Here’s What Each Personality Type REALLY Wants to Talk About This Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving conversations can go from warm and meaningful to “I need to go check on the rolls” in about four seconds. And because every personality type wants something different from a good conversation, it helps to know who thrives on deep existential musings… and who just wants you to pass the mashed potatoes and chill.

Whether you’re hoping for real connection this year, avoiding conversational landmines, or simply trying not to repeat last year’s “accidental debate that lasted three hours,” here’s how to genuinely click with each of the 16 types without losing your sanity.

Not sure what your personality type is? Take our personality questionnaire here. Or you can take the official MBTI® here.

The ENFP

Get out-of-the-box with an ENFP. Bring up a new theory you’ve heard about or ask them where they’d like to be in 10 years. Spark their imagination with “what if” questions and interesting hypothetical scenarios. Unlock your creativity and think outside the confines of what’s “practical” and “normal”. Make sure you’re as authentic as possible and don’t be surprised if they play devil’s advocate with you. Yes, ENFPs are feeling types, but they aren’t afraid to challenge opinions or traditions that don’t align with their values.

Conversation sweet spots with an ENFP:
• Bring up an unconventional idea or “what if” scenario to spark their imagination.
• Ask them about their dreams, long-term hopes, or the future they secretly want.
• Explore big-picture topics like meaning, creativity, purpose, or potential.
• Let them play devil’s advocate without taking it personally; it’s how they think.
• Be open to enthusiastic tangents, that’s half the fun with ENFPs.
• Laugh with them; they love people who don’t take themselves too seriously.

Read This Next: 24 Signs That You’re an ENFP Personality Type

The ENTP

ENTPs thrive on mental play. If you give them something interesting, they’ll light up. They want novelty, challenge, and the freedom to poke holes in ideas just to see what’s underneath. Keep things flexible and curious. No need to tiptoe — ENTPs can handle debate, wild what-ifs, and your most unhinged shower thoughts.

Conversation sweet spots with an ENTP:

• Bring up a new theory you recently heard — even if it’s half-baked.
• Ask them to help you unpack something confusing or paradoxical.
• Let them bounce between ideas without demanding a clear point.
• Be willing to challenge them (playfully, not personally).
• Humor is always welcome — especially if it’s clever or absurd.

The INFP

INFPs are such good listeners that they often aren’t catered to in conversation. Break that mold this Thanksgiving and be the one to listen to them for a change. INFPs are deeply creative people and they usually have very personal and meaningful interests. Ask them about their favorite books, songs, and artists. Ask them what speaks to them in the stories they love. Ask them “What’s your idea of a perfect world?” Give them a chance to express their likes and dislikes, their ideals, and the special stories that speak to their hearts.

Conversation sweet spots with an INFP:
• Ask about the books, songs, or art that shaped them.
• Invite them to talk about their creative projects or daydreams.
• Share something heartfelt; authenticity is their love language.
• Be patient with silences; they often need a little time before responding.
• Avoid prying questions; gentle curiosity works better.

Read This Next: 24 Signs That You’re an INFP Personality Type

The INTP

The important thing to remember with INTPs is that they HATE feeling interrogated. You never want the conversation to feel too intrusive or prying. They want a conversation that piques their curiosity and makes them imagine and think. Bring up a theory you’ve heard about and ask for their thoughts. Ask them about their favorite books and why they like them. Don’t be afraid to challenge them in a “battle of wits.” Try to solve a puzzling brain-teaser together or get the most complicated riddles you can fathom and try to solve them.

Conversation sweet spots with an INTP:
• Bring up an interesting theory and ask what they think.
• Explore abstract ideas without insisting on closure.
• Offer a puzzle, paradox, or brain teaser to unravel together.
• Ask what they’ve been researching or learning lately.
• Compare different interpretations of a concept or story.
• Keep emotional questions optional — not mandatory.
• Let them wander into tangents; that’s where their best thinking happens.

Read This Next: 24 Signs That You’re an INTP Personality Type

The ENFJ

Don’t be afraid to get raw and intimate with ENFJs. These personality types enjoy deep-diving in conversation to uncover the true essence of someone’s values and personal strengths. They love discussing personal growth, dreams, concepts, relationships. They crave authentic connection and they tend to turn conversations into inspirational coaching sessions. Before you know it you’ll be walking away from the conversation feeling totally energized about the future and ready to unleash your potential on the world.

Conversation sweet spots with an ENFJ:
• Discuss personal growth, purpose, or lessons from the past year.
• Ask about their goals or hopes for the people they love.
• Share a struggle or dream you’re wrestling with.
• Explore relationship dynamics or human behavior together.
• Ask what inspires them most right now.
• Let the conversation go deeper — they’re built for depth.
• Appreciate their empathy; they’re giving you the good stuff.

Read This Next: 24 Signs That You’re an ENFJ Personality Type

The ENTJ

Whatever you do, make sure you don’t dominate the conversation with small-talk around ENTJs. They get extremely bored and restless when conversations stay on the surface. They want to talk about goals, strategies, concepts, and the big picture. Bring up a business idea, a theory, or a plan and ask for their unvarnished opinion. Let them envision the future and ask them where they’d like to see themselves in 15 years. Don’t be afraid to bring up “controversial” subjects or get into a debate (as long as the other people at the table won’t mind). Just make sure you debate respectfully and don’t mock them or step on any of their values.

