10 Things You Should NEVER Say to an INTP
Sometimes you never see it coming. You’re in the middle of talking, you’re having a bad day, or you’re anxious and someone says a few words that slap you across the face. Your blood begins to boil, your heart rate increases or you realize you’re being severely misunderstood.
We’re all bothered by different statements and words more than others. In general, everyone hates hearing “calm down”, “relax,” or “you’re being too sensitive”. When I spoke with members of each personality type, across the board everyone hated those statements. Nobody wants to feel like they’re being irrational, regardless of their thinking or feeling preference. But what especially triggers the deep-thinking, analytical INTPs? Let’s take a look.
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“That’s Just The Way It Is”
If an INTP is questioning something or skeptical about a decision or rule they won’t rest until they’ve determined whether that rule or decision is rational. INTPs are natural skeptics and innovators, and are rarely happy with accepting anything as “just” the way it is.
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“Because I Said So”
INTPs don’t have an innate respect for authority. Respect must be earned, not automatically given based on rank or position. Telling an INTP “because I said so” is a sure way to invite dissent and bitterness.
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“Why Aren’t You Talking?”
Unless INTPs are engaged in a stimulating theoretical conversation they are rarely chatterboxes. They are analytical and keep many of their judgments and thoughts internalized. Being criticized or pestered into talking is a sure way to make them feel uncomfortable or irritated.
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“Did You Hear What (Random Friend) Did?”
Gossip about friends holds little to no interest for INTPs. People who spread rumors and share the details of other people’s lives tend to invite distrust and skepticism. They may be wary of forming relationships or friendships with these people.
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“Yes Or No, You Don’t Need To Explain”
INTPs aren’t quick to express yes or no judgments. They share their perceptions through Extraverted Intuition (Ne), but keep their judgments internalized. Telling them to oversimplify or leave out pertinent information is asking them to repress a natural part of their personality. It’s also just plain rude.
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“Hurry Up and Decide!”
INTPs despise being rushed into anything. They like to have time to explore their options and analyze situations fully. Being rushed into a decision, especially a long-term decision, can cause them a great deal of stress.
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“Hey, I Know You’re Reading, But…”
If you see an INTP reading, it’s best to be as quiet as possible and leave them to their book. Interrupting them for any reason, even if it’s a friendly question about said book, will frustrate them.
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“Why Didn’t You Notice My Haircut?”
INTPs aren’t especially concerned with superficial details in their environment. They’re more likely to be thinking about bigger-picture issues than whether or not someone got a haircut/lost weight/is wearing a new outfit.
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“Let’s Have a Heart-to-Heart Conversation”
INTPs enjoy having harmonious environments, but they don’t enjoy discussing their feelings unless they are really close to someone and instigate the conversation themselves. Being forced to talk about their feelings makes the INTP rely on their inferior Extraverted Feeling (Fe) function, which in turn can cause stress and discomfort.
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“Get Out Of Your Head!”
Asking any introvert to get out of their head is tantamount to asking a fish to breathe air. The nature of introversion is that you prefer the world “in your head” to the outer world.
All About INTPs
What Are Your Thoughts?
Any statements you’d like to add? Share your thoughts with other readers in the comments!
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“Get out of your head” is literally the worst thing you can say to me, becuase I can’t get out of my head and I don’t like to. And I literally live inside my head.
Yes to almost all of this, and in particular Nos 1 and 5. Regarding 8. I do notice changes such as haircuts, but I very rarely feel like commenting on them because of all the small-talk involved. My powers of observation are seemingly variable: For instance, I noticed straight away that my boss had a hole in her cardigan, but failed to notice that a massive display board was missing. Maybe it’s because I wasn’t obliged to engage the massive display board in conversation.
Exactly this! I do tend to notice details about people I’m interacting with and if I think it will bolster good relations between me and the person, I might comment on it. Otherwise, I can’t be bothered. But inanimate objects normally in my environment that have been moved or replaced often escape my notice as well!
How about the “Are you serious about your schoolwork? Are you actually trying to learn the material at all?” Recently had a teacher scold me about that just cause I’ve been having trouble actually following the daily due dates for my classes. Usually have a couple days in between to break up studying, but not this semester. Also, one time, when I was in New York, a guy selling pizza in a store yelled at me that I needed to either choose a pizza slice or leave the store. I almost burst into tears.
As an INTP I hate it when people try to get me to socialize. Come to the party they say, you’ll meet some great people. We don’t want to meet people because they are all boring and stupid. I am far happier being alone with my own thoughts!
It’s so true about not noticing superficial details
My family and friends get really irritated with me and I really can’t help it
Did you see said persons shoes
Did you see my new washing machine (yip I’m dead serious)
For me I notice like how a person walks in or how they greet,facial expressions, body language
Reactions to what I say or to what someone else says