Refusing to be accountable for your actions because “that’s just how you are” is a major way to get on an ISTJ’s nerves. These types are all about personal responsibility, honesty, hard-work, and the willpower to do what needs to be done. See more things not to say here.
ISFJ – “I Don’t Need Your Help”
ISFJs are known as “the defenders”, and that’s because they’re skilled at taking care of the people they love. They are usually generous, compassionate, and devoted. Refusing their help, especially in an irritated way, can make them feel totally deflated and awkward. See more things not to say here.
ESTJ – “Forget the Facts, Follow Your Heart!”
To an ESTJ, the heart is a muscular organ that pumps blood through the circulatory system, NOT a decision-making tool. Emotional decision making is a major turn-off for these types, unless you’re dealing with a situation that is explicitly emotional (like a marriage proposal or the death of a loved one).
ESFJ – “You Try Too Hard”
ESFJs are known for being generous and considerate people. They care deeply about the needs and emotions of the people around them, but when people call them out as being too “people-pleasing” or suspect their intentions, it’s a major slap in the face. If you’re telling them they try too hard because you really want to give them a break, try to word it as “You need a break. Let me help you!” This will come across much better.
ISTP – “I Know What You’re Going to Say”
ISTPs aren’t long-winded people, and they take a lot of time to accurately form their sentences before speaking them out loud. Most of the time people don’t actually know what they’re going to say, and interrupting is a major turn-off for them. See more things not to say here.
ISFP – “I’ve Got You Figured Out”
ISFPs are incredibly private about their inner feelings and values, and they hate being labeled by anyone. Don’t say this phrase if you wish to be taken seriously at all!
ESTP – “It’s Time You Settled Down”
ESTPs are free-spirits who believe in adventure and being in control of their own destiny. This doesn’t mean they are disloyal; on the contrary, they are usually extremely loyal once they commit. But being forced to buckle down before they’re ready is a major stressor for them.
ESFP – “Don’t Take This Personally, But…”
Most of the time when people preface something by saying, “don’t take it personally” they’re about to get insulting or condescending. ESFPs unanimously hated this line when I spoke to them about things they hated to hear. Think hard about how you say things – if you must critique, is there a way you can do it with respect and empathy?
INTJ – “You Don’t Know What You’re Talking About”
INTJs are extremely analytical about what they say. They ponder, switch perspectives, look at different angles, and consider the logic carefully. You might want to be careful before assuming they don’t have a clue. See more things not to say here.
INFJ – “That’ll Never Happen”
The insights and predictions of the INFJ are often met with skepticism by other types. Because their premonitions are often the result of a “hunch” or because they are difficult to explain in concrete language, they are often met with doubt. This is usually a bad idea, because INFJ insights are often scarily accurate.
ENTJ – “You Can’t Do That!”
If there’s anything ENTJs hate the most, it’s being underestimated or limited. They are extremely goal-oriented, ambitious, and innovative. The more they hear they can’t do something (unless it’s seriously a moral issue), the more likely they are to do it just to prove the naysayers wrong.
ENFJ – “You’re So Selfish”
Telling an ENFJ they are selfish is tantamount to telling an ENTJ they’re too immersed in their feelings (a big no-no). ENFJs are wired to think about people outside themselves, to relate to, understand, and communicate effectively with them. Anyone can be selfish, but some people accuse the ENFJ of being selfish simply to get more out of them or to put them on a guilt trip. They know that these are the exact words that will hurt them the most because ENFJs obviously care about people and what they think of them. If you’re using this line to manipulate an ENFJ, think twice. It could cause very real harm. See more things not to say here.
INTP – “Because I Said So”
INTPs have very little respect for rank or people who choose to pull it. Respect must be earned, not automatically given based on a title or position. Telling an INTP this line is sure to bring you under their scrutiny and dissent. See more things not to say here.
INFP – “Stop Trying to Find a Deeper Meaning”
INFPs are programmed to find deeper meanings. They look for emotional resonance, authenticity, patterns, and connections between ideas that build to a holistic understanding of the universe. They truly enjoy finding deeper significance behind real-life scenarios, music, movies, and storylines. Taking the depth, the mystery, and the gravity away from things is unnatural to them. See more things not to say here.
ENTP – “This is Black and White. Stop Over-Analyzing It!”
Thanks to Extraverted Intuition and Introverted Thinking, ENTPs see everything from 100 different angles and perspectives. They also tend to question binary thinking and pre-established rules. Having to see things in black and white is limiting to them and being forced to do so goes against their very being.
ENFP – “You’re Perfectly Normal!”
If there’s anything ENFPs don’t want to be, it’s normal. These visionary, imaginative types thrive on being different, skeptical, and thinking outside the box. Telling them they’re fitting perfectly fine “in” the box is more insulting than comforting to them. See more things not to say here.
What Are Your Thoughts?
What phrases do YOU hate to hear? Let us know in the comments!
Find out more about your personality type in our eBook, Discovering You: Unlocking the Power of Personality Type.
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