Which Personality Types Find It Hardest to Relate to People?
Why is it that some people seem to click with others as easily as Velcro, while others feel like theyโre stuck trying to plug a USB in the wrong wayโover and over again? I wanted to find out, so I asked my email list, clients, and followers to take a survey about their personality types and how they handled relationships and emotions. 6,291 people have responded so far (and if you want to add your voice to the survey you can do so here). One of the questions I asked was, โDo you find it easy to relate to other people?โ Most of our respondents (78.24%) were women, 18.70% were men, 1.81% were non-binary, and 1.24% decided to keep their cards close to their chest.
The results were fascinating! Knowing this information isnโt just interesting; itโs useful. It can help you understand yourself, your friends, or even that one coworker who seems to speak a different language entirely. So grab a cup of coffee, settle in, and letโs get started!
Not sure what your personality type is? Take our new personality questionnaire here. Or you can take the official MBTIยฎ here.
Which Myers-Briggsยฎ Types Find It Hardest to Relate to People?
Table of contents
#1 INTJs
INTJs had the hardest time relating to others in our survey, with only 35.04% saying they often or easily relate to other people. But letโs not mistake that for lack of interest or care. If youโre an INTJโor you know oneโyouโve probably noticed theyโre not the types to jump into a group chat and start sharing memes or ask how your dayโs going for small talkโs sake. Theyโre the people quietly building a complex strategy in their mind, one that could possibly revolutionize the world.
Why Is Relating Hard for INTJs?
The cognitive functions give us a big clue here. INTJs lead with Introverted Intuition (Ni), which means their minds are constantly processing abstract ideas, long-term strategies, and future possibilities. They see the universe as a puzzle to solve or a system to optimize, and while thatโs incredible for innovation, it doesnโt always leave a lot of room for chatting about, well, feelings.
Their auxiliary function, Extraverted Thinking (Te), reinforces this by prioritizing efficiency and effectiveness. INTJs often ask themselves, โWhatโs the purpose of this interaction? Is this moving a plan forward?โ If it feels like a conversation is going nowhere (and, letโs face it, most small talk is aimless), theyโd rather bow out gracefully than pretend to care about the weather.
Then thereโs Introverted Feeling (Fi) in the tertiary slot, which is more about understanding oneโs own emotions and values than reading other peopleโs emotions. While INTJs may know exactly how they feel and why it can be harder for them to gauge social dynamics and the emotional expectations and feelings of other people.
The World-Changing Visionaries
Hereโs the thing: INTJs care, deeply. Itโs just that their care often shows up in unconventional ways. Theyโre the people who might struggle to join a conversation about weekend plans but will spend hours perfecting a research paper that could change lives. One INTJ client I had felt disconnected from their community but found fulfillment in spearheading a sustainability initiative and getting everyone involved. They werenโt relating in the moment, but their actions showed their heart.
INTJs arenโt coldโtheyโre just selective. Theyโre not unfeelingโtheyโre focused. And when they do find their people, those bonds tend to run deep, built on shared values, intellectual curiosity, and a mutual desire to make the world a better place. So if youโre an INTJ reading this and feeling a little misunderstood, take heart. You might not be the life of the party, but youโre the architect of the futureโand thatโs a pretty incredible role to play.
Find out more about INTJs: 21 Hobbies That INTJs Love
#2 INTPs
Only 38.71% of INTPs said that they often or easily relate to others. But letโs not label them as detached or disinterestedโINTPs care a lot. Itโs just that their care often comes wrapped in layers of curiosity, intensive analysis, and the occasional existential spiral.
Why Is Relating Hard for INTPs?
At the heart of it, INTPs lead with Introverted Thinking (Ti), which means theyโre wired to analyze, deconstruct, and understand the world logically. When someoneโs gushing about their weekend drama, the INTP might be quietly asking themselves, โWhatโs the underlying cause of this tension? What components led to this and whatโs the most logical way out?โ
INTPs pair their Ti with Extraverted Intuition (Ne), which loves chasing down ideas and exploring endless possibilities. This makes them fantastic in brainstorming sessions but sometimes frustrating in emotional conversations. If someone says, โI feel sad,โ the INTP might respond, โHave you considered that sadness is just an evolutionary mechanism for social bonding?โ Great insight, wrong moment.
