10 Things You’ll Relate to If You’re an ENFJ

ENFJs are known for a lot of things; being caring, warm, and inspiring. Some traits about ENFJs are pretty well known while others are more obscure. What does it really feel like to be an ENFJ? If you’re one of these rare types (they make up only 4% of the US population) then you’ll probably relate to these 10 qualities.

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What it's really like to be an #ENFJ

10 Things You’ll Relate to If You’re an ENFJ

#1 – You Find Strangers Telling You Their Life Story

ENFJs tend to exude openness and warmth. Many people want to confide in you and find your insight and attentiveness magnetic. You may find yourself hearing all the intimate details of someone’s life and wondering to yourself, “wait…why does this person trust me with all this information?”.

#2 – You Have An Adventurous Side

People don’t give enough credit to your tertiary Extraverted Sensing (Se) function. When you’re feeling playful and creative you can be surprisingly risk-taking and dauntless. Whether it’s something smaller-scale like trying an exotic new food or larger-scale like skydiving, ENFJs have a fondness for excitement and new experiences.

#3 – You’re a Feeler Who Knows How to Think

Too many misinformed individuals make the assumption that a feeling preference correlates to a lack of logic or knowledge. This simply isn’t true. A feeling preference boils down to how we make decisions; when ENFJs make decisions they consider the values and needs of people versus the use and function of things. ENFJs regularly get above-average high school and college grades, and consistently get above-average scores on IQ tests. (MBTI® Manual, page 269).

#4 – It Can Be Hard for You to Say “Yes” to Yourself

You naturally see the needs and desires of the people around you and while this makes you an excellent caretaker and friend, it can also mean you forget to take care of your own needs. As an Extraverted Feeling type, it can be easy to put others first all the time. Try to make sure you’re counting yourself in the list of people who’s needs are important to you!

#5 – You Quickly Spot Authenticity or Phoniness

You have a fine-tuned awareness of the motivations of people. Because you spend a lot of your time considering the desires and emotions of others, you are able to quickly pick up on small signs of dishonesty or manipulation.

#6 – You Get “Hunches” About Things and You’re Not Sure Where They Came From

Thanks to your auxiliary Introverted Intuition, you’re able to get what seems like random “out of the blue” insights into something that has happened or will happen. People may look at you like you’re crazy when you reveal these revelations, and it may be frustrating because you can’t pin down exactly why or how you know what you know. Don’t stress, though. Many times with thought and reflection eventually you can trace down where these insights came from.

#7 – You’re Your Own Worst Critic

You’re constantly telling yourself what you “should” or “shouldn’t” do. Your values shape everything about you and when you fail to live up to them it can be a crushing blow.

 #8 – When You Have to Give Criticism, You Analyze It to the Point of Exhaustion

Giving criticism can be extremely difficult for you.  You see so many different sides to everything…“Maybe he means this/maybe I’m misunderstanding that/Maybe it’s her childhood/Maybe I shouldn’t say anything/Maybe we should just forget it!”. You hate to make people feel bad, ashamed, or criticized, so you can get stuck in analysis mode long before and after the criticism was given and the other person has moved on with their life.

#9 – Sometimes You Feel Like People Don’t Know the Real You

Because you lead with a process called Extraverted Feeling, you spend a lot of your time taking care of the needs and emotions of others. You like to create harmonious atmospheres, listen, encourage, and inspire. Yet sometimes you get an uneasy feeling that the people you spend your time with haven’t taken any time to figure out who you really are. There’s a lot more to you than what people see on the outside, but it can be hard to find someone who will take the time to really get to know that side of you. This can be a lonely feeling.

#10 – You Can Be a Very Determined Leader

You have a visionary outlook on life and are determined to change the world to make it better for people. While some people see you as simply friendly and outgoing, there’s more to you than that. You’ve spent your life arranging your future and planning and strategizing how to make your dreams a reality and how to improve the world. When given the opportunity you can be extremely outspoken and compelling as a leader (just think of Martin Luther King Jr., a rumored ENFJ!).

Find out more about your personality type in our eBook, Discovering You: Unlocking the Power of Personality Type.

Other Articles You Might Enjoy:

The Top 7 Gift Ideas for ENFJs

10 Things You Should Never Say to an ENFJ

Understanding ENFJ Feeling

7 Things Extroverts Are Sick of Hearing

What it's really like to be an #ENFJ

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  1. Wow – this is incredibly spot on. You have great insights and this is my favorite personality blog (and I’ve perused a lot of them (-:). Thank you for the understanding…these are ALL true points, but I think #3 is the one I’m happiest to see you write about.

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