INFJ Fears

10 Things That Terrify INFJs – According to 352 INFJs

Have you ever wondered if what frightens you is unusual or weird? Do you feel alone in your fears or worries? Many of us do, including me. I’ve wondered for a long time if personality type has anything to do with the kinds of fears we face as humans. Do different personality types fear different things? Are there any considerable differences or similarities? I decided to find out.

I scoured numerous online forums and Facebook groups and asked everyone I could about their fears. I wanted to make sure I had at least 300 responses before I wrote any blog posts on the subject. The first group of personalities to get to 300 responses were the INFJs. I’m thankful to each INFJ who contributed to this by talking to me about some of their most personal fears.

Not sure what your personality type is? Take our new personality questionnaire here. Or you can take the official MBTI® here.

What I Found Out

Each personality type had a unique set of fears, and there were definitely patterns and unique worries that were particular to type. While some fears were shared between types, there were definitely big differences in what people feared most. For example, NT types greatly feared mediocrity, while SJ types greatly feared uncertainty. And within those temperaments there were even more variations. This is just part one of a series on what truly frightens each of the 16 personality types. I found talking to all of the types extremely enlightening, and I hope these posts will help you to better understand your own fears and the fears of others.

DISCLAIMER:  Just because you’re an INFJ doesn’t mean you will automatically have these same fears. Your fears may be different, or you may have confronted a lot of your fears and be free of them by now. Don’t take offense if you don’t share these fears. This is just part one of a study on the 16 types and what the majority of them mentioned as their biggest fear.

Universal Fears

It was plain to see that certain fears were universal to all types; for example, spiders, bugs, and heights came up in every group regardless of type. So I’m not going to include those fears in these lists.

The Top 10 Things That Terrify INFJs

1. Humanity’s Potential for Evil

INFJs crave a world where equality, compassion, and freedom reign. When they are inundated by news of injustice, corruption, and cruelty they start to feel emotionally connected to all the pain around them. It can be difficult for them to detach from all the struggles that people encounter at the hands of others. It can feel impossible to focus or find their strong sense of vision and purpose when they know others are in pain or being treated unfairly. At the same time, many INFJs use their fear of evil to spur them towards speaking out against injustice. After all, Mahatma Gandhi and Mary Wollstonecraft were both INFJs who stood up for their beliefs and values.

2. Death or Loss of Children

child

While nearly every type mentioned loss of loved ones to some degree, INFJs were unique in that they specifically mentioned the loss of their children. While other groups mentioned “Losing someone in my family”, or “the loss of someone I love”, or “losing my spouse”, INFJs were the only ones who, by a majority, specifically mentioned the loss of children, and not a general loss of loved ones. INFJs are known for having very strong emotional bonds with their children, and for being very protective parents, so this may have something to do with the nature of their responses.

3. Phone Calls

phone

“Making phone calls scares me to no end.  I have to make scripts of what I will say, and I feel jittery and nervous the entire time. I hate it when there’s no way around making a phone call.”
– Sarah, an INFJ

More than 1/3 of the INFJs I spoke with mentioned phone calls as a serious cause of anxiety and worry. Whether it was making a phone call or receiving an unexpected phone call, they much preferred written correspondence to the phone; unless they were talking to a very close friend or family member.

4. Crowds

crowd

INFJs easily become overstimulated in large crowds of people. They tend to absorb the emotions of the people around them, and they also have inferior Extraverted Sensing (Se) which makes a lot of commotion especially difficult and strenuous for them. While this may be more of a stress-related fear than a cause of real terror, it certainly was mentioned a lot.

5. Ghosts

ghosts

While a few INFJs specifically mentioned not believing in ghosts, and others believed but weren’t afraid of them, there were still a considerable number that feared their existence quite strongly and even shared their experiences with me. Some INFJs believed that their strong Intuition and the ability to pick up on moods and emotions outside themselves made it possible for them to sense a spiritual or otherworldly presence.

6. Insanity

grip-stress

Insanity came up as a fear far more frequently among IN personality types (INFJs, INTJs, INFPs, INTPs). IN types have such strong imaginations and look so deeply into hidden meanings and connections that, for some, they feel that their faith in “reality”, may be a little more skeptical than what most people believe. It also could be that because IN types are so heavily immersed in their own thoughts and mental functions, they fear the loss of that far more than most people would consider. None of the other types I’ve spoken with have mentioned insanity as a fear at all. This doesn’t mean they aren’t afraid of it, but it wasn’t at the forefront of their minds when they were speaking of their fears.

7. Abandonment

abandonment

INFJs are notorious for having a difficult time trusting others. They read between the lines so fluently and look for hidden meanings so frequently that they take everything with a grain of salt, almost without realizing it. Because they are the smallest minority, making up only 1% of the population, they also tend to feel a little alienated throughout much of their lives. These factors can cause them to have difficulty trusting people, difficulty accepting love without restraint or apprehension, and difficulty feeling like they can be 100% themselves. Many INFJs, when speaking of their fears, cited fear of abandonment alongside a fear of opening up to others and allowing themselves to be loved unreservedly.

8. The Supernatural

shadows

Out of the ten types I’ve surveyed so far, INFJs mentioned fear of the supernatural far more than other types. INFJs are known for being very spiritual in nature, whether that spirituality is religious or personal. This may cause them to have a much stronger belief in the supernatural world. While INFJs tend to avoid a lot of superstitions, they have great respect for the unknown and what “could be”. Many said that they strive to be rational about everything, but that there is only so much that science can truly explain. Of course, there were several INFJs who piped up and said they weren’t afraid of or didn’t believe in the supernatural at all. So these fears will vary from person to person depending on their beliefs and background.

9. Their Own Imagination

imagination

INFJs have extremely rich and vivid imaginations. They spend a lot of time “in their heads” and a lot of time analyzing and predicting. However, sometimes their imaginations can get the best of them. Because INFJs have such strong Introverted Intuition (Ni), they form insights and future-oriented visions quite frequently. They put a lot of faith in these beliefs, ideas or “gut feelings”; almost more so than the faith they put into the sensory world. This can cause them, especially in childhood, to form very strong fears that have been formed by their imagination and their intuition that may not be particularly accurate. Even as adults, many INFJs struggle with taming their overactive imaginations.

10. Darkness

While many INFJs can enjoy stargazing or a night-time hike in the woods, they also mentioned a deep fear of dark spaces in their homes. Getting up in the night and using the bathroom might make their minds wander to all the things that could be lurking in dark corners or empty rooms of their homes. They tend to fill in dark spaces in their homes with terrifying ideas and images from their imagination.

What Do You Think?

Do these fears bother you or do you disagree? Share your thoughts with other readers in the comments!

Find out more about your personality type in our eBooks, Discovering You: Unlocking the Power of Personality Type,  The INFJ – Understanding the Mystic, and The INFP – Understanding the Dreamer. You can also connect with me via Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter!

Disclaimer: This article contains affiliate links. I only recommend products I truly believe in.

Did you enjoy this post? Then you’ll love these!

https://www.psychologyjunkie.com/2018/08/05/7-things-that-infjs-experience-as-children/

https://www.psychologyjunkie.com/2020/10/05/12-amazing-infj-fictional-characters/

https://www.psychologyjunkie.com/2020/08/12/12-awkward-moments-infjs-absolutely-hate/

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127 Comments

  1. I have only recently (a woman aged 74), when I started reading about being an INFJ, realized why I have always been different, and why I have always felt hated by everybody. To the extent that I have always hated myself and wished that I could be someone else. By trying to be someone else, of course, I made a mess of everything. .
    If only I had known that I am part of a group (however small) just like me, my life could perhaps have been so different, not filled with insecurities, loneliness, and feelings of inferiority.
    To make matters worse, I had a bad stutter since the day I learned to talk. For a female, a stutter is a big no-no: no friends as a child, no friends as an adult.
    One can be among many people and still be alone.
    This personality trait seems to run in families: my father, me, and my eldest of two sons.
    My sister once said to me that I have aura to pushes people away. I was so shocked and offended when she said that, but in hindsight, she was right.

    1. Wow, I can really relate to everything that you said. I just don’t know how to overcome it at 48.

  2. Ghost are my second weakness because of my imagination i can easily imagine a ghost without even thinking too hard. When i was a child i actually don’t believe in ghost or supernatural things, not until i saw not just one but three ghost myself. It was when i was still 5 or 6 years old, it was Halloween that time so we visit the cemetery where my beloved grandfather is buried, my family members were lighting candles for my grandfather. There was a playground there were kids were playing, i was bored so i ask my mom if i can play in the playground but she said no because she don’t want me to go there alone i ask my siblings and aunts to come with me but they were lazy and then i ask my mom again if i can go alone then she got really angry because there was no one in the playground, i thought she was trying to trick me so i can’t play in the playground because i can definitely see kids playing so i said to my mom, your lying i see two girls and one boy playing in the playground then i mother was completely shock cuz she can’t see anyone in the playground then she said no so desperately then i just gave up. Then one day my mom suddenly brought me to a shaman and i got confuse, the shaman put his hand in my head and mumble then suddenly pour water on a cup and put something in there and gave it to me, he said to me drink the water in one go so i did what he said then he said to my mother that my third eye was open he said that what i saw on the playground were not humans but dead poeple i got scared and that how i started believing in ghost and supernatural things and that is also the reason why darkness became my biggest fear. And this is true

  3. I struggle a lot with kidnapped children,and people disappearing in general. I don’t even want to think about it because I start to create situations imagining their suffering to the point I feel it in my body . I can’t stand watching movies with these themes cause I keep on thinking it might be happening for real. Also phone calls It’s hard specially to doctors offices. I wait months thinking about appointments I need but I never make the calls until it’s extremely necessary.Crowded places like the mall. I plan ahead , I would read the map so I know where stores are located in order to rush out and get out of there.

    M

  4. All are true..
    I agree with the comments in here too. I feel quite relieved knowing I am not actually alone. As an infj, I always feel like an outsider, not accepted or welcome in any group. I just do not fit in anywhere I go, like an alien. I find it so hard to make connections with people. Cause I’m a person that craves for a deep and genuine connection. Yes I got to meet some good friends, however I still feel detach and lonely at some times. Maybe because I feel that no one understands me, cause I view the world differently. I also tend to shut people out even though I don’t intend it. I also developed a serious trust issue overtime. But after meeting this friend of mine, I realize that we just have to wait until we are with the right people.

    Aside from that, I have this acute sensitivity. Its like I’m hyper sensing things; I could read my surrounding so well, as well as people’s intention. I also tend to predict scenarios that will happen. However, I hate how it makes me drown with negative thoughts sometimes. In connection to that, I could also see ghosts as a child. At my childhood, I always see shadows passing by, at our old house. I knew I wasn’t seeing things ’cause our house was really haunted back then, after getting some consensus of my relatives. Up to now, I could still see some, at some place.

    Generally, I am scared of people’s judgement, cruelty., as well as injustice and unfairness. I am not that scared of ghosts, but it is still unsettling. I might appear cold but I could offer all my love to people whom I trust, however constantly feeling pain and keeping them inside makes me so fragile. As I age, I tend to hate myself more, but I will love myself from now on, since I’m the only one who understands me truly afterall.
    To all infj’s like me, I wish you all the healing and warmth. Stay strong out there rare unicorns~

  5. No I don’t agree with this, yes we are very sensitive. And because we are few there is not much info about us. Don’t let yourself be pushed in this scary corner we can be very strong and can overcome everything if we want to. It is not we, that need to be scared it’s them that are scared of us because what we can do if we want to good or bad remember Jesus was an INFJ but so was Hitler.P.S. Choose the good side because you are being watched 🙂

  6. I fear having to work closely with people who don’t understand my personality type (particularly those with ES types).

    I just CAN’T concentrate on getting anything done and planning things out in my mind when these types are being overbearing or micromanaging.

    What’s worse is I like harmony and smoothing things over, so rather than outwardly rejecting the behaviour of such types, I go on battling away in a state of stress.

    Just started a new job and it’s happening…. probably the worst I’ve experienced (at 39 years old).

  7. It’s so good to know that there are others who feel like I do. This whole article I could relate to.

  8. The part about phone calls causing anxiety is so true. I’ve worked for over 20 years in a call center. The only thing that has helped in the beginning of each project and nearly every day is the script we have to follow and the things we have to say & do at each step on a call. On every call I keep a mental checklist not only to make sure I pass the quality evaluations but so that I’m comfortable on a call. Planned outbound calls outside of work require a mental script before calling.

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