On top of that, their Introverted Sensing (Si) sits in the tertiary position, which means INTPs have a certain respect for traditions and routines, but it isnโt their strongest trait. They arenโt naturally tuned into social norms or the โthis is just how we do thingsโ aspect of human connection. Combine all this, and you get someone who probably really values friendships but sometimes misses the memo on how to build them.
The Quirky, Brilliant Outsider
One INTP client once told me they felt like an alien at social gatherings. Theyโd show up, try to engage, and then feel utterly out of sync when the conversation turned to, say, reality TV. But when they finally found a friend who could geek out with them about personality theory or Immanuel Kantโs philosophy? They were inseparable. INTPs crave intellectual connectionโtheyโre not here for surface-level chit-chat, but give them a โweirdโ topic, and theyโll talk your ear off for hours.
What INTPs may lack in relatability, they more than make up for in their desire to understand and support people in their own unique way. They might not read the room perfectly, but theyโll happily help you brainstorm solutions to your biggest life challenges. And if you need someone to build a spreadsheet to categorize every major decision youโve ever made? INTPs are your people.
Discover more about INTPs: The Dark Side of the INTP Personality Type
#3 ISTJs
At 40%, ISTJs werenโt far ahead of INTPs in terms of ease of relating to others. And honestly, it makes sense. ISTJs arenโt here to win popularity contests or charm the room with witty banter. Theyโre practical, grounded, and often laser-focused on tasks and sustainability โmore so than social finesse.
Why Is Relating Hard for ISTJs?
ISTJs lead with Introverted Sensing (Si), which means theyโre naturally attuned to details, routines, and the lessons of the past. While thatโs great for reliability and dependability, it doesnโt exactly scream โlife of the party.โ ISTJs like to stick with what they know works, and if that means avoiding overly emotional or unpredictable social situations, theyโre fine with that.
Their auxiliary function, Extraverted Thinking (Te), adds a layer of practicality to their interactions. They often think, โWhatโs the point of this conversation? Is there a task to accomplish here?โ If the answer is no, they may quietly retreat to a corner where they can observe instead of engage.
The tertiary function, Introverted Feeling (Fi), means ISTJs have deep values and emotions, but they often keep them hidden. They might feel a strong sense of care and loyalty for their loved ones, but expressing those feelings in real-time? Thatโs tricky. ISTJs are more likely to show their affection through actions, like fixing your sink or remembering your favorite coffee order, than through words.
The Quiet Guardians
I once had an ISTJ client who said, โI donโt see the point in chit chat. Iโd rather get to know someone by working on a project together. That will help me to know what theyโre really all about.โ And thatโs ISTJs in a nutshell. Theyโre not out there looking for a lot of small talk or casual connectionsโtheyโre more likely to connect with you while putting action towards a meaningful goal.
But donโt mistake their quiet demeanor for lack of heart. ISTJs are some of the most reliable and thoughtful people youโll meet. They might not gush about their feelings, but theyโll show up at 3 a.m. if your car breaks down or carefully organize the meal plan at a family gathering because they know how much it means to you.
Find out more about ISTJs: The ISTJ Shadow Functions
#4 ESTJs
At 46.67%, ESTJs are just shy of the halfway mark when it comes to finding it easy to relate to others. This might surprise some, considering their natural leadership skills and ability to take charge in group settings. But hereโs the thing: ESTJs arenโt here to have a heart-to-heart about emotionsโtheyโre here to get things done.
Why Can Relating Be Hard for ESTJs?
ESTJs lead with Extraverted Thinking (Te), the cognitive function of efficiency, organization, and logical decision-making. For ESTJs, life is a series of checkboxes to tick off. Small talk? Not on the list. Emotional hand-holding? Only if it helps move the project forward. While this makes them fantastic at managing tasks and motivating teams, it can sometimes make personal connections feel like a second priority.
Their auxiliary Introverted Sensing (Si) helps them stay grounded in past experiences and proven methods. This gives them a strong sense of tradition and practicality but can make them resistant to abstract, โtouchy-feelyโ conversations. Theyโre much more comfortable talking about a family recipe than dissecting your existential crisis.
