Enneagram Five

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What Each Enneagram Type Loves (and Hates) About Thanksgiving
BySusan Storm November 21, 2025November 21, 2025

Thanksgiving is the annual event where we all gather to perform the strange, ancient ritual of pretending everything is normal while holding back the emotional equivalent of a minor volcanic eruption. It’s the holiday where you sit at a table with people you love, people you tolerate, and at least one person you would absolutely…

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Here’s the Herb You’d Be, Based On Your Enneagram Type
BySusan Storm November 4, 2025November 4, 2025

During the Victorian era, people used flowers to gossip in code. You couldn’t just text, “I like you but I’m emotionally unavailable.” You sent a sprig of basil or rosemary and let the symbolism do the emotional heavy lifting. But herbs had their own secret language too—one full of courage, remembrance, love, and the occasional…

Read More Here’s the Herb You’d Be, Based On Your Enneagram Type
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Who You Were in Middle School, According to Your Enneagram Type
BySusan Storm October 26, 2025October 26, 2025

Middle school is where souls go to molt.It’s where your childhood optimism packs up its Lisa Frank folders and moves out, and in its place, a smaller, more suspicious creature begins forming…one who’s learning that humans are confusing, cafeteria pizza isn’t technically food, and popularity is a religion with no consistent doctrine. Every Enneagram type…

Read More Who You Were in Middle School, According to Your Enneagram Type
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Dealing with Dread for Each Enneagram Type
BySusan Storm September 22, 2025September 22, 2025

Dread is that pit-of-the-stomach troll that shows up uninvited, usually right before you do something normal like open your email or brush your teeth. It’s not dramatic like a horror-movie jump scare. It’s quieter, like background radiation. The sense that something terrible is waiting just around the corner, but the corner never ends, so you…

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How Each Enneagram Type Tries to Prove They’re “Totally Fine” While Falling Apart
BySusan Storm September 2, 2025September 2, 2025

You know the look. That wide-eyed, clenched-jaw, “Nope I’m not dying inside, thank you very much!” expression we’ve all worn at least once (or 472 times) while quietly contemplating how to fake our own disappearance and start over as a goat herder in the Alps. Some people cry. Some people clean. Some people turn into…

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