ENFJs are one of the most inspiring, charismatic personality types you will find anywhere. Because they are so determined to bring out the full potential of others, psychologist David Keirsey called them The Teachers.  ENFJs are emotionally aware, understanding, enthusiastic, and insightful. Some of the most famous inspirational leaders of all-time, people like Martin Luther King Jr., and Nelson Mandela, were ENFJs.

When I tried to find out the major pet peeves of ENFJs, they really only brought up issues that were extremely important to them. They aren’t ones to nitpick over little details – in fact, they are very forgiving of minor annoyances. But these five things will really get under the ENFJs skin:

Unreliability


ENFJs follow through on their promises and show respect to others by being there for them when they say they will be. This can mean anything from doing a task they promised they’d do to showing up somewhere on time. If you consistently show up late, shirk obligations, and break promises, you’re bound to rattle the otherwise accepting ENFJ.

Lying

ENFJs seem to have a sixth sense for phony behavior, and they can’t stand dishonesty. Because of their strong Extraverted Feeling (Fe) they are easily able to perceive minor changes in body language and eye contact that convey dishonesty, and because of their Intuition they can also sense insightfully when something doesn’t add up. So if you want to stay on an ENFJs good side, by all means, be true and authentic.

Disloyalty

“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”
– Oprah Winfrey, ENFJ

ENFJs are deeply faithful in their relationships, and are turned off by people who flip-flop between friendship and disinterest. They are extremely generous and devoted to the ones they care about, so they quickly lose interest in fair-weather friends.

Selfishness

“Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?”
– Martin Luther King Jr.

ENFJs live and breathe to bring out the potential in themselves and others. They will sacrifice their time, energy, and resources to be there for a true friend or a family member. Their view on life is that it is meant to be used to inspire others and improve the world. Continual self-seeking behavior is detestable to most ENFJs and goes against their very core beliefs.

Bullying

Bullying, belittling, and abuse are nearly unforgivable to an ENFJ. Whether it’s sarcastic jabs at someone’s expense or something as detrimental as child abuse, ENFJs will not put up with it. They have a heart for the hurting and the vulnerable, and can’t stand to see anyone being taken advantage of or oppressed.

What Do You Think?

You might look at these pet peeves and think ‘well, doesn’t everyone hate that?!’. While some of these annoyances are universal, different things are mentioned far more frequently by different types. For example, INTJs brought up interruptions far more than ENFJs did. And ENFJs were bothered by tactlessness on a much higher level than INTPs were. While both types would prefer no interruptions and that everyone would be kind, certain types find particular pet peeves more disturbing than other types.

Not sure what your personality type is? Personality Hacker has the most accurate free online personality indicator I’ve been able to find. Click here to take it.

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