Conversation sweet spots with an ENTJ:
• Ask about their long-term plans or ambitions.
• Share a problem and ask what they’d do first.
• Discuss business, leadership, or strategy topics.
• Explore future predictions or big-picture possibilities.
• Debate an idea respectfully. They enjoy challenge.
• Be direct; ambiguity drives them nuts.
• Ask what they’ve learned from a recent project or failure.

Read This Next: 10 Things You’ll Relate to if You’re an ENTJ

The INFJ

Be prepared to get really big picture with INFJs. They like to imagine and envision future scenarios, implications, and possibilities. They want to get existential – what’s the meaning of your life? What patterns do you see for the future? How can we make the world a better place for the next generation? They also like an intimate, authentic conversation. They enjoy being confided in and asked for advice, especially if it pertains to the future or relationships. Open your imagination and allow yourself to think beyond the confines of the current moment – the future is where they like to be.

Conversation sweet spots with an INFJ:
• Ask what insights or patterns they’ve noticed lately.
• Explore long-range hopes, fears, or possibilities.
• Talk about psychology, symbolism, or human nature.
• Share a meaningful personal dilemma and ask for their perspective.
• Ask what they’ve been thinking about when they can’t sleep.
• Let the conversation breathe; INFJs hate being rushed.
• Avoid interrupting — it can take a while for them to put words to their thoughts, and when they’re interrupted it feels like you just knocked over the 1000-piece puzzle they were building.

Read This Next: 24 Signs That You’re an INFJ Personality Type

The INTJ

The best way to intrigue an INTJ is to get really complex and big-picture with them. INTJs enjoy analyzing theories, future scenarios, and intricate problems. They hate being bored, and prolonged small-talk is a sure way to drive them mad. They enjoy discussing philosophy, science, business strategies, predictions, patterns, ambitions, and goals. Ask them if they’ve read or learned anything interesting lately. Ask for their input on a complex problem you’re facing (and we’re not talking relationship drama here). Listen to their responses and don’t be surprised if you find yourself falling down an exciting rabbit hole full of new discoveries and ideas.

Conversation sweet spots with an INTJ:
• Ask about the best idea they’ve encountered this year.
• Bring up a theory, study, or concept and analyze it together.
• Explore future scenarios or long-term predictions.
• Ask what they’re building, planning, or learning.
• Respect their independence in the conversation.
• Small talk is fine in small doses; but don’t keep the conversation there.

Read This Next: 24 Signs That You’re an INTJ Personality Type

The ESFP

With ESFPs more than anything it’s important to be authentic. Keep it real and don’t take yourself too seriously. Is there a funny situation you encountered recently? Is there an exciting opportunity or experience you’ve heard about? Stimulate their passion for action and real-life experiences by talking about the adventures you’ve had in life. Ask them about the most exciting experience of their lives, ask them what they would do if they had one day left to live, or tell them about an amazing new band you’ve heard! Laugh at their jokes, be honest, down-to-earth, and friendly.

Conversation sweet spots with an ESFP:
• Ask about their favorite recent experiences or adventures.
• Share a funny story — the more animated, the better.
• Talk about music, food, entertainment, or live events.
• Ask what they’d do if they could design the perfect day.
• Compliment something specific.
• Explore opportunities, not problems.
• Be authentic — pretense kills the mood.

Read This Next: What It Means to be an ESFP Personality Type

The ESTP

ESTPs have little patience for mundane chit-chat. These individuals thrive on action and experience. Challenge them to an arm-wrestling match after dinner or ask them about the most exciting experiences they’ve ever had. These types like talking about adventures, survival, and strategy. They like to talk WHILE being active so get up and walk around with them, throw a football around, or play a game together.

Conversation sweet spots with an ESTP:
• Ask about their most exciting or risky experiences.
• Talk while walking, tossing a ball, or doing something physical.
• Bring up a real-world problem and brainstorm solutions.
• Get into strategy: games, sports, business, survival.
• Swap funny stories and jokes; they love a good laugh.
• Be direct and honest; they hate evasiveness.
• Keep the energy up — dullness is the enemy.

Read This Next: 24 Signs That You’re an ESTP Personality Type

The ISFP

ISFPs are passionate people, but you may not always realize that from the outside. They can seem cool and reserved on the outside while inside they are churning with thoughts, ideas, and passions. It’s important to take your time to get to know them because they don’t like feeling interrogated. Show them respect by asking their opinion about things. Get them talking about their favorite bands, TV shows, or books! ISFPs are usually creative people – ask them about their projects or favorite hobbies. Whatever you do, just be prepared to listen and don’t be afraid to be quiet with them and simply enjoy their presence.

