The Struggles Women Face in Friendships, Based On Their Myers-Briggs® Personality Types

As an INTJ woman, I have often experienced uncertainty and intimidation when it comes to the realm of female friendships. While I do know some other NT women who do not face the same struggle, I have noticed that many others do encounter similar challenges. Building and maintaining friendships can be challenging, particularly as an adult, and each personality type faces their own unique hurdles. For instance, an ENFJ may find themselves pulled in multiple directions by the diverse needs of their friends, while an INTP might feel overwhelmed by social expectations that they struggle to fully comprehend.

What is your friendship struggle?

What do you love and hate about friendship?

That’s what we’re exploring in today’s article. And hopefully you’ll come away from this article feeling a little less alone.

Let’s get started!

The Struggles Women Face in Friendship, Based On Their Myers-Briggs® Personality Type

The ISTJ Woman

ISTJ women are the definition of steady and loyal. They’re not out here trying to have a hundred surface-level friendships—they’d rather stick with a few people they can actually trust. But stepping into “girl world”—all the mirroring, endless laughter, and constant emotional check-ins—can feel a little strange to them. With their serious, no-nonsense demeanor and straight-to-the-point communication, ISTJ women can sometimes come across as less emotionally supportive than they really are.

The truth is, they are supportive—they just show it differently. Instead of showering you with pep talks or “you got this, girl!” affirmations, they’ll quietly roll up their sleeves and help you fix what’s actually wrong. They’re the friends who notice the leaky faucet and grab a wrench while everyone else is still passing around tissues. Their way of caring is practical, grounded, and built to last.

Underneath that calm, serious surface is a whole lot of love and compassion. ISTJ women pay attention. They think carefully about what you really need and then offer the kind of advice or help that actually solves the problem. A hug is nice, but a long-term solution? That’s their love language.

So if an ISTJ woman gives you blunt, straightforward advice, don’t mistake it for coldness. That’s her way of showing up for you—steady, loyal, and focused on making your life better in ways that will last long after the pep talk fades.

Find out more about ISTJs: 12 Amazing Fictional ISTJ Characters

The ISFJ Woman

ISFJ women are the quiet rock in the room. Loyal, dependable, and caring to the core, they’re not chasing popularity or drama. What they want is a small circle of people they can genuinely trust—friends who feel more like family. Most ISFJ women I know only want a few kindred spirits; really close friends that they can share everything with. And when they find them, ISFJ women show up fully. They’ll remember the little details, check in when you’re struggling, and stick around when everyone else drifts off.

The challenge? Putting themselves out there in the first place. ISFJ women can be shy in new social settings, and loud, high-energy gatherings often leave them drained. They’d much rather connect one-on-one or in a smaller group where the conversation actually means something. And because they crave loyalty and depth, they can feel discouraged when most adult friendships end up skimming the surface.

They also don’t always vibe with the “girl world” dynamics of competition, gossip, or performative support. ISFJ women are less interested in flashy connections and more interested in friendships where people actually care. But in a culture that often celebrates the loudest voices, their quieter kind of loyalty can get overlooked—or worse, taken for granted.

Discover more about ISFJs: A Look at the ISFJ Leader

The INTJ Woman

INTJ women often get labeled as “intimidating” before they’ve even opened their mouths. Analytical, independent, ambitious, they carry an air of focus that can make them seem unapproachable. But behind that serious exterior is someone who actually craves meaningful, lasting connections. It just doesn’t always look like it from the outside.

Part of the challenge is emotional dynamics. INTJ women are great at problem-solving, spotting patterns, and cutting to the heart of a situation. But when a friend shares a struggle, their instinct is often to troubleshoot instead of emote. They’ll offer solutions instead of sympathy, logic instead of a hug. And while that’s their way of caring, it can get misread as being cold or even “know-it-all.” The truth? INTJ women are deeply empathetic, they just want to help in the most efficient way possible.

As introverts, they also need a lot of alone time to recharge. And not just a quick nap kind of recharge, they often need hours or even days to fully reset. To friends, that can look like neglect or disinterest, when really, the INTJ woman is just making sure she has the energy to show up fully later. And if she’s been burned in friendships before, her independence can turn into self-protection. Better to go it alone than risk shallow or unreliable connections.

