Have you ever found yourself in a conversation with someone and inadvertently said something that made them squirm or get insulted? Today we’re looking at the ESTP personality type and ten things they detest hearing. If you’re trying to foster a friendship with this type, avoid saying these ten things!
Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
10 Things You Should Never Say to an ESTP
#1 – “You Can’t Do That”
ESTPs love to take risks and try new things. If you tell them that they can’t do something, then they will probably want to prove you wrong! They value their freedom and aren’t afraid of challenges, so limits can be the kiss of death in a relationship with them. Obviously, there are times when everyone needs to be told “No,” and ESTPs certainly can respect other people’s wishes in that regard. However, being told their ambitions are unachievable or their methods aren’t the “correct” ones is more what we’re referring to here.
#2 – “What’s Your 10-Year Plan?”
ESTPs do their best thinking when they’re living in the moment and staying focused on what’s relevant now. Hypothesizing about the future can feel like an exercise in futility to them. They would rather skip the process of creating a 10-year plan and just go out there and accomplish something! Improvising, being flexible, and winging it are their preferred ways of living life.
#3 – “They’re/You’re Toxic”
It’s not that ESTPs don’t believe in bad energy or that people do evil things. They just dislike the lack of discrimination by people using the term “toxic.” ESTPs find that people throw this term around too freely, applying it to anyone who doesn’t please them or cater to them in some way.
#4 – “I know I’ve been MIA on social media, I had to take a break”
As realists, ESTPs know that most people aren’t thinking about them on a 24/7 basis. So when someone randomly posts something like this on social media, their initial thought is going to be something like, “Do you really think we were all obsessing over you? We didn’t even realize you were gone.”
#5 – “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best”
Um….this is just a pointless blanket statement that excuses any form of bad behavior and/or incompetence. ESTPs I spoke to think it sounds unrealistic and pompous.
#6 – “You need to take life more seriously.”
Usually when people say this, they’re implying that “serious” means “less fun.” While ESTPs know that life demands a bit of boredom and hard work, they’re determined to approach life with a spirit of adventure, humor, and flexibility.
#7 – “I trust my heart above all else.”
ESTPs are extremely down-to-earth types. They trust facts, experiences, and logic over a warm fuzzy feeling. ESTPs dislike cliches and find the whole “follow your heart” suggestion a bit flaky and sappy.
#8 – “I’ve come up with a schedule for our/your ____”
Oh no! The dreaded schedule. If you’re friends with an ESTP, just be sure they actually want your help with a schedule before you box them into anything. ESTPs are extremely independent and prefer to manage their own time without intervention. They will not appreciate you telling them what to do with their time, unless you’re their employer and it’s literally your job to tell them what to do with it.
#9 – “I could care less”
This is just poor grammar and really says absolutely nothing. Because ESTPs use a mental process called Introverted Thinking, they tend to value precision with words. Phrases that are logically flawed like this one tend to make them cringe. They may still be friends with you if you say something like this, but their opinion of your intelligence will probably lessen.
#10 – “Whatever.”
Passive-aggressiveness is something that ESTPs tend to avoid like the plague. If you have a problem with them, it’s better to just come right out and say it directly rather than give them the silent treatment or a response like this that really says nothing while asking for attention or an apology of some kind.
What Are Your Thoughts?
Did you enjoy this article? Are there any words or phrases you absolutely hate hearing? Let us (and other readers) know in the comments!
Find out more about your personality type in our eBooks, Discovering You: Unlocking the Power of Personality Type, The INFJ – Understanding the Mystic, The INTJ – Understanding the Strategist, and The INFP – Understanding the Dreamer. You can also connect with me via Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter!