Have you ever turned someone off without realizing what you did wrong? In today’s article we’re looking at some of the biggest turn-offs for each of the 16 Myers-Briggs® personality types. While I’ve chosen specific turn-offs for each individual type, there are some important things to keep in mind for the specific preferences as well. Let’s take a look!
Table of contents
- What Turns Off Each Personality Preference:
- The ENFP – Rigidity
- The ENTP – Narrow-mindedness
- The INFP – Shallowness
- The INTP – Emotional Neediness
- The ENFJ – Harshness
- The ENTJ – Laziness
- The INFJ – Jumping to Conclusions
- The INTJ – Forced Small Talk
- The ESFP – People Who Think They’ve Got Them All Figured Out
- The ESTP – Rambling
- The ISFP – Finishing Their Sentences
- The ISTP – Being Managed
- The ESFJ – Conversation Dominators
- The ESTJ – Complainers
- The ISFJ – Lateness
- The ISTJ – Sloppyness
Estimated reading time: 10 minutes
What Turns Off Each Personality Preference:
Extroverts (Exxx Personality Types):
Extroverts are turned off by signs that you don’t have a lot going on in your life. If you want to be attractive to extroverted personalities, go out and live a little! Consume new information, try new things, and come back with stories to tell. They also tend to get turned off by secretiveness, passive-aggression, or being judged for their more talkative ways.
Introverts (Ixxx Personality Types):
Introverts might be quieter than your typical person, but they still have things they want to say. They get turned off by people who talk over them, interrupt them, make assumptions about them, or who can’t honor their alone time. For the introvert, a lack of a rich inner world is also a turn-off.
Sensing (xSxx Personality Types):
Sensors are turned off by people who are flighty or who seem to have their heads in the clouds. They pride themselves on being down to earth and grounded, so people who can’t seem to face facts or who focus on a lot of irrelevant data that has no practical purpose can annoy them.
Intuitive (xNxx Personality Types):
Intuitive types are turned off by people who can’t think beyond the present moment or see beyond surface-level details. They are driven by their imagination and sense of potential and enjoy exploring possibilities with others. They get annoyed by people who seem shallow or who can’t seem to think outside the box.
Thinking (xxTx Personality Types):
Thinking types are turned off by people who are emotionally over-reactive or needy. They focus on staying objective and detached, so when people make emotion-based decisions or fly off the handle about small things, it turns them off. They also don’t enjoy dealing with people who can’t seem to take care of themselves and need a lot of help or hand-holding.
Feeling (xxFx Personality Types):
Feeling types are turned off by people who are cold or unyielding in their communication style. They prize harmony and cooperation in their relationships and can be turned off by someone who is always critical or who seems to enjoy debating for the sake of debating. They also can be turned off by people who are emotionally distant or seem like they’re not interested in building a connection.
Perceiving (xxxP Personality Types):
Perceiving types are turned off by people who are very rigid or controlling. They dislike being told what to do or having things done in a certain way without some room for personal variation. When they’re with someone, perceiving types enjoy feeling like it’s their choice and don’t appreciate when people tell them what to think or how to feel. They especially hate being rushed into a decision or pressured into a commitment before they’re ready.
Judging (xxxJ Personality Types):
Judging types are turned off by people who lack a strong work ethic or who shirk off responsibilities. They want someone dependable in their lives, someone who will say what they mean and do what they say. Being on time and having a plan is crucial for types with a Judging preference. If they’re left hanging or dealing with a lot of wishy-washy behavior, they will feel stressed and annoyed.
The ENFP – Rigidity
ENFPs prefer to understand the world through a series of possibilities. They are on a constant quest for new ideas, experiences, and understandings. They often see all of the potential in things, rather than the surface-level details.
Rigid rules and restrictions turn ENFPs off because they feel that it limits their creativity and sense of freedom. When people halt their brainstorming, blow off their ideas, or try to control their schedules, they feel stifled, misunderstood, and trapped.
Read This Next: A Look at the ENFP Leader
The ENTP – Narrow-mindedness
ENTPs enjoy having their minds active and are constantly exploring new possibilities. They love debating ideas, considering all angles, and testing theories. They dislike anything that limits their thinking or restricts their freedom of expression.
Narrow-mindedness is the ENTP‘s biggest turn-off. When someone is unwilling to consider different viewpoints or alternative explanations, they feel annoyed and perplexed.
The INFP – Shallowness
INFPs are deep, complex individuals who are constantly exploring their inner feelings and imagination. Idealistic and compassionate, they long to bring their creative visions out into the world.
Shallow conversations, relationships, and activities turn INFPs off because they see them as a waste of time. People who focus more on appearances or material possessions than on substance and meaning are very unappealing to INFPs.
Read This Next: Dealing with Emotional Overwhelm as an INFP
The INTP – Emotional Neediness
INTPs love exploring ideas and theories and are capable of understanding very complex, intricate systems. Knowing how things work is important to this type. Having space is especially crucial so that they can analyze all the various ideas and questions passing through their minds.
Emotional neediness or emotional drama can be overwhelming to INTPs, because it interrupts their flow and takes them out of their logical bubble. They need time and space to themselves with which to think, process, and enjoy clarity. Plus their blunt, logical delivery tends to upset emotionally dramatic types leading to stressful conflict.