And then, of course, there’s the infamous “resting INTJ face.” Many INTJ women look unapproachable simply because they forget to put on a smile while their brain is busy analyzing. They may be completely engaged in a conversation while their face looks like they’re plotting your demise. (Speaking as an INTJ myself, I’ve been told I look “too serious” even in moments where I was genuinely enjoying myself.) Other types often don’t realize how much of a social advantage it is to have warm expressions come naturally. For INTJ women, looking approachable can take actual practice, and while it pays off, it can feel unfair that they have to work at something that others seem to do effortlessly.

At the end of the day, INTJ women want the same thing as everyone else: real friendships where they can be understood and accepted. They just might have to work a little harder to convince people that behind the serious face is someone who actually cares deeply.

Discover more about INTJs: The Childhood Struggles of INTJs

The INFJ Woman

INFJ women are often described as “old souls” or mystical sages, the kind of people who seem like they’ve lived a few lifetimes already. Insightful, intuitive, deeply empathetic, they stand out in a world that often skims the surface. But beneath that mysterious vibe is someone who’s just trying to find a place where she feels like she belongs.

What INFJ women want most are conversations with depth. They don’t care much about small talk or the play-by-play of someone’s weekend, they want to connect on the big stuff. Ideas, meaning, feelings, the why behind everything. The problem? Not everyone wants to go there. Some people are perfectly content chatting about the weather or the latest TV show, and INFJs can start to feel like aliens for wanting more. Their abstract or “out there” ideas can get brushed off, which leaves them holding back and keeping a lot of their inner world private.

Then there’s the issue of social burnout. As introverts, INFJ women need a lot of alone time to recharge, but because they also care deeply about their friendships, this can get messy. To them, stepping back is self-care. To others, it looks like ghosting. Cue the misunderstandings, the hurt feelings, the accusations of being distant when really, they’re just trying to get their energy back. Learning to explain this need up front—and not apologizing for it—can make a huge difference.

INFJ women also wrestle with perfectionism in their friendships. They want to be the best friend possible, always tuned in, always supportive, always doing the right thing. But that pressure can leave them stressed, overwhelmed, and exhausted. The truth? “Good enough” really is good enough. INFJ women don’t need to sacrifice themselves to prove their loyalty.

At their best, they’re deeply loyal, intuitive friends who can make you feel completely understood. But they also need permission—sometimes from others, sometimes from themselves—to rest, recharge, and be human instead of perfect.

Find out more about INFJs: 12 Amazing Fictional INFJ Characters

The ESTJ Woman

When I think of ESTJ women I’ve worked with, the first word that comes to mind is “rock.” They’re the pragmatic organizers of their groups, the ones making sure everything actually happens, and happens on time. Efficient, reliable, outspoken; they’re the kind of friends who will get you where you need to go, even if they have to drag you there. But here’s the thing I’ve noticed: underneath all that confidence and get-it-done energy, there’s often a woman who feels far more vulnerable than she lets on.

ESTJ women usually have a lot on their plate. Between work, family, and their own ambitious goals, they’re constantly juggling logistics. I’ve had ESTJ clients laugh and tell me they “accidentally” end up running every committee, every church group, every girls’ night out. And while they’re really good at it, it can leave them drained. Sometimes they get so caught up in doing, fixing, and organizing that they forget to check in with themselves including what they want, how they’re feeling.

One thing I hear a lot from ESTJ women is frustration at being called “bossy” or “too much.” Their direct, take-charge attitude is applauded in the workplace or among men, but in all-female circles it can rub people the wrong way. There’s this unspoken expectation that women should soften everything, add extra layers of warmth and emotional cushioning. But ESTJs? They’re going to tell you the truth straight. After all, their way of supporting a friend is often through practical advice, problem-solving, or logical input. For them, fixing the actual issue is an act of care.

But here’s the vulnerable side that often gets hidden: ESTJ women have bad days, too. They struggle, they feel overwhelmed, they sometimes wonder if they’re failing at the very “strong, in-control” image they’ve built. Talking about that and admitting weakness can feel terrifying to them. Like it’s breaking their own code. And yet, when ESTJ women do let that guard down, I’ve seen it transform their friendships. Suddenly people feel closer to them, not intimidated by them.

