5 Ways To Annoy An INFP
Today I’m thrilled to talk about the ultimate Idealist; the INFP. INFPs are gentle, insightful people who care deeply about the human race. They are determined to find their purpose in life, to find meaning, and to make a difference for humanity. INFPs are thoughtful and sincere, and prize authenticity and kindness. A.A. Milne, William Shakespeare, Edgar Allan Poe, and Vincent Van Gogh were all INFPs! As you can see, they have a knack for creativity, writing, and expression.
Of course, for the subject of this post I wanted to find out what really bothers INFPs and what particular traits especially get on their nerves. I asked in forums, groups, and checked out my Myers-Briggs® books to get an idea. Here are the five things that got mentioned the most:
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“A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.”
– William Shakespeare, INFP
INFPs value humanity in all its various shapes and forms, and can see nothing more detestable than people who think they deserve better or are somehow “above” anyone else. The INFP sees every individual as full of possibilities and potential. INFPs are champions of the underdogs, the downtrodden, the misunderstood. They will have an open mind to hearing anyone’s problems or concerns, but they are extremely turned off by arrogance and entitlement.
INFPs value authenticity highly and always seek to be true to themselves and their deeply-held personal values. Dishonesty and pretentious behavior turns off the INFP tremendously. As mentioned above, the INFP will have a very open mind towards nearly anyone – but being yourself, being honest, and being authentic are extremely important to them.
“I believe in everything until it’s disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it’s in your mind. Who’s to say that dreams and nightmares aren’t as real as the here and now?”
– John Lennon, INFP
INFPs are extremely open-minded and imaginative. They see the world as full of endless possibilities and forces. They often deal with being stifled in their youth by people who find their creative musings and insights “unrealistic” or “impractical”. Because INFPs make up only 3-4% of the population it is often rare that they find people who can appreciate and understand their inner world and imaginative personality.
Being Put On the Spot
“I’m shy, paranoid, whatever word you want to use. I hate fame. I’ve done everything I can to avoid it.”
– Johnny Depp, INFP
INFPs are often shy and reserved and are made incredibly uncomfortable by being pushed into the limelight. While they are drawn to creative endeavors that may bring them attention, they are extremely self-conscious about being the center of conversation or the object of scrutiny. They’d much rather enjoy their creative freedom without the attention that goes along with it.
Poor Listening Skills
INFPs have incredibly strong listening skills; in fact, neuroscientist Dario Nardi, said in his book The Neuroscience of Personality that INFPs “often enter a special listening mode. They are consummate listeners. They thoroughly engage all brain regions that process voice, words, and sounds; moreover, they may easily enter a unique whole-brain state when listening to other people, whoever those people might be.” Because the INFP has such excellent listening skills, they are often disappointed when they aren’t met with the same courtesy by others. They especially hate when people try to jump in and “fix” a problem when they are trying to discuss their feelings or emotions. They would much rather be listened to fully first, then receive empathy and understanding, then solutions.
The INFP and Stress
What Do You Think?
Are you an INFP with an opinion on this post? Feel like sharing your pet peeves? Let me know in the comments!
Find out more about your personality type in our eBooks, Discovering You: Unlocking the Power of Personality Type, The INFJ – Understanding the Mystic, and The INFP – Understanding the Dreamer. You can also connect with me via Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter!
Other Articles You Might Enjoy:
10 Things You Should Never Say to an INFP
10 Surprising Truths About INFPs
Why INFPs and INFJs are Drawn to Sad Things
yes, these are all relevant to me. I have found some more than others in different stages of my life. but seem to come full circle. The one I struggle with the most is large crowds and seems to be getting worse with age. I am close to 50 now. and prefer to be home alone with my thoughts, music, painting and pets. or to have one person around who understands interaction is not necessary to be company. luckily I have one or two friends who accept this and in like return. the “not listening” of course is frustrating and at times infuriating especially if it is one of the few people that are constant. I find it necessary for more recharging time after social settings to the extent of exhaustion after interacting with too many. I went out last Friday and ended up sleeping for two days after with intermissions of waking anxiety.
I find that my sister manages to find new ways to sink lower and lower in my eyes. I find her arrogant, and she feels she doesn’t need to contribute to the household. I’m getting to the point where I am going to write her off completely. I have always surrounded myself with interesting people. For instance, one girl was a female bodybuilder who the other girls in the office felt wasn’t feminine enough, another girl was an alcoholic who I tried desperately to help, but in the end was unsuccessful, another had ADD and I counted her as one of my best friends. Sometimes I can feel what they are saying behind the words. You know that phrase, “I can’t quite put it into words.”. Yeah, I get that. I know what you are feeling without saying it. I can see it in your eyes. These people are the type some would write off as trash. To me, they are worth being my friends. They are valuable people. I could call any of them at 3:00 AM with a problem and they would be right there to help me. That’s friendship to me. That also comes with a responsibility that you don’t take advantage of them. I’m open minded, but don’t like arrogant people or people who force their views on you. Some don’t even have all the information before they make decisions that also impact you. If they ever took the time to see all the information, they never would have made that particular decision.
I am an INFP and this hits pretty close to home. The statement, “Dishonesty and pretentious behavior turns off the INFP tremendously” is very true for me. I have been struggling at work because I have a co-worker that behaves in that manner. We work with indigent people and he is often talking about people behind their back and nice and often acts as if he is above them. I also can’t seem to shut my listening brain off!! I just have to close my office door sometimes to get a break from the chatter, I hear everything and it seems impossible to block it out. Reading this article helped me to see that it’s not just me being an intolerant person, but it’s how I’m wired. I even feel bad for being so frustrated with this person. Now I don’t feel that bad. I still wish I didn’t have to work in the same building as him though. ; )
True this stuff is like cryptonite. Especially arrogance and fakers. I can actually freeze and everything in me just wants to get away. I no longer care about whatever I went there for.
I have a question. How are we supposed to deal with deadlines? When I’m trying to do something creative I feel like someone is whipping me and ordering me to ” be creative! Be creative!” I hate deadlines but I know they are also the catalyst, the thing that calls us out. 😞
Authenticity is something I hold near and dear to me. If I detect any phoniness my guard goes up and I disengage. Love reading about being an INFP as we are so rare and it is one of the loneliest personalities to have, or this would be my opinion.