Did you get an ENFJ personality type result in a questionnaire? That makes you one of the rarest types in the Myers-Briggs® system! Because ENFJs make up only 2.2% of the U.S. population, it’s pretty unusual to come across them in day-to-day life. You might be wondering if this is really what fits you best! That’s where this article can help! We’re going to explore 24 experiences or thoughts that ENFJs will relate to on a strong, gut level. Let’s get started!
Signs That You’re an ENFJ Personality Type
You “Read” People Without Even Trying
When you’re talking to someone you quickly pick up on the “Why” behind what they are saying. You read their nonverbal cues easily and pick up patterns in their behavior so that you can understand their motivations and core feelings. You’re often the first to notice when someone in a group feels uncomfortable, nervous, angry, sad, etc,.
You Want to Inspire People to Be Their Best Selves
Personal growth is nearly always on your mind. You’re constantly trying to evolve and learn and improve. A life without meaning and purpose is a tragic thing to you, so you’re always trying to hone in on what someone’s purpose or potential is and what your own potential is. You want to ignite something in other people that drives them to live up to their potential. You’re skilled at seeing people’s gifts and capabilities and how those can be used in a positive way.
You’re Always Thinking of What You “Should” Do
More than anything, you are guided by your values. When you experience a quiet moment in your life, you often find yourself analyzing your choices and trying to determine whether you’re living in alignment with your ethics and life goals. You have so many “should’s” and “should nots” guiding you in every decision that you make.
It’s Hard for You to Say No
When someone asks you for help, it’s very difficult for you to stay dispassionate and logical about whether or not you should really lend a hand. You often say yes, even when your schedule is bursting at the seams.
You See Talent Where Others Don’t
You have a gift for seeing the unique gifts and special “quirks” of other people. You believe that nobody is hopeless or without potential, and you want to inspire people to see that potential within themselves.
People Tell You Their Life Stories
Your authentic and empathic personality inspires people to confide their deepest and most troubling stories to you. It’s not uncommon for you to be approached by strangers who feel like sharing a secret with you. It often surprises you when people trust you with their lives so readily.
You Want to Articulate Your Vision
You want to give people a picture of what they can attain in life if they just work to live up to their potential. As an idealist, you also want to show people a world where there is more equality, compassion, justice, and empathy.
You Feel Like People Squabble About Meaningless Things too Often
You easily see the perspectives of many diverse people, and as a result, you rarely find yourself angered without having a degree of empathy as well. Your ability to see multiple perspectives allows you to be a skilled peacemaker. While you strive to stand up for what you believe in, you also would rather have a reasonable discussion where each person has an opportunity to express themselves, than a real fight.
If You’re a Parent, You’re Not Domineering
You are deeply devoted to your children and care more about listening to them than directing them. Your empathic form of parenting means that you feel that change starts in the heart, not on the outside with strict lists of rules and regimens. Some other parents might give you a hard time, calling you too “lenient.” But keep doing what you’re doing; your insight and compassion will be a powerful and positive influence in your child’s life.
You Like Having Things Settled and Organized
You like having a clear structure for both your home and work life. You plan ahead and work hard to achieve your goals. When important decisions need to be made you feel restless until the outcome has been decided. Leaving things open-ended and undecided causes you a great deal of stress.
You Easily Pick Up on Social Expectations/Rules
When you enter a new environment, you quickly realize what the expectations and social rules are. You can easily sense the general “vibe” of the room and act accordingly. You value tactfulness and good manners and usually present yourself well. You’re also quick to read up on cultural expectations and rules when you visit a new country/society.
You Enjoy Discussing “Taboo” Subjects
While you tend to have a good sense of propriety, you can also have a surprising interest in the bizarre or controversial. While some types shy away from discussing religion, politics, or potentially offensive things, these things deeply fascinate you. You’re more interested in big-picture concepts than small talk, and because of that, you’re drawn to subjects that people feel very strongly about. You’d rather discuss psychology than celebrity gossip, and you’d rather be confided in about serious relationship problems than make small talk about fashion or face cream.
You’re Fascinated by Human Relationships
Human dynamics are extremely interesting to you. While some people enjoy figuring out everything there is to know about cars, you enjoy figuring out the inner workings of human relationships. Getting to understand how different people connect, what they see in each other, what makes them tick – this is all information that gets you excited and curious.
You Often Anticipate People’s Needs Before They are Verbalized
Because you think so much about other people, you can often sense what they want or need before they even ask for it. This is especially true when it comes to emotional needs. You can quickly intuit other people’s emotions and inner struggles.
You’re Quick to Forgive
When you’ve been wronged, you can usually step into the other person’s shoes and understand what patterns led to their poor behavior. When someone tries to make amends with you you’re usually eager to hear their side of the story. As long as the apology is sincere, it’s easy for you to empathize with others and give them a second chance.
You Crave Creativity in Your Life
Whether you enjoy playing a musical instrument, writing poetry, or coloring in coloring books, you have to infuse some creativity into your day to feel content. In fact, according to the MBTI® Manual, females of your type are among the three highest on one out of two measures of creativity (MBTI® Manual – Third Edition, pg. 101).
You Process Your Emotions Through Music
Having an external way to process your emotions is vitally important to you. Just mulling over them on the inside can make you feel confused and unfulfilled. Finding a song that echoes the feelings in your heart helps you to feel a sense of relief when you’re emotionally overwhelmed.
You’re More Interested in What’s Going On Behind the Scenes Than What’s On the Surface
You look at the background processes at work in life more than the surface-level presentations. You spend time analyzing situations and people deeply, trying to understand their psychological motivations. You believe that life is filled with layers of meaning, and your goal is to find the deeper meaning behind every situation. For this reason, you tend to see a deeper motive behind the actions and words of others.
You Often “Just Know” Things Without Knowing Why
You get hunches and premonitions about things and you don’t really know where they come from. Thanks to your introverted intuition (your 2nd mental function) you might suddenly get a feeling that you need to call a friend or check on a family member only to realize they were in a desperate situation. You’ve learned to trust these hunches because they often lead you in an important direction. These hunches also give you incredible people skills and allow you to sense what other people need without being able to pinpoint why.
You’ve Been On a Lifelong Quest for Meaning
You want to understand the cosmic significance of everything that happens in life. You want to know what your purpose is, why you’re here, and what meaningful impact you can make on the world around you. You don’t want to get distracted by trivial daily details. Instead, you want to focus on the things that will matter when you reach the end of your life. For this reason, you are often interested in subjects like philosophy, psychology, religion, and personal growth.
When You’re Stressed, You Treat Yourself Harshly
In normal day-to-day life, you tend to be focused on the needs of the people around you. But when you’re stressed, you become abnormally detached and unemotional. You lose your typical insight into people and instead focus on your own shortcomings (and sometimes the shortcomings of others). You suddenly see errors in logic everywhere, and you feel fixated on correcting minor details. You beat yourself up over past mistakes, flaws in reasoning, and more. You can find out more about this here: What ENFJs Do When They’re Really Stressed Out.
You Get Detailed Visions in Your Mind of How Things Will Evolve
You have a very visual way of thinking, and you often get pictures in your mind of how things will develop over time. These images guide you and you often surprise people with your uncanny insight and awareness of future events or implications.
You Often Ask, “What Else is Going On Here?”
You quickly grasp the meaning behind words and are curious and somewhat suspicious when you’re only hearing one side of a story. You know that there is a layer of complexity behind how things appear on the surface. Your goal is to grasp the meaning behind words and you instinctively read between the lines.
You Can Forget Someone’s Name, But Remember Their Life Story
You struggle to remember facts like names, birth dates, or phone numbers. But you can quickly remember what someone told you about their life, the impression they had on you, and numerous other details about their lives that hold significant meaning. For example, you might remember that someone is a widow, a school teacher, and seems shy and stand-offish around people they don’t know. You might remember that they tend to stand on the outer corners of the room rather than circulating through the other groups. You might remember the way they lovingly speak to their children, and how strong their bond seems to be. You might have wondered what led them to be a teacher, and how they’ve coped with being a widow and raising children on their own. You might remember all this, but completely blank out on what their first name actually is.
What Are Your Thoughts?
Are you an ENFJ personality type? Do you find these traits relatable? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!
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