. When Fe types focus on social harmony, INFPs can bristle, thinking, “Why should I be responsible for everyone’s feelings?” “Are they even being real?”
And yet… sometimes, Fe sneaks in and works wonders. Suddenly the INFP finds themselves reading the room like a pro, sensing exactly what someone needs, and offering warmth that feels almost psychic.
6th/Introverted Intuition:
Ni is the “critical parent” of the INFP psyche. It’s the voice that says, “Are you sure that’s going to work?” It can lock you into negative predictions and worst-case scenarios, whispering that your dreams are doomed before you even start.But when Ni shows up in balance, it’s like the fog clears. Suddenly, you see where things are going. You connect the dots between your ideals and the path ahead. It’s not your usual Ne-style brainstorming; it’s a calm, focused sense of purpose. The trick is to hear Ni’s wisdom without letting it drag you into despair.
7th/Extraverted Sensing:
Ah, Se—the chaos agent. When healthy, it helps INFPs stay grounded, savoring sensory details: sunlight through trees, music that moves through your body, that perfect cup of coffee. But when it slips into trickster mode, Se gets sneaky.
An INFP might twist “facts” or cherry-pick sensory evidence to prove a moral point, trapping others in a logical double-bind. (“If you really cared, you’d see it my way.”) But when Se calms down and gets invited to the table, it becomes the gateway to joy, embodiment, and wonder.
8th/Introverted Thinking:
Ti isn’t evil, just deeply uncomfortable. It lives in the basement muttering about inconsistencies and definitions while Fi upstairs yells, “Feelings are valid!” When Ti is repressed, the INFP can ignore logic entirely or get caught up judging everyone else’s lack of it.
At its worst, this looks like moral superiority with no internal structure to support it. At its best, Ti brings clarity; helping the INFP see the fine distinctions between similar ideas and refine their values into something truly consistent.
When INFPs learn to integrate Ti, they stop fearing logic and start wielding it, bringing their ideals into sharper, truer focus.
You Might Also Like These Articles:
24 Signs That You’re an INFP, the Dreamer Personality Type
Your INFP Personality Type and Your Enneagram Type
10 Things INFPs Need in a Relationship
Can Childhood Trauma Impact Your Personality Type?
I Hope This Was Helpful!
Each type can be healthy or unhealthy or somewhere in between! Do you have any input or experiences you’d like to share with other readers?
If you’d like help clarifying your type or diving deeper into your cognitive functions, you can book a one-on-one Zoom session with me here.
Find out more about your personality type in our eBooks, Discovering You: Unlocking the Power of Personality Type, The INFJ – Understanding the Mystic, and The INFP – Understanding the Dreamer. You can also connect with me via Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter!
I loved this article! Super helpful. Could you possibly write an article about the unhealthy ESFJ?? I know someone who I think is an ESFJ, but often times they act like what I would believe an unhealthy ESFJ would act like.
Absolutely! I’m planning to write an article to describe the different ways each type can be unhealthy. It may take me a while to get through all of them though 🙂
Distilling the essence of the deep
Hi Susan,
Please forgive the length of my post, but if I don’t share with someone who may understand me fully, I will literally burst. I’m sharing a few thoughts after dwelling on the writings of C.G. Jung in Psychological Types, John Beebe in Energies and Patterns in Psychological Type The reservoir of consciousness, Isabel Briggs Myers in Gifts Differing, David Keirsey in Please Understand Me II, Dario Nardi in Neuroscience of Personality, Naomi Quenk in Was That Really Me?, Paul Tieger in Do What You Are, and Marti Laney in The Introvert Advantage How to Survive in an Extrovert World along with massive amounts of Internet reading of which you are an increasingly important resource to me in how you relate to others so well in your personality articles. You resonate, girl! Keep up the good work. I will enjoy watching you mature in your thinking and writing.
I’m an almost 56 year old INFP who first took the MBTI not quite a year ago and have only recently understood everything as of a month or so ago. That’s another long story, and I have something far more important to share. I have spent 35 years working in an extroverted world as an inverted INFP, which means I have been masquerading as an ESTJ, a very negative ESTJ, since, cognitively speaking, I have been operating upside down for a long time, hurting myself, and definitely hurting others. Let me explain, please.
By the time we are two years old, we have already selected and begun practicing our dominant, or preferred, function. Because we prefer that particular function, we gravitate toward that function. Why? The lure of the proverbial carrot always leads us in that direction. How? Extroverts get a hit of dopamine by actively exercising their dominant function which produces adrenaline and ultimately dopamine, and introverts get a hit of acetylcholine by passively accessing their dominant function (See Laney, Ch 3.) Who? All of us are like drug addicts looking for their next fix, or happy hit. When? Once the two year old in us knows what feels good, we never stop trying to access or exercise our dominant function. It’s better than ice cream or candy! Where? Again, all of us will seek any environment in which we can access or exercise our dominant function; however, there is a problem, a major one.