Tertiary Extraverted Intuition (Ne) does give them a spark of creativity and open-mindedness, but it doesnโt always shine in social interactions unless the conversation is particularly stimulating or goal-oriented.
The Natural Organizers
One ESTJ client I worked with said, โItโs not that I donโt care about people; I just donโt always know how to show it.โ They told me theyโd planned a perfect family vacation down to the minute, thinking it would show love and appreciation, only to realize their family just wanted to relax and hang out without a plan. This is the ESTJ conundrum: they want to help, but their focus on results can sometimes overshadow the softer side of connection.
But make no mistakeโESTJs care deeply about the people in their lives. Theyโll show up when it matters, make sure everyone is taken care of, and keep things running smoothly. They may not be the ones to sit down and ask, โHow are you, really?โ but theyโll be there when you need practical advice or a steady hand to guide the way.
#5 โ ISTPs
At 52.78%, ISTPs are a little over the halfway mark for finding it easy to relate to others. They arenโt ones to force connections or pretend to be someone theyโre not. Theyโre the people who show up, do their thing, and leave you wondering if they secretly have a superhero alter ego (because they totally might).
Why Is Relating Hard for ISTPs?
ISTPs lead with Introverted Thinking (Ti), which means theyโre all about understanding and logic. They like to figure out how things workโmachines, systems, relationships. But when it comes to emotions? Letโs just say theyโre more likely to take apart an engine than analyze someoneโs feelings.
Their auxiliary Extraverted Sensing (Se) makes them incredibly in tune with the physical world. Theyโre action-oriented, living in the moment and ready to dive into whatever catches their interest. This makes them adventurous and fun, but it can also mean theyโre not super focused on the emotional undercurrents of a conversation.
Tertiary Introverted Intuition (Ni) gives them a knack for seeing patterns and deeper meanings, but itโs more of a subtle undertone than a driving force. Emotional connection isnโt impossible for ISTPsโit just isnโt always their first instinct.
The Lone Wolves
One ISTP client once told me, โI donโt need a lot of people in my life. Just a few good ones.โ Thatโs the ISTP way. Theyโre independent to the core and donโt tend to seek out a broad range of relationships, focusing instead on a select few.
#6 ENTJs
With 55% saying they find it easy to relate to others, ENTJs are a bit of a mixed bag when it comes to social connection. Theyโre natural leaders and visionaries, but their direct and goal-oriented nature can sometimes make them come across as a little intense.
Why Can Relating Be Hard for ENTJs?
ENTJs lead with Extraverted Thinking (Te), which means theyโre wired to focus on efficiency, objectivity, and tasks. When theyโre in a conversation, theyโre spotting logical inconsistencies, troubleshooting, and looking to provide solutions, not to empathically absorb what the other person is feeling.
Their auxiliary Introverted Intuition (Ni) helps them see long-term strategies and big-picture ideas, but it can also make them seem a little โin their own worldโ at times. ENTJs are always thinking five steps ahead, which can make it hard for them to slow down and focus on the present moment and just โbeโ with another person.
Their tertiary Extraverted Sensing (Se) gives them a flair for action and charisma, which makes them more engaging than they realize. But since their dominant functions are so task-focused, they can unintentionally steamroll over emotional subtleties in their quest for progress.
The Visionary Leaders
One ENTJ client I worked with joked, โIโm great at directing people, but terrible at remembering their birthdays.โ I had to laugh because I know several other ENTJs who would agree. They want to make a difference and have good friendships, but they often prioritize leading, organizing, and strategizing over emotional bonding.
That said, ENTJs can form incredibly deep and meaningful connections when they find people who share their vision or appreciate their ambition. They seek out relationships where intellectual discovery is front and center. And while they may not always express their emotions in the warmest way, their vision and commitment are undeniable..
#7 – ESTPs
At 70%, ESTPs are cruising near the top when it comes to finding it easy to relate to others. And honestly, are we surprised? ESTPs are often the charismatic daredevils of the Myers-Briggsยฎ world. They can charm their way into (or out of) just about anything, whether itโs a conversation or a last-minute trip to Vegas. But donโt let the confidence fool youโthereโs more to ESTPs than meets the eye.
