INFJ Compatibility with Every Personality Type

INFJ compatibility is one of the subjects I get the most questions about on a daily basis as an MBTI® practitioner. Today I really wanted to dive into the different potential pairings of the INFJ type and give an idea of the strengths and weaknesses of specific romantic relationships. Let’s get started!

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INFJs and their compatibility with each of the 16 Myers-Briggs® personality types. #MBTI #INFJ #Personality

Estimated reading time: 16 minutes

When it comes to INFJ compatibility, these rare types are a fascinating blend of idealism and realism. Known for being caring and complex, these rare personalities approach relationships with a depth and sincerity that’s rather unique. They seek meaningful connections that go beyond the surface, ready to explore the profound waters of kinship and love.

The Empathetic Idealists

At their core, INFJs are insightful and empathetic. They have this uncanny ability to get what’s unsaid, to sense the emotions and thoughts rippling beneath the veneer. This makes them exceptional partners who are not just good listeners but are also able to create a realm where the real you is celebrated — imperfections and all.

In relationships, INFJs are nothing if not romantic. Think grand gestures, love letters, and a propensity to find joy in the detailed nuances of their partner’s being. They’re the loyal confidants, the midnight conversation partners unpicking the mysteries of the universe, all while making you feel like you’re the center of their world. Their loyalty is almost legendary, and when they’re in, they’re all in.

But it’s not just about understanding and supporting their partner; INFJs also crave a space where they’re understood. They want someone who can dive into those deep conversations, who isn’t frightened by a little theorizing about life’s bigger questions. They desire a fellow visionary, someone who can paint the canvas of the future alongside them.

Searching for Authenticity and Depth

INFJs don’t just want a relationship; they’re on a quest for a true partnership. Authenticity is a big deal — it’s the foundation upon which they build the haven of their relationships. A partner’s honesty is crucial because any facade, any inkling of pretense, will inevitably be seen through by their penetrating intuition.

These intuitive folks also need a consistent partner. They value people who follow through on their promises, who prove their reliability not just in words but in actions. They’re looking for someone who can help them untangle their complex inner life without exploiting their natural empathy or turning the relationship into a one-way street of emotional labor.

The deal breakers? Manipulation is a huge red flag for an INFJ, as is shallowness. They’re after connections that brim with substance. An INFJ wants a partner who shares their penchant for thoughtful exploration, who’s excited by the idea of personal growth and mutual exploration of the self and the world around them.

INFJ Love Languages: The Keys to Connection

Just as a lock is designed to open with a specific key, the heart of an INFJ responds best to particular expressions of love. In a recent survey of over 480 individuals who identify as INFJs, the love language that stood out as most valued was Quality Time. This makes sense when you consider the premium INFJs place on authentic connections and sharing experiences that reflect a deep-seated presence and mutual engagement.

Closely following Quality Time, Words of Affirmation emerged as the second most treasured love language for INFJs. The importance they place on verbal affirmation aligns with their need for genuine connection and appreciation. Because they often perceive the subtext behind words, affirmations serve as a comforting assurance that the bond they hold is acknowledged and valued on a verbal level.

Acts of Service came in third, which is hardly surprising considering the altruistic and nurturing nature of many INFJs. When someone goes out of their way to ease their load or anticipate their needs, it communicates care and understanding in a tangible form. It’s the thoughtful doing, without prompt or expectation of reciprocation, that resonates deeply with them, affirming the solidity and commitment within the relationship.

In essence, these love languages resonate profoundly with INFJ’s heartstrings because they speak to what they hold dearest: meaningfulness, authenticity, and a reflection of their deep dedication to the wellbeing of the relationship.


Ideas will abound in this exciting relationship. ENFPs will bring the options, alternatives, and breadth of ideas, whereas INFJs will bring a probing, deep insight into one or two ideas. There’s usually a quick spark between these two because, while they’re both very similar in some ways – they use each of their strengths in a totally different way. INFJs and ENFPs are both intuitive-dominant types, but while ENFPs will constantly generate more ideas, INFJs will constantly be narrowing them down to find the best fit. ENFPs will focus on alignment with their inner values, while INFJs will be social chameleons – wearing their hearts on their sleeves and focusing on the moods and feelings of others.  ENFPs can broaden the INFJs perspective on life, while INFJs can help ENFPs to narrow their focus and dig deeper. These two will go on lots of adventures, both physically and mentally – each one sparking brighter, more vivid insights in the other. There might be some misunderstandings and arguments because they share none of the same cognitive functions, but because of that, they can both help each other to grow in powerful ways.