Read This Next: 21 Hobbies That INTPs Love
The ENFJ – Harshness
Some people pride themselves on being “brutally honest,” but for ENFJs the truth rarely needs to be delivered harshly. Usually people who pride themselves on “saying it like it is” are just looking for an opportunity to feel superior to someone else, and ENFJs know this.
Harshness and unkindness turn ENFJs off because they can often sense the underlying motivations that are behind someone’s harsh words. They can also sense the emotional wounds harsh words can cause and their long-lasting impacts.
The ENTJ – Laziness
ENTJs love a good challenge and they enjoy being productive and efficient. They are impatient with procrastination and struggle to understand people who move slowly.
Laziness is a turn-off for ENTJs because it delays their goals, gets in the way of productivity, and shows a lack of vision or ambition. They want to get things done properly and on time with minimal effort or distractions.
The INFJ – Jumping to Conclusions
INFJs are deeply intuitive individuals who take time to analyze and consider the feelings and perspectives of others. They need time to contemplate and conceptualize before they jump into judgments or evaluations of people.
Jumping to conclusions is a turn-off for INFJs because it goes against their more reflective, analytical way of perceiving things. When someone makes a hasty judgment without giving others a chance to explain themselves, it frustrates them – especially if the judgments are being made about their own intentions and motivations.
Read This Next: Honoring Your Inner Child as an INFJ
The INTJ – Forced Small Talk
INTJs are creative, insightful individuals who are able to see the big picture and understand complex concepts. They enjoy having deep conversations about ideas, theories, and possibilities.
Forced small talk is a turn-off for INTJs because it feels like a waste of time. People who can’t sit silently without speaking about the weather, the news, or the latest gossip are often seen as boring and superficial by INTJs.
Read This Next: The INTJ and the 5 Love Languages
The ESFP – People Who Think They’ve Got Them All Figured Out
ESFPs are nuanced, varied individuals who all have their unique passions, tastes, and ideas about life. Unfortunately, some people pigeon-hole them as “the partiers” or “the entertainers” and think there’s nothing more to add. Yet behind the enthusiasm and gregariousness of the ESFP type is a deeply feeling, one-of-a-kind individual who hates to be limited.
The ESTP – Rambling
Not all ESTPs are action-loving adrenaline junkies, but they do tend to be quick-witted with an eye for details. This type loves seeing how situations play out and seizing various opportunities as they arise (even if that means taking some risks). They hate sitting through long periods of small talk or rambling that doesn’t lead anywhere.
The ISFP – Finishing Their Sentences
ISFPs aren’t very wordy or rambly people, so when others decide to interrupt them or, worse, finish their sentences, they can’t help but roll their eyes. Being a good listener is a skill they prize in others, and they struggle to understand or respect people who presume to know everything they were going to say.
Read This Next: 10 Things You Should Never Say to an ISFP
The ISTP – Being Managed
“Don’t tread on me” is a phrase that most ISTPs will hold dear in life. They want to be their own boss, make their own rules, and chart their own course. They loathe being micromanaged or told what to do, especially by people who haven’t earned their trust.
ISTPs thrive on freedom and independence, so if someone is trying to assert control in their life, they better have a good reason and they should do so while being open to the ISTP’s own opinions and perspectives.
Read This Next: What ISTPs Do When They’re Really Stressed Out
The ESFJ – Conversation Dominators
ESFJs love friendly conversation and are usually quite talkative and gregarious. However, they are turned off by people who dominate the whole conversation and ramble on endlessly without giving others a chance to speak or change the subject.
ESFJs want everyone around them to feel comfortable and appreciated, so they’ll quickly lose interest in people who hog the spotlight or only think of what they want to say without giving anyone a moment to interject.
The ESTJ – Complainers
ESTJs are doers, not complainers. They take action and get things done, preferring to find solutions to problems instead of dwelling on them. So it’s no surprise that they don’t have much patience for people who continuously whine and moan about their lives without ever trying to make a change.
ESTJs want to see people be proactive and put in the effort to achieve their dreams instead of blubbering about them.
The ISFJ – Lateness
Driven by a sense of responsibility, ISFJs are considerate of others’ time and will often arrive at places early rather than risk being late. They’re turned off by people who are chronically tardy and always have an excuse or blow it off like it’s no big deal. They see lateness as a sign of disrespect for others’ time and needs, and it’s a sure way to lose their respect if it keeps continuing.
Read This Next: 5 Tricks to Succeeding in Your Career as an ISFJ
The ISTJ – Sloppyness
ISTJs are known for being meticulous and detail-oriented. They find it a major turn-off when people are sloppy or careless about their surroundings. If you’re someone who drives slow in the fast lane, leaves a mess everywhere you go, or uses poor or incorrect grammar, they will not be impressed. They may question your competence or intelligence and lose respect for what you have to say.
What Are Your Thoughts?
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Find out more about your personality type in our eBooks, Discovering You: Unlocking the Power of Personality Type, The INFJ – Understanding the Mystic, The INTJ – Understanding the Strategist, and The INFP – Understanding the Dreamer. You can also connect with me via Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter!