10 Things You Should NEVER Say to an INTP
Sometimes you never see it coming. You’re in the middle of talking, you’re having a bad day, or you’re anxious and someone says a few words that slap you across the face. Your blood begins to boil, your heart rate increases or you realize you’re being severely misunderstood.
We’re all bothered by different statements and words more than others. In general, everyone hates hearing “calm down”, “relax,” or “you’re being too sensitive”. When I spoke with members of each personality type, across the board everyone hated those statements. Nobody wants to feel like they’re being irrational, regardless of their thinking or feeling preference. But what especially triggers the deep-thinking, analytical INTPs? Let’s take a look.
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“That’s Just The Way It Is”
If an INTP is questioning something or skeptical about a decision or rule they won’t rest until they’ve determined whether that rule or decision is rational. INTPs are natural skeptics and innovators, and are rarely happy with accepting anything as “just” the way it is.
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“Because I Said So”
INTPs don’t have an innate respect for authority. Â Respect must be earned, not automatically given based on rank or position. Telling an INTP “because I said so” is a sure way to invite dissent and bitterness.
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“Why Aren’t You Talking?”
Unless INTPs are engaged in a stimulating theoretical conversation they are rarely chatterboxes. They are analytical and keep many of their judgments and thoughts internalized. Being criticized or pestered into talking is a sure way to make them feel uncomfortable or irritated.
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“Did You Hear What (Random Friend) Did?”
Gossip about friends holds little to no interest for INTPs. People who spread rumors and share the details of other people’s lives tend to invite distrust and skepticism. They may be wary of forming relationships or friendships with these people.
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“Yes Or No, You Don’t Need To Explain”
INTPs aren’t quick to express yes or no judgments. They share their perceptions through Extraverted Intuition (Ne), but keep their judgments internalized. Telling them to oversimplify or leave out pertinent information is asking them to repress a natural part of their personality. It’s also just plain rude.
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“Hurry Up and Decide!”
INTPs despise being rushed into anything. They like to have time to explore their options and analyze situations fully. Being rushed into a decision, especially a long-term decision, can cause them a great deal of stress.
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“Hey, I Know You’re Reading, But…”
If you see an INTP reading, it’s best to be as quiet as possible and leave them to their book. Interrupting them for any reason, even if it’s a friendly question about said book, will frustrate them.
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“Why Didn’t You Notice My Haircut?”
INTPs aren’t especially concerned with superficial details in their environment. They’re more likely to be thinking about bigger-picture issues than whether or not someone got a haircut/lost weight/is wearing a new outfit.
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“Let’s Have a Heart-to-Heart Conversation”
INTPs enjoy having harmonious environments, but they don’t enjoy discussing their feelings unless they are really close to someone and instigate the conversation themselves. Being forced to talk about their feelings makes the INTP rely on their inferior Extraverted Feeling (Fe) function, which in turn can cause stress and discomfort.
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“Get Out Of Your Head!”
Asking any introvert to get out of their head is tantamount to asking a fish to breathe air. The nature of introversion is that you prefer the world “in your head” to the outer world.
All About INTPs
What Are Your Thoughts?
Any statements you’d like to add? Share your thoughts with other readers in the comments!
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I really hate when someone tries to tell me what I am feeling. I much prefer to figure it out for myself.
Helpful list I think but I must say that as an INTP I would prefer to have available a list for others of ten helpful things to say to an INTP, or ten things to ask an INTP.
Never give an INTP an ultimatum. It will not go in your favor.
True, you will lose everytime. No matter the consequence, INTP will do what you don’t want
“If you’re so smart, then what does [ ] mean?” A. I do not prove how smart I might be. If you spend enough time around me you can judge for yourself. B. I never told you I was smart. Likely, I surprised you with my knowledge of some obscure (to you) fact or concept and now you feel threatened. To compensate, you have now announced to me the most obscure fact or concept about which you think you have some knowledge, and you are challenging me to a battle of wits. I silently walk away. You lose.
I agree with how INTPs feel about these things… at the same time, you can’t go through life being irritated with people who are different and don’t understand you. It’s good for INTPs to get out of their heads and comfort zones to provide a balance. Being rigid and avoiding people who complicate your life is not realistic.
Do not, under any circonstance, even if it’s the case, question the judgement or the intelligence of an INTPs. Even if he is wrong, he will stop listening to anything that will comes after.
We are so convince that we have a lot judgement that if you question it, you will directly be mark as a person without judgement since your judgement on us is clearly wrong.
If you want to change an INTPs mind you must make him doubt by himself and convince him that he got the idea.
Even if it’s a kid and you are the parents, never say he judge badly. You can be sure that he’ll do exactly the inverse of what you said him.
My personal top 10:
– Hi.
– How are you?
– What’s up?
– How do you feel?
– Aren’t you cold/hot?
– Lets go out tonight.
– Have you lost/gained weight?
– Long time no see.
– Do you want to do something?
– What do you do?
Yeah, If someone asks me “Yes, or No” my answer is, “you forgot the third option… go fuck yourself.”