Chemistry runs high in this powerhouse relationship. Both INFJs and ENTPs share the same decision-making functions, Introverted Thinking, and Extraverted Feeling. Because of this, they will both value precise logic and open, transparent communication and shared feelings. ENTPs will tantalize INFJs with their never-ending list of ideas and experiences, and INFJs will draw ENTPs in with their warmth and imagination. Psychologist David Keirsey suggested that this was the most ideal match for both of these types.


Depth and imagination run wild in this powerful relationship. While these types share none of the same cognitive functions, they share many of the same values. Both thrive in quiet atmospheres and enjoy focusing on imagination and possibility more than surface-level details. INFPs can help INFJs to deep-dive into their feelings and find out what really matters to them on a personal level. INFJs can help INFPs to find a focus and direction for all their creative energy. Problems can arise in this relationship when INFJs see INFPs as too caught up in their own feelings or too hard to read, and INFPs feel that INFJs are “people-pleasers.”. By developing an understanding of each other’s cognitive functions, the two can have a much more understanding relationship.


Often called the “Golden pair,” INFJs and INTPs find each other intriguing yet comfortable to be with. Used to being perceived as misfits, together they can escape into the solace of their quiet, introverted world. Exploring ideas and theories in-depth will give them both a rush, and many nights will be spent reading books, debating concepts, and refining each other’s perspectives on life. INTPs can help INFJs to refine their accuracy and logic, whereas INFJs can help INTPs to refine their understanding of the emotional world and human dynamics. Problems can arise in this relationship when the INTP‘s more laid-back way of life interferes with the INFJs perfectionism and vice versa. You can find out more about this duo in my article, Why INFJs and INTPs Fall for Each Other.


Passion runs rampant in this dynamic, emotionally-rich relationship. INFJs and ENFJs have so much in common that they will naturally have a deep understanding of each other. In fact, they may get so caught up in “reading” each other that they get their emotions mixed up in the process. It’s common for these pairs to struggle with differentiating their own feelings because their empathy runs so high. Driven and organized, both of these types will enjoy envisioning and achieving goals. Together they can be an unstoppable force, working with people and projects to inspire change in the world. However, they need to work on slowing down sometimes and taking care of their own physical needs. Both of these types tend to downplay the importance of adequate rest, nutrition, and other health requirements. Being aware of this can help them to keep those important aspects of life on their radar.


This relationship can either be a very good or a very bad idea. Both of these types are visionary, future-focused, and strategic. Both enjoy having a plan and structure for life. However, while ENTJs are decisive, straightforward types, INFJs tend to be more introspective and slow to come to conclusions. INFJs can find ENTJs intimidating or overly-forceful, while ENTJs can find INFJs too wishy-washy or sensitive. These relationships often find more harmony in later life when ENTJs get more in touch with their feeling side and INFJs get more in touch with their thinking side. However, in the early years, there can be a lot of conflicts if neither one is willing to understand the other’s perspective. Either way, when these types work together they can motivate the other to achieve far-reaching, groundbreaking goals.


Kindred spirits, INFJs and INFJs will naturally be drawn to each other for their shared empathy and global view of life. That said, so much similarity can be too much of a good thing and this combination can find themselves stuck in a “bubble” of stagnancy if they’re not careful. They may enable each other in their weaknesses or find themselves bored by so much similarity. However, they can also motivate each other in their strengths and work through misunderstandings quickly. There will be plenty of transparent, authentic conversation here, as well as respect for each other’s space. Many evenings will be spent reading books on the couch or discussing the meaning of life. These two just need to be careful not to stump each other’s growth by ignoring their shared weaknesses.


This relationship is bound to be both intense and meaningful. Both of these types look for grand patterns, connections, and possibilities. Both are drawn to the abstract and theoretical more than surface-level realities. However, where INFJs make decisions based on the dynamics and needs of the people around them, INTJs will make decisions by weighing the pros and cons and looking at the logical facts. This can lead to conflict when both types reach an impasse on a decision. However, during these times they can help each other to grow and see outside themselves to make better decisions. INFJs can help INTJs to take other people’s needs into account and INTJs can help INFJs to see a more straightforward, logical approach to problem-solving. This can be a relationship with a few conflicts, but it can also be one of tremendous growth and fulfillment. You can find out a lot more about this relationship here: Your Guide to the INFJ and INTJ Relationship.


This relationship is not for the faint of heart. Each of these individuals will challenge the other in ways that can seem scary or overwhelming, but that can be a good thing. INFJs challenge ESFPs to slow down and look ahead, and ESFPs challenge INFJs to trust their impulses and take more action. INFJs bring warmth and imagination to the relationship, while ESFPs bring excitement and practicality. Together they can do nearly anything, but they’re also likely to have a fair share of conflicts. It can be easy for them to feel “triggered” by each other because both will be strong in areas where the other is weak. These types need to be careful that they don’t get condescending and overly-critical with each other. INFJs tend to see Sensing as less important than Intuition, and ESFPs see Intuition as less important than Sensing. Because of this, they may perpetually misunderstand why the other is prioritizing the things that they do. A deep understanding of personality type can help these two to bridge misunderstandings and differences and grow closer in the process.


If you like an exciting challenge, then this relationship is the one for you. INFJs and ESTPs look like opposites at first glance, but they actually share all of the same cognitive functions in the reverse order. This means that even though they may have different lifestyle preferences, they seem to innately understand each other in many of life’s situations. ESTPs energize and motivate INFJs, while INFJs help ESTPs slow down and see the bigger picture. Both types can create a lot of balance for the other if they are willing to appreciate each other’s differences without getting irritated by them.

Pairs in this relationship need to look out for condescension. Because both types are strong in areas where the other is weak, it can be natural to think that the other person is causing problems when they’re really only doing things according to their natural type. You can find out more details about this in my article, Why INFJs and ESTPs Fall in Love.


Depth and creativity are at the heart of this relationship pairing. While this pairing is rarer than many, it is by no means for lack of passion. ISFPs help INFJs to probe deeper into their personal values and feelings. They also help them to see the beauty and joy in the physical details of life. INFJs help ISFPs to tap into their intuition and see hidden meanings and possibilities. Both types naturally respect each other’s space, but tension can build when they don’t respect each other’s feeling preferences. ISFPs tend to dwell on their feelings privately for a while before wanting to discuss them. INFJs are more likely to want to deal with feelings and emotions quickly. INFJs can be pushy with ISFPs about having open, transparent conversations, and ISFPs can feel that INFJs are too concerned with everyone else’s feelings and not as in touch with their own. An understanding of the differences between Fe and Fi can help these types overcome many of their relationship obstacles.


Surprisingly, this romantic pairing is fairly common. INFJs and ISTPs are drawn to each other because they have enough similarities to make things comfortable, yet enough differences to make life exciting. Both respect each other’s privacy and need for space and both have strengths where the other has weaknesses. INFJs bring emotional understanding and visionary insight into the relationship, while ISTPs bring practical knowledge and a sense of adventure to the union. Both types find the differences in their partner intriguing and sexy, and since they share the same cognitive functions there’s less cause for misunderstanding as in many other relationship pairings. That said, these relationships aren’t conflict-free. INFJs like a lot of transparency and emotional connection, whereas ISTPs tend to be more reserved about such things. In the same way, ISTPs like straightforward, direct communication and INFJs are natural “sugarcoaters.” There can be conflict when the ISTP inadvertently hurts the INFJs feelings by being too direct or the INFJ becomes passive-aggressive rather than expressing their frustrations directly.


Warmth and consideration are at the heart of this romantic relationship. These two types will find in each other gracious, dependable companions. INFJs enjoy the empathy and dependability of ESFJs, and ESFJs enjoy the imagination and insight that INFJs bring to the union. That said, these types don’t wind up together very frequently. This is likely because their interests tend to lie in different arenas. INFJs are drawn to the theoretical and abstract while ESFJs are drawn to real-world experiences. INFJs are more comfortable with going down obscure, risky paths while ESFJs tend to be more risk-averse. As an example, an INFJ might decide to experiment with different religions, some more obscure, while an ESFJ is more likely to stick with what they know and trust rather than trying out many other things. INFJs can think that ESFJs are too traditional, and ESFJs might think that INFJs are too distanced from reality. If you’re in this relationship I’d suggest reading about Ni (the INFJ’s mode of perception) and Si (the ESFJ’s mode of perception) to get a better understanding of each other.


If you’re looking to grow and challenge yourself, then this relationship might be the catalyst you seek! These two personality types tend to have a lot of conflicts with each other, but they can also propel each other towards greater levels of understanding. They may be drawn to each other simply because they are so different from each other! ESTJs can help INFJs take better care of their physical needs and tend to the practical details of life. INFJs can help ESTJs to see the bigger picture and the perspectives of other people. Conflicts arise when INFJs find ESTJs too brusque and controlling, or ESTJs try too hard to pull INFJs away from their abstract perspectives. Because these types share none of the same mental processes, there are more likely to be misunderstandings and arguments that lead nowhere. Reading up on the cognitive functions can prove extremely beneficial. It’s vital that both types work hard to understand each other. It’s especially crucial that they avoid condescension or patronizing comments. When these types DO understand each other, there can be huge levels of growth because they both offer a perspective that the other is lacking.


This romantic relationship feels as warm and cozy as a soft, fluffy blanket on a crisp, autumn evening. Both ISFJs and INFJs are drawn to each other because of their mutual consideration, empathy, and quiet reserve. They both respect each other’s space and are highly considerate of each other’s emotional and physical needs. This duo usually creates many meaningful traditions that draw them closer as time goes by. They often enjoy expressing their love through letters, gifts, and symbolic tokens.

Problems can arise in this relationship because of how differently each type perceives the world. INFJs absorb information through Introverted Intuition, and ISFJs absorb information through Introverted Sensation. Because of this, INFJs might seem lost in fruitless imaginings to ISFJs. Likewise, INFJs might find ISFJs too tied to past experiences and day-to-day events. They might push each other beyond their comfort zones if they aren’t careful. Reading up on the differences between Intuition and Sensation can really help this duo! That said, this is still one of the most successful relationship pairings I’ve seen.


A rare romantic pairing, INFJs and ISTJs can be drawn to each other for the very things that set them apart. In the ISTJ, the INFJ sees someone who is dependable, straightforward, and knowledgeable. In the INFJ, the ISTJ sees someone who is goal-oriented, insightful, and empathetic. Both types prize reliability, and both respect each other’s need for personal space. That said, this relationship isn’t exactly conflict-free. INFJs find ISTJs very difficult to read, and may struggle to understand what’s going on emotionally with them. As INFJs push for more open communication, ISTJs can feel put upon and annoyed. They may lash out at the INFJ or seclude themselves further rather than reaching out. In the same respect, ISTJs can feel that INFJs trust their intuition too adamantly. They may push the INFJ for “proof” of their insights, only to annoy the INFJ and cause them to retreat. If both types can try to understand each other’s differences then this relationship can be very successful. You can find out much more about this relationship pairing in this article: The INFJ and ISTJ Relationship.

What Are Your Thoughts?

Did you enjoy this article? Do you have any wisdom to share? Let us know in the comments! You can also find out more in my eBook, The INFJ – Understanding the Mystic.

INFJ Understanding the Mystic
Get a look at every possible romantic relationship pairing that #INFJs can experience! #INFJ #MBTI #Personality #INTJ

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  1. I am an INFJ, my SO is an ESFP…they say it should be difficult but honestly we both appreciate each other’s differences so much becuase we are so different that it just works. We fight, obviously, but generally we work through it becuase we are able to put ourselves in each other’s shoes and emphasize, I guess that’s our shared F trait!! 😏😄
    Honestly we bring out the best in each other and both of us have grown so much because of it!🥰

  2. I have read this article and I have especially stopped at the part of INFJ and INTP since I have a brother who is an INTP and have been able to study the differences we have from up close. But the ones mentioned in the article are not it. We have different perceiving functions. Ni and Se are better at putting things into context while Ne and Si out of context. Ni is abstract thinking while Ti is logical thinking. Ni can go from S to A to Z to B, while Ti needs the A – B line of reasoning. Also, we all know who Einstein was but how many know who Karl Schwarzschild is and what he did?

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