Why Is Relating Easier for ESTPs?
ESTPs lead with Extraverted Sensing (Se), which means theyโre fully plugged into the present moment. They notice whatโs happening around themโevery nuance, every opportunityโand they use that awareness to connect with others effortlessly. Whether itโs cracking a joke at just the right time or adapting to the vibe of a room, ESTPs are social chameleons.
Their auxiliary Introverted Thinking (Ti) gives them a knack for quick analysis, making them sharp, witty, and excellent problem-solvers in social situations. They can make you laugh while they fix your iPhone and everything in between.
And last but not least: Extraverted Feeling (Fe). They can easily read the room and sense otherโs emotions. Theyโre great at engaging, making people laugh, or diffusing tense situations (if they want to). That said, digging into deep emotional conversations? Thatโs more of a stretch. More heavy heart-to-heart talks can make them feel drained in a hurry.
The Daredevil Connectors
One ESTP respondent commented, โI donโt want to talk about feelingsโI want to DO something!โ They meant it. ESTPs love action, whether itโs a spontaneous road trip, a game of basketball, or grabbing the controllers for a Call of Duty marathon. They relate best through shared experiences rather than sitting down to talk things out.
#8 โ ISFPs
At 73.81%, ISFPs usually have no trouble relating to others. They know how to quiet their minds and just โbeโ with another person, giving them space to express themselves fully. They might not always put themselves out there, but when they do, their sincerity makes a big impact.
Why Is Relating Easier for ISFPs?
ISFPs lead with Introverted Feeling (Fi), which means they have a deep, internal sense of what matters to them and what gives life meaning. They might not wear their hearts on their sleeves, but when they connect with someone, itโs genuine. When someone else is going through a problem, they know how to quiet their mind and really actively listen. Then they put themselves in the other personโs shoes, imagining how they would respond in a similar situation or reflecting on a similar situation theyโve experienced in the past. This helps them to relate in a profoundly personal way.
Their auxiliary Extraverted Sensing (Se) helps them stay present and engaged in the moment. ISFPs are the ones whoโll notice the little thingsโlike the way your voice changes when youโre upset or the sunset you didnโt think anyone else saw. This attentiveness makes them skilled at relating, even if theyโre not the loudest person in the room.
With Introverted Intuition (Ni) in the tertiary spot, ISFPs also have a subtle knack for reading between the lines. They may not always articulate it, but they get people in a way that feels almost instinctive.
The Gentle Connectors
An ISFP respondent stated, โI donโt need a big group of friendsโI just want to feel like I matter to the ones I have.โ Theyโre not about impressing the crowd or chasing popularity; theyโre about forming connections that feel real and meaningful.
ISFPs relate best in calm, intimate settingsโover coffee, a shared hobby, or even a quiet walk in the park. Theyโre the kind of friends whoโll remember your favorite song, make you a playlist, and leave you wondering how they always know exactly what you need.
Find out more about ISFPs: How ISFPs Say “I Love You”
#9 โ INFPs
At 80.60%, INFPs are soaring high on the relatability scaleโand itโs no wonder. These empathetic, idealistic dreamers are masters of emotional connection. Theyโre the ones who can sit with you through your darkest days, hand you a tissue, and give you permission to express yourself in a raw, messy, real way.
Why Is Relating Easier for INFPs?
INFPs lead with Introverted Feeling (Fi), which makes them deeply in tune with their own emotions and values. But hereโs the magical part: they also have an uncanny ability to hold space for othersโ feelings, even when theyโre vastly different from their own. Theyโre the people whoโll nod thoughtfully and say, โI donโt totally get what youโre going through, but Iโm here for you.โ And they mean it.
Their auxiliary Extraverted Intuition (Ne) adds a dash of creative thinking to their relatability. Theyโre fantastic at coming up with analogies, exploring ideas, and finding unique ways to connect with people. If you say, โI feel like a puzzle missing a piece,โ the INFP will probably reply, โWhat if youโre not missing a pieceโwhat if youโre a new kind of puzzle?โ
Their Introverted Sensing (Si) in the tertiary spot means they also appreciate the little, nostalgic details that make people feel seen. Theyโll remember your favorite childhood story or the weird snack you loved in middle school, and theyโll bring it up just when you need a smile.