So if you’re an ESTJ woman reading this, here’s what I’d tell you (and what I’ve told my clients): your strength is incredible, but your vulnerability is just as valuable. You don’t have to have it all figured out, and letting your friends see that part of you doesn’t make you weak, it makes your connections deeper and more real.

The ENTJ Woman

Whenever I work with ENTJ women, I’m struck by how much confidence and determination they seem to portray. You see it in how they carry themselves, how they speak, how they organize their lives. But one thing I’ve heard over and over again from ENTJ women is that as much as they dominate in their careers, friendships can feel like trickier territory. It’s not because they don’t want them, but their intensity and directness can clash with the expectations of some friend groups, especially all-female ones.

ENTJ women are straight shooters. They’ll tell you exactly what they think, without layering on a dozen disclaimers or softeners. They don’t play games, and they expect that same honesty in return. But many women are conditioned to value diplomacy, tact, and emotional cushioning in friendships. So when an ENTJ says something bluntly, even from a place of care, it can sting. I’ve had ENTJ clients tell me they feel like they’re constantly walking on eggshells, worried their honesty will be taken the wrong way. And that’s exhausting for them. Of course, other ENTJ women I’ve talked to don’t even bother with all that. They just keep the friends who “get” them and don’t worry about the rest.

They’re also insatiably curious. ENTJ women love diving into big conversations about strategy, philosophy, or the messy complexities of life. They want friends who can spar with them intellectually, who don’t flinch when they ask the hard questions. But not everyone wants to go there; some people just want to relax and chat about day-to-day things. That mismatch can leave ENTJ women feeling restless or, frankly, bored in friendships.

And then there’s the time factor. ENTJs are driven. They’re often balancing careers, personal projects, family responsibilities—you name it. Friendships are important to them, but carving out space for them can feel like yet another item on an already packed to-do list. Some ENTJ women even tell me they feel guilty when they take time away from their work to just “hang out,” as if they need to justify their existence outside of their professional achievements.

But here’s the thing: real friendships aren’t about being productive or proving your worth. They’re about being seen for who you are beyond the work and the leadership and the to-do lists. ENTJ women have so much to offer in relationships: loyalty, honesty, insight, and drive. The challenge is letting themselves show up fully, without worrying that they need to soften who they are or prove their value to deserve a place at the table.

Discover more about the ENTJ: 10 Things You Should Never Say to an ENTJ

The ESFJ Woman

Alright, let’s talk about the type that tends to have some of the most friends (in my experience). The ESFJ is warm, generous with her time, and usually the one making sure everyone else is fed, cared for, and included. Most people with an ESFJ friend will tell you they feel lucky—she’s often the go-to for advice, support, and comfort. But like all types, ESFJ women have their own struggles when it comes to friendships, and I’ve seen those show up again and again in my work with them.

The biggest hurdle? Saying no. ESFJ women are so tuned in to other people’s needs that they often forget about their own. I’ve worked with ESFJs who laugh about how their calendar is jam-packed with everyone else’s obligations—volunteering for church, helping a neighbor move, taking on extra projects at work, organizing the group trip—while their own needs are nowhere on the list. And while they mean well, over time this leads to burnout, resentment, and exhaustion. It’s hard to be the “glue” when you’ve stretched yourself so thin you’re cracking.

Another challenge is that ESFJ women can get so busy taking care of everyone else that they stop checking in with themselves. I’ve had clients say they only realized how exhausted or unhappy they were when their body finally forced them to stop. ESFJs have to work hard to balance their natural love of social connection with quiet reflection and grounding routines. Without that balance, they end up drained and disconnected from their own feelings.

And then there’s the caretaker instinct. ESFJ women often feel like they’re personally responsible for the happiness of their friends. They’ll go above and beyond to try and fix everyone’s problems. But here’s the truth I often remind them of: your friends’ happiness is their job, not yours. Support and comfort are wonderful, but when you start trying to manage everyone’s emotional state, you’re carrying a burden no one can (or should) carry alone.

At their best, ESFJ women are incredible friends: loyal, attentive, and full of heart. But they’re truly happiest when they remember that their needs matter too, and that sometimes the most loving thing they can do is step back, rest, and let other people take care of themselves.

Find out more about ESFJs: A Look at the ESFJ Leader

The ENFJ Woman

ENFJ women are natural visionaries with an almost uncanny ability to see people’s potential. They’re passionate, caring, and almost weirdly attuned to the emotions and motivations of others. In friendships, this often makes them a powerful presence: the friend you can cry to at 2 a.m., the one who remembers your dreams and pushes you toward them, the one who makes you feel seen in ways other people don’t. But being that person comes with its own challenges, and I’ve heard them voiced by so many ENFJ women I’ve worked with.

One of the biggest struggles is remembering to take care of themselves first. ENFJ women are so focused on making sure everyone else is okay that they’ll ignore their own needs until they’re running on fumes. I’ve had ENFJs tell me they didn’t even realize they were burned out until they actually got physically sick. And because they naturally absorb the emotions of others, the weight can get especially heavy—what I sometimes call “empathy burnout.”

Another challenge I see often is their hunger for depth. ENFJ women want conversations that go somewhere: discussions about purpose, values, big-picture ideas, world-changing possibilities. But not everyone is built for that level of intensity. A lot of social circles stay focused on surface-level topics; daily updates, gossip, lighter fare, and while that can be fun in doses, ENFJs often feel a little out of place when nobody else seems interested in going deeper.

And then there’s their tendency to overextend. ENFJs have a hard time saying no, especially when it comes to people they care about. They want to show up for everyone, meet every need, smooth over every conflict. But when they spread themselves too thin, resentment and exhaustion eventually creep in. I always remind ENFJ women: you’re allowed to prioritize your own needs, too. In fact, you have to. Because when you’re depleted, you can’t give anyone the love and insight you’re so naturally wired to offer.

At their best, ENFJ women are inspiring, empathetic, and deeply loyal friends. But they shine brightest when they remember that their needs matter just as much as everyone else’s.

The ISTP Woman

The ISTP woman is an independent spirit with a curiosity that knows no bounds. She loves to experience new things and take on challenges, but her autonomous nature can sometimes come into conflict with her simultaneous desire for friendships.

ISTP women are fiercely independent and often enjoy solitude more than socializing. This can be a challenge when it comes to forming strong friendships and keeping them alive. They may find it difficult to connect with people on a deep level, as they tend to be more focused on understanding how things work than dishing on their emotions or relationships. They also can struggle to articulate their feelings, so they may feel overwhelmed if they’re surrounded by women who are being emotional or expressing their feelings and expecting everyone else to do the same.

ISTP women are also known to be direct and honest, which can come off as blunt or insensitive at times. They are likely to show support through offering a fun experience, troubleshooting the problem, or trying to get the facts in a situation. This can seem too impersonal in many female circles, where the only answer to every problem seems to be “validation” and empathy.

Another thing I’ve seen is that ISTP women may struggle with forming meaningful connections with others due to their introverted nature. They need plenty of alone time to recharge, think, and tinker with their own independent hobbies. And going to crowded, social events is usually the last thing an ISTP woman wants to do (as an INTJ woman, I can relate).

If you’re an ISTP woman reading this, it’s important to remember that your independent nature is one of your greatest strengths. Don’t be afraid to spend time alone and explore new things – it will give you a better understanding of yourself and what you want out of relationships. And when you’re seeking out friendships, find people who have similar interests so you can geek out to your hearts’ content. Join a hiking group, a book club, or a gaming club – anything that allows you to explore your passions and make meaningful connections. And even though it feels vulnerable and scary sometimes to share your feelings, try it out a little at a time. The more you share your feeling side, the easier it will become and the more people will feel like they’re getting to know you intimately and deeply.

Explore more about ISTPs: What ISTPs Do When They’re Really Stressed Out

The INTP Woman

INTP women are analytical and creative thinkers who love to tackle complex problems. They are constantly gathering new information, coming up with thoughtful questions and ideas, and exploring different perspectives. But they can also be uncertain, shy, and private – all qualities that can create roadblocks for them when they’re trying to make friends.

Contrary to popular opinion, INTPs do enjoy talking, but specifically about their areas of interest. If they go birdwatching, they probably know everything about the species of birds in their region. If they are interested in physics, they can go on for hours about the theories and implications of quantum mechanics. Yet they know that these areas of interests can sometimes result in a “checked out” expression on a potential friend’s face. So they tend to keep a lot of their thoughts inside, unless given an open invitation. Creating rapport, smiling warmly in response to what someone is saying, and creating friendly chit-chat is a lot more challenging for INTPs than jumping right into the deep end of a theory or intellectual topic.