Conversation sweet spots with an ISFP:
• Ask about their creative projects or passions.
• Talk about music, aesthetics, or sensory experiences.
• Give space for quieter, reflective moments.
• Ask what’s inspired them lately.
• Share something sincere but not overwhelming.
• Respect boundaries; they warm slowly.
• Avoid pushy or prying questions.

Read This Next: 24 Signs That You’re an ISFP Personality Type

The ISTP

With ISTPs it’s important to approach the conversation in a casual, down-to-earth manner. Don’t take yourself too seriously or you might find yourself at the center of some friendly ribbing. ISTPs like conversations that revolve around projects, adventures, solutions, and experiences. Ask them what they like to do in their down-time, or ask them to help you figure out an impersonal problem that requires some analysis. Funny hypothetical scenarios can also be enjoyable for them. Questions like, “If you were stuck on a desert island, what three things would you bring with you?” can get the wheels in their head turning. Just don’t get too prying, personal, or pompous with them. They can’t stand arrogance and will enjoy bringing you down a notch if you get too boastful.

Conversation sweet spots with an ISTP:
• Ask what they’ve been fixing, building, or troubleshooting.
• Explore “how would you solve…” scenarios.
• Share interesting experiences or opportunities: a good hike you’ve been on, a new game you’ve played.
• Keep conversation casual and lightly humorous.
• Don’t demand emotional disclosure.
• Respect their independence and space.

Read This Next: ISTP Personality Profile

The ESFJ

ESFJs enjoy detailing the meaningful experiences of their lives with people. They like swapping personal stories and being confided in. They are usually polite, down-to-earth individuals and they’ll enjoy discussing a variety of topics as long as nobody is being patronizing, rude, or debative. Ask about their experiences or discuss solutions to real-world problems. They like being asked for advice about relationships and inter-personal issues because this gives them a chance to use their gift for understanding human needs and dynamics.

Conversation sweet spots with an ESFJ:
• Ask about their favorite family memories or traditions.
• Share personal updates or stories.
• Talk about relationships, community, or family.
• Ask for their perspective on an interpersonal dilemma.
• Compliment their hospitality or something they’ve done well.
• Show interest in their interests — they open up quickly.
• Keep the tone warm and polite.

The ESTJ

ESTJs are extremely ambitious, productive people, and they enjoy discussing goals, plans, and strategies with others. If you’ve got a business idea, a passion, or an area of study they’ll enjoy hearing about it and giving you their advice. They like to be asked their opinion, and their advice is often full of personal experience and practical solutions. Ask them about their projects and plans and be as direct as possible with them. Avoid being pretentious at all costs – there’s nothing they can’t abide more than people who take themselves too seriously or use big, embellished words just to make themselves look better than everyone else.

Conversation sweet spots with an ESTJ:
• Ask what they’ve been working toward lately.
• Share a project you’re stuck on and ask their advice.
• Talk about practical plans, systems, or problem-solving.
• Discuss work, responsibilities, or real-world achievements.
• Be clear and direct; they appreciate efficiency.
• Avoid melodrama or vague language.
• Share successes — they love celebrating progress.

The ISFJ

ISFJs tend to be very good listeners, so try to prioritize listening to them this Thanksgiving. Ask them about their hobbies and interests and actively pay attention. They enjoy discussing their interests in-depth, but they often keep these passions internalized because they don’t want to “bore” anyone. If you are attentive to them you’ll find that they have a whole world of fascinations and interests that make them come alive! They also like to be confided in and asked for advice. They are usually very insightful into human relationships and inter-personal dynamics and have wisdom they’re more than happy to share if asked. Whatever you do be polite, respectful, and respect their personal space.

Conversation sweet spots with an ISFJ:
• Ask about their hobbies or passions.
• Invite them to tell a meaningful story.
• Talk about shared experiences or family memories.
• Ask for practical wisdom — they have plenty.
• Express appreciation; they rarely get enough.
• Keep the conversation polite and steady.
• Avoid surprises, confrontations, or pushy questions.

The ISTJ

ISTJs are usually good-natured but private individuals. They enjoy a conversation that revolves around their current hobbies, interests, or plans. They like to be asked about their experience. If you’re working on a project, ask them if they have any advice or lessons that you could apply to what you are doing. Ask them about their favorite books and movies – this is a great way to get a glimpse into their inner worlds and passions. Whatever you do, don’t pry into their personal lives or meddle in their affairs. Unless you are extremely close with them they tend to hold their personal feelings very close to the chest.

Conversation sweet spots with an ISTJ:
• Ask about projects, tasks, or plans they’re refining.
• Talk about books, routines, or long-term goals.
• Invite them to share lessons learned from experience.
• Keep conversation factual and grounded.
• Respect their privacy; they open up slowly.
• Show interest in their expertise or skills.
• Avoid overly abstract or chaotic topics.

What Are Your Thoughts?

What do YOU like to talk about? Do you have any Thanksgiving success/horror stories? Let us know in the comments!

Find out more about your personality type in our eBooks, Discovering You: Unlocking the Power of Personality Type,  The INFJ – Understanding the Mystic,  The INFP – Understanding the Dreamer, and The INTJ – Understanding the Strategist. You can also connect with me via Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter!

 

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