The Empathetic Listeners
I once had an INFP client who said, โI like being there for people, but I do it through giving them freedom to express themselves more than telling them what to do or how to fix things.โ Thatโs INFP energy to a tee. Theyโre not about directing your life, but more about creating stillness and space for you to find yourself. Theyโre the friends whoโll stay up all night talking about life, love, and the universe, and leave you feeling like youโve been seen in a way you never thought possible.
Discover more about INFPs: The Dark Side of the INFP Personality Type
#10 INFJs
At 82.09%, INFJs are right up there with the most relatable types, and if youโve ever met one, you know why. These intuitive, empathetic souls have a way of making you feel like youโre the only person in the roomโlike they get you on a level you didnโt even know existed. Itโs borderline magical.
Why Is Relating Easier for INFJs?
INFJs lead with Introverted Intuition (Ni), which means theyโre always looking for deeper meanings and connections. They see patterns in peopleโs behaviors, motivations, and emotions that others might miss. This gives them an uncanny ability to โreadโ people, making their interactions feel deep and meaningful.
Their auxiliary Extraverted Feeling (Fe) is the ultimate social glue. It helps them tune into the emotions of others and respond in a way that makes people feel seen and valued. INFJs arenโt just listeningโtheyโre absorbing your feelings like emotional sponges.
With Introverted Thinking (Ti) in the tertiary spot, INFJs also enjoy diving into intellectual conversations. Theyโll happily discuss philosophy, psychology, or the deeper mysteries of life, all while making you feel like a co-creator in the discussion.
The Thoughtful Connectors
One INFJ client once told me, โI canโt just relate to someone halfwayโI need to go deep or it doesnโt feel real.โ Theyโre not here for surface-level chit-chat. They want to understand your soul, your struggles, and your dreams.
But beware: while INFJs are fantastic at relating to others, they can sometimes feel misunderstood themselves. They give so much in relationships that they occasionally wonder, โDoes anyone truly get me?โ If youโve got an INFJ in your life, remind them theyโre just as worthy of love and connection as they make everyone else feel.
Find out more about INFJs: 21 Hobbies that INFJs Love
#11 ESFPs
At 83.33%, ESFPs find it usually easy to relate to people. These bubbly, warm, and adventurous personalities are masters of turning strangers into friends and awkward silences into unforgettable moments.
Why Is Relating Easier for ESFPs?
ESFPs lead with Extraverted Sensing (Se), which means theyโre fully tuned into the here and now. Theyโre the people who notice when someoneโs feeling left out or when the energy in the room needs a boostโand theyโre quick to step in and fix it.
Their auxiliary Introverted Feeling (Fi) gives them a deep sense of personal values and authenticity. ESFPs are all about keeping it real and being authentic, often in a loud and proud way. This sincerity and openness makes others feel safe to share their own real and sometimes messy emotions and thoughts. This combination of Se and Fi creates a natural warmth that makes them irresistibly relatable.
Their Extraverted Thinking (Te) in the tertiary position means they can get things done when needed, but itโs usually wrapped in charm and humor. Theyโre not just relatableโtheyโre efficient about it.
The Party Starters
One ESFP respondent said, โI donโt do boring.โ And they meant it. ESFPs are all about bringing people together and creating memories, whether itโs throwing a spontaneous barbecue or organizing an impromptu dance-off.
But donโt mistake their fun-loving nature for superficiality. ESFPs have a knack for connecting on a deeper level, too. Theyโll be the first to notice when youโre feeling down and the first to cheer you upโlikely with an adventure or a well-timed joke.
#12 ISFJs
84.91% of ISFJs said itโs easy to relate to other people, and Iโm not surprised. ISFJs are the kind of people who remember your birthday, your favorite coffee order, and that random story you told them six months ago. They work hard to relate to others, sense their emotions, and create a feeling of warmth and connection.
Why Is Relating Easier for ISFJs?