INTP women can also easily feel rejected and overwhelmed in social situations. Many times they want to find good friends, but inserting themselves into an established group can be intimidating and exhausting. And INTPs tend to feel a bit uncertain about how they appear to others, worried that they’re doing it “wrong” and thus interpreting small signs (someone turning away, or laughing with someone else) as a sign that they don’t fit in or are being rejected.

INTPs should remember that it’s okay to move at their own pace when it comes to friendships. They may find it helpful to start small, like joining a club or group activity that has shared interests. Once they feel comfortable, INTPs can gradually introduce themselves more and open up further. And when they feel insecure, remind themselves that they are just as deserving of friendships as anyone else and that someone will appreciate their curiosity, intellectual prowess, and creativity.

Discover more about INTPs: The Childhood Struggles of INTPs

The ISFP Woman

ISFPs are the ones who would rather have two or three soul-level friendships than a huge crowd of acquaintances. When you do get close to an ISFP woman, you quickly see how warm and supportive she can be—but getting to that point isn’t always easy, and I’ve seen many ISFP clients wrestle with this.

One of the biggest hurdles is trust. ISFP women don’t open up to just anyone. They need to feel safe before they’ll share their inner world, and that can make starting new friendships intimidating. Add in their natural tendency to hang back and observe rather than push themselves into the spotlight, and sometimes it feels like they’re just waiting for someone else to make the first move.

Another thing I hear a lot is how easily they get misread. Many women naturally mirror each other’s facial expressions and emotions in social settings; it’s part of how female bonding often works. ISFP women? Not so much. They tend to look thoughtful and reserved, even when they’re feeling warm and connected on the inside. Isabel Briggs-Myers once said that introverted feeling types wear their warmth on the inside, like a fur-lined coat. For ISFPs, their feelings are deep and real, but they don’t always show up on their faces. And because of that, people sometimes assume they’re aloof or uninterested, when really, they’re just not broadcasting their emotions for the whole world to see.

Autonomy is another big need. ISFP women can get overwhelmed by friendships that demand constant texting, calling, or social activity. They love their friends, but they also need space to breathe, create, and recharge. I often encourage ISFPs to be upfront about this: let your friends know that if you don’t respond right away or if you skip an event, it’s not because you don’t care. It’s just how you’re wired. True friends will get it, and often even appreciate the honesty.

At their best, ISFP women are authentic, loyal, and quietly inspiring. They’re happiest when they can have friendships that honor their depth, respect their independence, and don’t demand them to be someone they’re not.

Find out more about ISFPs: ISFPs, INFPs and Empathic Mirroring

The INFP Woman

INFPs are idealistic, curious, and creative. If you’re an INFP, you probably know what I mean when I say you often live with one foot in reality and the other in some imagined world where things make sense. You dream of changing the world, or at least making your corner of it kinder, gentler, more beautiful. You’ve got strong values, strong ethics, and you actually want your friendships to reflect those things.

But here’s where things get tricky. A lot of INFP women tell me they feel like misfits in today’s world. You sit down at a table, and the conversation is about celebrity gossip or who bought what at Target, and you can’t help but feel like your soul just left your body. It feels shallow. You want to talk about meaning, conscience, imagination, and instead you’re stuck nodding about somebody’s cousin’s engagement photos. That mismatch can make you feel lonely, like the world doesn’t have space for the kind of connection you crave.

INFPs often dream of finding a “kindred spirit.” You know, that Anne of Green Gables level of instant, soul-deep connection. The problem? Friendships don’t usually start that way. They start with small talk, which (sometimes) for INFPs feels about as natural as juggling chainsaws. Many INFP women retreat too soon, deciding, “Nope, this isn’t my person,” before giving the friendship a chance to grow roots. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen INFP clients roll their eyes at the idea of chit-chat, only to later realize that a friendship had been blossoming under their nose, they just had to wait it out.

And then there’s the initiative piece. INFP women love their solitude. You can happily spend hours lost in thought, writing, drawing, or just daydreaming. That’s a gift. But if you’re not careful, solitude can tip into isolation. Weeks go by, and suddenly you realize you miss people, but you haven’t actually reached out to anyone in ages. The loneliness sneaks up on you.