As small children, we are introduced to a world that does not understand anything about what makes each of us individual and unique. After we try to interact in an environment that is not conducive to our dominant function and for which we are fully unprepared, we are prevented from accessing either dopamine or acetylcholine. Think about it. The extrovert is expected to sit still during class–no movement, no adrenaline, no dopamine–, and the introvert is expected to manage stimulatory overload–no solitude, no silence, no acetylcholine. Those who do not cooperate are compelled to comply. While we’re at it let’s ladle out labels for everyone and be sure to add extra helpings of helplessness, frustration, shame, fear, doubt, and insecurity along with a host of other ills.
It is my opinion this early in the game (and I am not alone–see all of the authors above and please include Marie-Louise von Franz along with a veritable host of all those seeking to heal those who are hurting) that the pain in this world is nothing more than a gross misunderstanding of the MBTI and the way we function cognitively. Carl Gustav Jung was right! He was right in the way that few people are. I am thankful that God had mercy on me (1 Timothy 1:12-16) and that I am one of those who recognize the significance and truth of the MBTI. Isabel Briggs Myers was certainly a believer. Where would we be without her devotion and brilliance in bringing the MBTI to the masses? As I read various comments and postings on the internet, I am confident that misunderstanding yet abounds.
Based on what I have stated above, how may we apply it? As we know, in order to enjoy a healthy and happy personality, our mental energy should be distributed in the following proportions to achieve cognitive balance:
Dominant – 70%
Auxiliary – 18%
Tertiary – 8%
Inferior – 4%
For me, as an INFP in a conscious 16-hour day after having rested 8 hours in blissful, restorative sleep, this translates to:
Fi – 10-½ hours
Ne – 3-½ hours
Si – 1-¼ hours
Te – ¾ hours
I hope you noticed that I should be introverting around 12 hours a day and extroverting around 4 hours per day (Extroverts, vice versa.) In the real world, my world, and your world, it may seem too lofty an ideal, merely a mirage or flight of fancy. But I am here to tell you that you can work toward achieving this. I’m trying to limit my extraversion at work to three hours, so I have an hour to take home to my wife. In order to pull this off, I have to find a hiding place to work in solitude, I have to get creative with my job description and duties, and I have to convince my superiors that I am actually doing something productive. Ultimately, the results will speak for themselves, and I get to use my natural, preferred strengths and enjoy what I do. No more masquerading as an upside down INFP-ESTJ imposter, an evil ESTJ, a chronically fatigued ESTJ, a highly unproductive ESTJ! Can you say, “Hello acetylcholine?” or “Hello dopamine?” Let’s get happy and count our blessings!!!
Christ said, And ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free (John 8:32 KJV.) The freedom to be yourself, your own individuated Self in Jungian thinking, the one God made in His own image, must reign supreme in this world if ever we are to break from the bondage of sin. Apart from knowing and obeying God, there is nothing more powerful in this world than knowing and being yourself. You cannot know God and you cannot know others until you know yourself. If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen? (1 John 4:20 KJV)
We cannot know ourselves or others until we understand the cognitive functions and way in which we use them. Only then can we love, respect, and appreciate one another the way God intended. When you find your true self, the negative will simply disappear, and the positive will take its rightful place of preeminence in your life. Imagine the difference when the pebble of positivity drops in the pond of purity, peace, and prosperity, and the new reality of recognition, respect, and rightness ripples out into the world around each and every one of us.
I just want you to know, you just changed my life and this was very helpful and constructive to my situation.
-anonymous INTJ learning to love an INFP
Please permit me to share what a healthy INFP is capable of feeling…. A small glimpse of the real me, and yes, I know pain, for I have spent many years embracing it, intimately ?
A Collector of Tears.
I am a Collector of Tears. So many have been shed! God has given me a love infinitely deep and pure so that my well of precious, healing tears might never run dry. Taste my tears and discover your own. Unburden your torn, aching heart and let it sing its siren song of wistful longing–and belonging. Do not be afraid. Come to me. Come to me and let them fall, one tender, inexpressibly silent drop at a time . . . .
Isn’t it wonderful to know a male INFP is taking on the world?
For he has a tear to soothe every sorrow, and more than enough love to fill the dry, lonely, unloved place we know as the heart with grace, acceptance, and healing.
In love and appreciation of the beauty that lies within us all,
Gilbert
This is beautiful! Thank you!
Gilbert, my ex was magical at generating and harvesting tears of mine. I’m glad that someone else is taking on this challenge, as mine were to feed a narcissistic reality, and only worked in his favor, and made him feel better. As for me, I’m smiling and laughing in joy now. Thank you.
I would love to read some posts about friendships between different types… specifically, I’m an ESFJ and my older sister/best friend is an INTJ, and it’s very challenging for me to understand how to be a good friend to her! I naturally want to help her with everything and make sure she doesn’t forget or mess anything up, but she bristles when I “tell her what to do”. I guess I’m challenged to find a way of being helpful other than helping with things… Anyway, I’d love to hear your opinion!
Could you help me on how to balance the functions and try to be a healthy infp?
I think the main thing is to try to focus on developing your dominant and auxiliary function the most, and then spend a little “play” time each day working on the tertiary and inferior function. This article might help! https://www.psychologyjunkie.com/2017/10/20/weak-spot-every-myers-briggs-personality-type-strengthen/
I think being aware of one’s own strengths and weaknesses is an amazing first step!
Female, 45. South Africa. According to all these tests I’ve been “playing” with, I too am INFP. An unhealthy one, at that. I have been diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder and have been on (and off) meds … for being … well, me. So these tests tell me.
I have been misunderstood, ( yes, and it is not a figment of my “over active imagination”, halucinations, over-sensitivity, bla bla bla.)Misunderstood. I am UNHAPPY. Deeply dissattisfied with me, .. the whole human race at large … trauma marked my life repeatedly. Suicidal ideation is becomming a constant. I have to actively divert my thinking towards my work, to get some of my work done. My mind runs in loops, ideas flood it, means to impliment positive progress is lacking. I can dream it up, but can’t seem to make it reality. …. Everything I read tonight paints the picture of ME. Not once in all of this, did anybody refer to bipolar disorder. You explained what I have and am experiencing since I can remember. And for just as long, I’ve been told that there is something wrong with me.
Can you imagine my reaction to all of this? I am angry beyond belief, relieved, surprised and … I have no words to express the rest of what I am feeling all at the same time. I want to thank you, smack you, hug you, cry at your feet and beat you … for changing my “reality,” which now seems to be the reality of others and not mine at all. I want book a year of classes as you the teacher tobteach me how to cope with “me”. Because I am told that I am “off”. And you tell me I can be fixed. I also want to delete this app abd try to forget I ever read any of this.
And now I am going to bed. at 00:28. to cry. for me and me and al the me’s I apparently have that I didn’t know about. It reads “me”, and it feels right, but it is scary . freekishly frightening and it is time to hide. Good night. Thank you.
Have a question this was helpful if you are the info but are there ways I can help my son whom is an infp and Asperger’s ? And just in general can you offer ways for others to help, with these articles about the various unhealthy types? Can’t wait to see the entp article and thanks so much!
I started to study my type a little more recently, but I just do not believe that I found an article that described with incredible accuracy all the problems I’m going through. The description is perfect, including the description of how I am seen by the people with whom I live most. Thank you for writing it.
Susan,
This site and your posts have been so helpful to me lately! Especially this one! Inferior Te has caused me to feel very stagnant and frustrated lately. I definitely feel stuck in a loop but maybe I have enough insight now to get out of it.
Thank you so much for putting this info out there! I’m so glad I found this site.
–m
What are some good cities for an INFP to go to school and live in?
I live in San Francisco and love it. Been here 3 yrs. It’s expensive but I got lucky. It’s such a beautiful city (if you can tolerate all the homelessness)
I’m a 49 year old male infp seeking effective guidance. I have relied on myself to figure things out up to this point and if you could only see where that has taken me! I went to a therapist once and felt it benefitted me in the sense that I “unloaded” a bit. I did not go back because the therapist did not seem to understand how to help me. Now that I have discovered I’m infp and having read your article, I would feel confident going to a therapist with knowledge of infps. Is there a way to find such people online or even better on location in my area that can perhaps help me? I want to whatever time I have left more enjoyable and less a struggle.
Thanks for any direction you may provide.
I am an INFP. What I have just read today is quite true especially for myself. I was wondering to myself if there are such theories about what I am. So I found this page. I somehow fit in as the unhealthy INFP. Things that I do or said, I may not realize it but no, actually I do know and its difficult to control. Most of the time I see myself as cold-hearted, feeling superior based on my past experiences, or knowing that I am capable of being extremely independent that I dismiss the help, opinions or suggestions from those who are close to me. I am like this person with split personality. I can be positive, daydreaming and smiling, being nice and kind and loving to people today and the next I shut people away harshly. I throw tantrums too and I can go extreme like disappear myself and the next day being calm or talking to someone without expressing any emtions. I see myself as confuse at times, angry on some days or “zombie-mode.” Either Im this or that. It depends on where I am or whom Im with or totally a different situation. I am ok when there’s nothing intrusive that trigger the hidden pandora box at the back of my mind or heart.
I have so many things to share but thats all I can summarized.
If you try to avoid those dark sides, try to dp Meditation and those activities. Also try to find people, who are very supportive, calming, not to critical (or just in a very objective manner like INTJ’s) and love you for who you are. That’s what helped me to get me thrpugh my dark periods and I feel quite happy know. 🙂
Try to do meditation and other calming activities and calming, supportive people, who are rather non-judging (or very objective in iz like INTJ’s), who best case really love you for who you are. 🙂
Wow! I relate to this behaviour so much. It feel like I am not a normal person and about the split personality, I felt the same way to. People find it hard to understand me and me on the other side doesn’t understand myself either.
Love this! My mom is an Infp and I am an Enfp. I would love to see an article about the unhealthy Enfp. Thanks!
I actually found the explanation to my behaviour and actions to a fair extent in this article.
Im an INFP type and the description of the unhealthy type explains a lot. I have found myself being that way unknowingly but still kind of knew deep down. I shut people that didn’t think like myself. I didn’t admit it until now but now I guess it’s important to address the problem too so yes I did think my ideology was right and I instantly closed the door at anything slightly out of my comfort zone. Being critical ,yes I do point out the faults a lot. I have been called out on being too critical but I only get more defensive and triggered by being called out.
I noticed I may act rude sometimes and get extremely calm and kind the next second. It also depended on who I’m talking to. I for a while thought I could have multiple personalities.
I want to understand others but not get out of my comfort zone too so that makes me even more frustrated in general.
I am an unhealthy INFP and I wish everyday that I was never born due to the incessant obnoxiousness of life
I guarantee you are a valuable part of this world! I hope that you find something that brings you joy and belonging soon!
Same. But I’ve noticed It’s been almost a year now since you posted your comment. I hope you’ve healed, man.
Jung never talks about a “Fi-Si” loop and the MBTI metrics never demonstrate this dynamic. If you want to know more about neuroses, and psychological disorders, study the DSMV which is empirical.
Problems with the past are not (Si) tertiary, inferior or “Demon”. It’s just more often the trend of depressive, schizoid, avoidant, or people with PTSD who are overrun with negative memories. That’s why people drink on their own, that kind of thing … Just more often introverted people.
It’s too easy to say it’s “(Si) or (Fi) in this position”. Because you can always argue that (Si) or (Fi) has a strong negative weight depending on its upper or lower positioning.
I don t think that the functions order is a rule, I once had the 8 functions order test ,
and Fi,Ne,Ti,Se are the top 4 functions
Is that possible anyway?
Really good article. Very well written and insightful. I certainly wouldn’t want to come across as the only person who sees truth because I know it isn’t true. As idealists we have to be cognizant of that and stray from arrogance and dogma.
You said,
“When INFPs repress Te too much, they can get stuck in a place of speculation and idea-generating without actually putting their visions to work in the real world and creating a course of action. They can get very frustrated because they see a perfect future and so many possibilities, but they don’t know how to make any of their ideas actually happen and they are afraid to decide and move forward. Really, this is a combination of unbalanced intuition as well as undeveloped extraverted thinking.”
This is where I am right now, and feel like I’ve been in this rut for a long time. My question is, How do I get out of it?
Eight functions are really practical? They’re very generalized, and I wonder on what basis they’re formed at all. Based on the techniques, I have to have personal values and personalized everything. While I’ve never personalized anything before (maybe a few small ones, but certainly everyone did at times) I really read once in an article that the fi function unfortunately can’t have a logical look at things. whereas I’ve always had a logical and emotional look at things. And the interesting thing is that healthy infp personality is exactly what I’m afraid of becoming. Actually, I totally accepted mbti, but when I met the functionals, I was quite confused, are they just pseudoscience? I don’t know if the fi function is scientifically correct. But I know fi is kind of selfish.
I am an INFP and my daughter is an INTP. We mostly have an excellent relationship. When we have a problem we become stuck. Neither of us know how to move forward. The problem/situation becomes the elephant in the room. What worsens our situation is she is an LMSW with othe distinctions, and I am an author. Which stays true to our types. How do we work our way out of these thorny spots? I would love to see you do an article in your blog on this type of clash.
I am writing a book about chronic pain and one of my chapters is about how different personalities deal with chronic pain. I would love your insights on this. I would be more than happy to reference your information in my book