ISFJs lead with Introverted Sensing (Si), which means theyโre detail-oriented and attuned to the needs of others. They remember the little things that make people feel seen and valued, like how you like your tea or that you prefer hugs over handshakes. And then they combine that withโฆ
Extraverted Feeling (Fe). This function gives them an ability to โread the roomโ and sense the emotions of others. ISFJs are the ones whoโll ask, โHow are you, really?โโand then actually listen to your answer. They donโt just relate to others; they make others feel safe.
Their Introverted Thinking (Ti) in the tertiary position means they enjoy analyzing situations and solving problems for their friends. They combine their Introverted Thinking with Extraverted Feeling to figure out how people tick, what makes them the way they are, and analyze relationships.
The Quiet Caretakers
One ISFJ client told me, โI just want everyone to be okay.โ And that sums up ISFJs perfectly. Theyโre the friends whoโll show up with soup when youโre sick, remember your dogโs birthday, and make you feel like the most important person in the world.
#13 ENTPs
At a whopping 90%, ENTPs find it pretty easy to relate to others and form connections. How? Theyโre equal parts charming, quick-witted, and endlessly curious. ENTPs can turn any conversation into an engaging debate or an opportunity to explore new ideas, which makes them fun, fascinating, and thought-provoking.
Why Is Relating Easier for ENTPs?
ENTPs lead with Extraverted Intuition (Ne), which means theyโre always looking for new ideas and possibilities. This makes them incredibly open-minded and adaptable in conversations. Whether you want to talk about philosophy, pop culture, or the weird dream you had last night, the ENTP will jump right in with a unique take youโve probably never heard before.
Their auxiliary Introverted Thinking (Ti) gives them a sharp, analytical mind that they use to keep conversations interesting. Theyโre not just talking for the sake of itโtheyโre dissecting, questioning, and challenging ideas in a way that keeps people engaged.
Their Extraverted Feeling (Fe) in the tertiary spot means theyโre surprisingly good at reading the room and adjusting their approach to make others feel connected. While they might occasionally push buttons for fun, they rarely cross the line into actual meanness.
The Playful Conversationalists
ENTPs are genuinely curious about everyone they meet, which makes them incredibly engaging. If a conversation gets dull, theyโll find a unique angle on an otherwise boring topic to make it more exciting. Theyโre the ones whoโll argue with you for hours about whether pineapple belongs on pizza and then laugh with you about how ridiculous the whole conversation was.
#14 ENFPs
At 97.87%, ENFPs land just shy of the very top, but letโs face itโtheyโre still incredibly skilled in the world of relating and connection. These quirky, enthusiastic dreamers have a way of making people feel like theyโve known them forever, even if they just met five minutes ago.
Why Is Relating So Easy for ENFPs?
ENFPs lead with Extraverted Intuition (Ne), which means theyโre constantly exploring ideas, possibilities, and, yes, people. Theyโre curious about everything and everyone, and that genuine interest is contagious. ENFPs donโt just want to talk to you; they want to know your life story, your dreams, and maybe even your thoughts on alien life.
Their auxiliary Introverted Feeling (Fi) gives them a desire to be real and sincere, and to encourage that in others as well. ENFPs are deeply attuned to their own values and emotions, and they donโt shy away from the deeper and messier subjects others tend to shy away from. They want to create space to help others feel safe in self-expression. You could confess the weirdest thing about yourself to an ENFP, and theyโd be impressed rather than put-off.
With Extraverted Thinking (Te) in the tertiary slot, ENFPs can also get things done when theyโre motivated. While their focus might wander at times (hello, shiny object syndrome), their enthusiasm for people and ideas is unstoppable.
The Energizing Enthusiasts
ENFPs are the ones whoโll spontaneously invite you to a road trip, talk spirituality with you over coffee, and get into your shoes to try to understand your story in life.
But their relatability isnโt just about fun and games. ENFPs genuinely care about making connections that matter. They want to inspire you, cheer you on, and remind you that life is full of possibilities.
Discover more about ENFPs: ENFP Grip Stress: What It Is and How to Cope
#15 ESFJs
At 98.8%, ESFJs find it simple to connect and relate to others. These warm, caring individuals practically ooze friendliness and enjoy swapping personal stories and shared experiences. Theyโre the ones who bring cookies to the meeting, remember everyoneโs birthday, and find common ground in the midst of an argument.
Why Is Relating So Easy for ESFJs?
ESFJs lead with Extraverted Feeling (Fe), making them natural relationship builders. They thrive on harmony and connection, and they have a sixth sense for what people need emotionally. If youโre feeling down, theyโre probably going to noticeโand offer comfort, likely in the form of baked goods or a heartfelt pep talk.
Their auxiliary Introverted Sensing (Si) adds a layer of practicality and attentiveness. ESFJs are the friends whoโll not only remember that youโre lactose intolerant but also bring a dairy-free dessert to your dinner party. They donโt just care about people; they show they care in tangible, thoughtful ways.
With Extraverted Intuition (Ne) in the tertiary spot, ESFJs also bring a sprinkle of spontaneity and creativity to their interactions. Theyโre not afraid to mix things up or crack an unexpected joke at just the right time to break you out of a bad day.
The Warm Hosts
One ESFJ client told me, โI try to make everyone feel like they belong.โ At their best, they pay attention to the stories and histories of people, letting them know that their experience matters. They create meaningful routines and traditions that help people feel connected, seen, and valued.
#16 ENFJs
With 100% of ENFJs saying they find it easy to relate to others, we officially crown them the kings and queens of connection. These are the people who can walk into a room full of strangers and leave with a dozen new best friends, a book club invitation, and probably an inside joke or two.
Why Is Relating So Easy for ENFJs?
ENFJs lead with Extraverted Feeling (Fe), the ultimate connection superpower. Theyโre hyper-attuned to the emotions and needs of others, often sensing what someone feels before that person even realizes it themselves.
Their auxiliary Introverted Intuition (Ni) adds a layer of insight that makes their connections feel deeper and more meaningful. They spot patterns, perspectives, and insights seemingly out of the blue. ENFJs donโt just nod along in conversations; they ask the kinds of questions that make you go, โWow, Iโve never thought about it that way before.โ
With Extraverted Sensing (Se) in the tertiary position, they also have a knack for being present and engaging in the moment. They can actively be present with you, while noticing changes in your body language and tone of voice that clue them in on your deeper feelings.
The Heartfelt Connectors
One ENFJ respondent said to me, โI just want to leave people better than I found them.โ ENFJs are the types to help you deconstruct the meaning in a dream or send you an encouraging text just when you need it.
If thereโs one โdownsideโ to their relatability, itโs that ENFJs can stretch themselves thin trying to be everything to everyone. If youโre an ENFJ reading this, make sure youโre also taking time to assess your own needs and figure out your own dreams! Itโs okay to prioritize yourself. In fact, itโs something you should make a habit.
Discover more about ENFJs: ENFJ Characters We Can’t Help But Love
What Do You Think?
Do you feel like itโs easy to relate to other people or do you find yourself confused and overwhelmed? Do you have any tips or insights for other readers? Let us know in the comments!
Find out more about your personality type in our eBooks,ย Discovering You: Unlocking the Power of Personality Type, ย The INFJ โ Understanding the Mystic, ย The INFP โ Understanding the Dreamer, andย The INTJ โ Understanding the Strategist.
Subscribe to Our Newsletter
Want to discover more about personality type? Get the inside scoop with Susan Storm on all things typological, along with special subscriber freebies, and discounts on new eBooks and courses! Join our newsletter today!
INFP: Empathizing yes. At first, itโs a bit difficult to connect with people. However, Iโve had strangers. Iโll never see again. Tell me their deepest personal stories whether itโs on a train or even someone like my neurologist. Someone who over apologizes for not telling patients those things. You wonder why people do that and itโs because they trust you. They somehow are aware of what they believe you bring and they know that youโre not going to post name address and every dirty detail on social media.
I think people may have different ideas of what it means to โrelateโ to others, which can make a difference in how they answer the question.
Do I make friends easily? No.
Can I understand how others feel and think? Yes.
Can they understand how I feel and think? No.
Do I build rapport with people? No.
Do I have charisma or charm? No.
Can I talk about things that interest them but not me? Only if they bring it up.