Here’s what I remind INFP women: your emotional depth and creativity are assets in friendship. Yes, it’s okay to take things slow, to wait for the right people, and to protect your energy. But don’t give up too quickly just because someone doesn’t “click” right away. Friendships take time, and I know this sounds cliche, but I’ll use the metaphor anyway. Friendships are like flowers, they need space and patience to bloom. And please don’t hide your quirks. If you’re goofy, poetic, a little weird, own it. The right people will find it delightful. The wrong people? They weren’t your people anyway.

There are kindred spirits out there for you. The trick is giving friendships enough space to reveal themselves and trusting that your authenticity is the fastest way to find the ones who are truly meant for you.

Find out more about INFPs: 24 Signs That You’re an INFP, the Dreamer Personality Type

The ESTP Woman

The ESTP woman is a daring individual who loves variety and excitement. In friendships, they’re often the ones saying, “Okay, enough sitting around—let’s actually do something.” They’re action-oriented, adaptable, and quick to read a room. But, as I’ve seen with many ESTP women I’ve worked with, those same strengths can sometimes create friction in the world of female friendships.

For starters, there’s the bluntness factor. ESTP women don’t like beating around the bush, and they’re not interested in endless rounds of small talk. They’d rather get straight to the point, tell it like it is, and move on to something more interesting. While they can absolutely read social cues, they also get bored with conversations that feel repetitive or stagnant. I’ve had ESTP clients tell me how draining it is to be stuck in friendships where “hanging out” means hours of just sitting and chatting. For them, the best kind of friendship is one where you can do something together—whether that’s hiking, playing a game, or building Ikea furniture at midnight—while talking along the way.

Another common challenge is their love of radical honesty. ESTP women are wired to spot inconsistencies and call them out; sometimes with humor, sometimes in debate, sometimes with a quick quip that hits a little harder than they meant it to. As kids, many were told to tone it down, “zip their lips,” or be more tactful. Over time, that conditioning can leave them feeling misunderstood, like they have to hide a core part of themselves. So instead, they often tuck their truth-telling into humor. And while some friends love that witty, sharp honesty, others can take offense. I’ve heard ESTPs say, “I was just joking. Why are they so sensitive?” It’s not that they’re uncaring; they just don’t fully get why people take things so personally.

Here’s what I remind ESTP women: your boldness, wit, and adventurous streak are strengths, not weaknesses. Yes, not everyone will vibe with your direct style, but the right friends will find it refreshing. It’s okay to say, “This is me. I care about you, but I’m also going to tell it like it is.” The key is finding people who don’t wilt under debate and who are just as happy to run around, try new things, and laugh through life with you. Because for an ESTP, the best friendships are ones that keep pace with both your energy and your honesty.

The ENTP Woman

Quick and ingenious, ENTP women love generating conceptual possibilities and exploring theories about how the world works. They ask a lot of questions, explore new opportunities, and will often be the ones to actively debate and discuss intellectual concepts.

The challenge I’ve seen with female ENTPs is that their radically honest side is often frowned upon or taken offense to. ENTPs enjoy debating and analyzing everything from religion to politics to science. They may point out something that’s honest, but not necessarily pleasing to hear; especially for more sensitive types. ENTPs enjoy piecing apart ideas and theories out loud, and sometimes those ideas are controversial or difficult to accept. Listeners may accuse the ENTP of taking a particular stance on something they don’t even hold; they were just arguing all the perspectives on an idea out loud to make sense of it.

ENTP women can also feel like they don’t quite fit in with friends who seem to be content with small talk or surface level topics. They crave deep conversations, intellectual debates, and stories that spark possibilities and exciting ideas in their mind. This can lead them to feeling isolated or misunderstood if they don’t have anyone to share these conversations with.

Finally, ENTPs tend to have a lot going on and often struggle with consistency in friendships. They move quickly from task to task and idea to idea; and friendships can get muddled in the process. Their lack of consistency can be taken as an insult by some friends who feel that the ENTP should be reaching out and checking in regularly. The ENTP may habitually show up late to events or accidentally forget about plans. Many ENTP women I’ve spoken with are helped by setting alerts on their phones 15 minutes before a planned event so that they don’t forget.

ENTP women should remember that their intelligence, wit, and curiosity are all valuable gifts. Don’t be afraid to express your thoughts and feelings even when those conversations get uncomfortable – just remember to keep an open mind and leave room for compromise if needed. Look for friends who share your interest in intellectual topics or oddball ideas; it’ll feel so nice to share an exciting conversation or debate without fear of judgement.

Find out more about ENTPs: 10 Things That Terrify ENTPs

The ESFP Woman

I feel like when ESFPs walk into a room, suddenly everything feels brighter—more fun, more alive. They love new experiences and adventures, and they love having friends who can match their energy. If you’re an ESFP woman, you probably know what I mean: you want companions who are up for the beach trip this weekend, the concert next weekend, and maybe a spontaneous road trip somewhere in between. You don’t just want to talk about life, you want to live it.

But here’s where things can get messy. Because ESFPs are so spontaneous, it’s easy for friendships to feel uneven. You might spend a whirlwind weekend with one friend and then, a few days later, find yourself off with a totally different group. For more sensitive or routine-oriented friends, it can sting. I’ve had ESFP clients tell me stories about friends who accused them of being flaky or disloyal when really, they were just trying to make the most of every opportunity that came their way.

Another thing I see a lot is how much ESFP women value being real over playing by social rules. And honestly, it’s one of their best traits. They’re unfiltered, authentic, and willing to laugh at themselves. But that same blunt honesty can create tension. An ESFP might tell a funny story at the wrong time, or make a self-effacing joke that gets judged instead of appreciated. What’s meant to be vulnerable or lighthearted can sometimes land the wrong way. And yet, this is also what draws people to them, the world is starving for authenticity, so I always encourage ESFPs not to give up this part of themselves.

Consistency is another challenge. ESFP women live in the present; they don’t want to be bogged down by too much planning or routine. That means texts sometimes go unanswered, get-togethers slip their mind, or they show up late because they got caught up in something else. For types who demand schedules and punctuality, this can feel like rejection. But for the ESFP, it’s not personal, it’s just how they move through life.

The truth is, ESFP women need friendships that honor freedom and authenticity. They need friends who understand that their energy, spontaneity, and occasional missteps come from a place of love, not carelessness. And when ESFPs pair their adventurous spirit with empathy and effort—checking in, being intentional when it counts—they can build friendships that last a lifetime.

The ENFP Woman

ENFP women are driven by possibility, imagination, and conviction. They yearn for a life filled with purpose and the belief that anything is achievable. With their infectious enthusiasm, creativity, and charisma, ENFPs never fail to inspire those around them. It’s no wonder they often find themselves at the heart of their social circles, acting as a wellspring of inspiration for others who are eager to soak it all in.

However, because of their idealistic nature, ENFPs are sometimes seen as too “out there” or unrealistic. Many people try to bring them down to earth and remind them why their ideas are ultimately “impractical.” Lack of imagination in friends can be hugely depressing for ENFPs; and many have told me that they struggle to find people who really believe in their big ideas and dreams. This sense of disconnection can make an ENFP woman feel unfulfilled and ultimately isolated if she can’t find friends who think outside the box and are willing to support her in her ventures.

ENFP women also struggle to juggle friendships along with all their other creative activities and pursuits. They don’t like being held back and need a lot of freedom to explore their passions. This can lead them to unintentionally forget about certain friendship commitments. They may habitually show up late to events or forget to respond to text messages. Jealous friends or needy acquaintances can also be particularly draining for ENFPs, as they often require more time and effort than the ENFP is able to give. ENFPs often need to communicate in spurts of inspiration rather than in consistent daily “check-ins.”

Ultimately, ENFP women are at their best when surrounded by close friends who share in their enthusiasm towards life, while still encouraging them to follow their dreams and passions. Friendships that embrace the ENFP’s unique ideas and ambitions are the ones that will stand the test of time. With a little understanding, empathy, and mutual respect, an ENFP woman can foster meaningful connections with people who truly understand her potential.

What Are Your Thoughts?

Did you enjoy this article? Do you relate? Share your suggestions and advice for other women with your personality type in the comments! You could really help someone!

Find out more about your personality type in our eBooks, Discovering You: Unlocking the Power of Personality Type, The INFJ – Understanding the Mystic, The INTJ – Understanding the Strategist, and The INFP – Understanding the Dreamer. You can also connect with me via Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter!