5 Ways to Annoy an ESTJ

· · · ·

ESTJs are the “Supervisors” of the MBTI world, and they live up to their title well. These logical thinkers are incredible at getting things done, at delegating, and at seeing tasks through to completion. While they might seem kind of “bossy” from this description, they actually are very personable and can have a fun, light-hearted sense of humor that draws other people in. My mother-in-law is an ESTJ and I’ve always been impressed by her motivation, her warmth, and her determined nature. ESTJs are loyal, logical, responsible, and efficient. Naturally, anything that is the opposite of those qualities is bound to annoy them, but let’s focus on five things they find particularly frustrating:

Not sure what your personality type is? Take our new personality questionnaire here. Or you can take the official MBTI® here.

#1 – Laziness

As with ENTJs, ESTJs are very efficient, hard-working people. They have very little respect for people who lounge around all day or don’t take their work seriously. They appreciate dedication and loyalty and are often extremely proficient at their own jobs. In fact, ESTJs have the second-highest household income of any of the 16 Myers-Briggs personality types.

#2 – Procrastination

ESTJs have very little patience for procrastination or dilly-dallying. They want someone who can get the job done when they say they will. ESTJs are Te (Extraverted Thinking) dominant, which means when they get an idea or an inspiration they like to get it finished as soon as possible. This can sometimes put them at odds with their introverted thinking friends and partners, as they like to keep their options open and learn as much as possible before moving forward on something. There are advantages and disadvantages to both methods, but procrastination is likely something that will grate on an ESTJs nerves.

#3 – Showing Up Late

ESTJs like to have a plan and follow it through to completion. Don’t leave them waiting if you want to give a good impression! If you say you’re going to be somewhere at 3:30, try to be there by 3:15. Responsibility and following through on your word are both very important to ESTJs, and lateness to an ESTJ means that you don’t care enough about them to follow through on the time you committed to.

#4 – Messiness

ESTJs love an organized atmosphere. They like to keep their outer world clean and efficiently set up. Being in a messy environment for long or having to live with someone who belittles their desire for “neatness” can make them feel overwhelmed and stressed. While ESTJs can be very loving towards their less-organized friends, a continual atmosphere of disorganization will eventually cause them stress and deep annoyance.

#5 – Belittling Their Beliefs or Political Viewpoints

ESTJs have a strong respect for tradition and for their values – and they can often get deeply offended if someone belittles those values. They tend to have very strong political and/or religious affiliations, and can get very stressed and angry if you carelessly put down those organizations they are part of. What others may see as “harmless banter” about religion or politics can be deeply offensive to an ESTJ. So be careful with your words, and try to bring up disagreements in as respectful a way as possible.

Find out more about your personality type in our eBook, Discovering You: Unlocking the Power of Personality Type.


Similar Posts


  1. Im an ESTJ. This list needs help. 🙂
    #1 N or P type spontaneously without reason or warning going against the agreed upon plan because they suddenly had an urge to be rebellious (N) or got bored (P). This is annoying beyond belief. If we’ve discussed and agreed to a plan and you don’t follow through for completely irrational and dumb reasons, especially last min without warning or discussion, you will incur our wrath.

    #2 Withholding information. It doesn’t matter why, but keeping info from us is aggravating. We need ALL the facts! We can avoid disasters this way.

    #3 Not listening to the “right” thing to do (usually because you’re a rebellious N or ditzy P that can’t focus and needs distractions, aka “adventure”) to the result of your pain and suffering, after we’ve clearly told you in detail how to avoid that pain & suffering. Every estj can say “I told you so” a million times because they’re usually right and very wise. Watching someone throw away the right thing to do and refuse to do it, only to get hurt as you warned they would, is so annoying. Listen, people. 🙂

    Those are my top 3. Can you tell I have FP types in my life? Ughhh.

    1. This is way more “spot on” than the original list! Thanks for sharing.. I feel so understood and validated. #fellowESTJ

    2. Yes, this is so true! I never say ‘I told you so’, as I’m normally just really sad for them and feel bad that I couldn’t stop them doing whatever bad thing it was. I always want to stop people getting hurt, but they never want to listen. The ‘S’ part of me means I can usually instinctively tell how a situation will go, backed up by logic. I’m very very rarely incorrect. But people assume you are just being bossy for the sake of it, instead of really just wanting to save them pain in future.

  2. Even simpler. Put an ESTJ (ideally one who has gone bad) with an INTP (ideally one who has stress and is going through a bad patch). Sit back and observe them both at their most annoyed.

    1. Weirdly, my fiance and I met in an incredibly high stress situation and immediately bonded over it. Probably more so that we would have done in a non-stressful situation if we had met somewhere else. He somehow knows exactly how to calm me down and vice versa, and our skills compliment the other’s. Although if we weren’t both very logical then we wouldn’t be able to communicate effectively and couldn’t work together. We know we can both spew out stressed thoughts at the other person and as long as it’s based on logic (which it is) then the other one can take it well. So we rely heavily on the T part.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.