The Art of Pretending Your Weaknesses Are Actually Virtues

Here’s an awkward truth: we’re all judgy and we’re all biased. Over my last ten+ years as an MBTI® practitioner, I’ve seen type evolve into its own weird version of high school cliques, except instead of cheerleaders and drama nerds, it’s Intuitives passing notes about how Sensors are basic, Feelers wishing Thinkers would just hug something for once, and Thinkers complaining that Feelers are crybabies.

I have spent too many Zoom meetings watching one group eye the other like it might be contagious, and it’s defeating the whole purpose of Myers-Briggs itself.

We are all trying to convince ourselves that our personal deficiencies are actually sophisticated lifestyle choices. But this is really a full-time job with no benefits. We see someone operating on a level we can’t comprehend, a level that would cause our own brains to leak out of our ears, and instead of applauding, we decide they’re a bad person.

Not sure what your personality type is? Take our personality questionnaire here. Or you can take the official MBTI® here.

How This Shows Up Across the Types (Unless You Are More Evolved Than the Rest Of Us):

Let’s start with INFJs and ISFJs. These types tend to look at the terrifying efficiency of an ENTJ or ESTJ and immediately decide they are soulless automatons powered by spreadsheets and the tears of their subordinates. They call their blunt style cold and uncaring because they’ve been nurturing a grudge against their printer for three weeks and “just getting a new one” feels like a personal attack. Their work hard, get-things-done demeanor is an affront to the IXFJs carefully curated state of contemplation or idyllic stability               .

Then you have the ENTJs and ENFJs, who view physical comfort and tradition like a dusty country they visited once and found deeply boring. They look at an ISFJ or ISTJ tending to their routines, their bodies, comforts, and physical space and call it being stuck. This is because acknowledging the value of comfort and homeostasis would require them to admit that their own body is more than just a meat-vehicle for their ambition, an inconvenient sack of needs that keeps wanting things like “sleep” and “food.”

The ISTJs and INTJs are no better. They stand in the corner at a party, watching ENFJs and ESFJs create a pleasant atmosphere, and diagnose everyone with a terminal case of fakeness. They believe Extraverted Feeling is just emotional blackmail for the intellectually weak. Secretly, they are terrified that other people have some kind of psychic connection they missed the sign-up for, and it’s easier to assume it’s a conspiracy than to admit they occasionally get lonely.

Let’s not forget the ESFJs and ESTJs who hear the mystical, sweeping predictions of an INFJ or INTJ and dismiss it as unhelpful nonsense. To them, Introverted Intuition is just daydreaming for people who are allergic to practical tasks. It’s much more comfortable to mock their long-term vision when you’re terrified of any problem that can’t be immediately solved by hitting it with a hammer or looking up past precedent.

And now the ISTPs and ISFPs. They watch an ENFP or ENTP generate a million ideas and see only chaos. They see a firehose of possibilities and call it a tragic inability to focus. They need something real and experiential; a single, concrete step, because the alternative is to admit the universe is a swirling vortex of infinite choice and that’s just too much pressure for a Tuesday.

ENFPs and ESFPs will watch an INTP or ISTP dissect an argument with precise, hard logic and decide it must be because they hate fun. They label Ti as pointless arguing from someone who has never experienced joy. They reject the need for internal consistency because sometimes you just want to do something, and having to explain why in a way that makes sense is an existential burden.

Then there are the ENTPs and ESTPs, who observe the deep-seated personal values of an INFP or ISFP and call it a weird hobby, like collecting stamps but for feelings. They think Fi is just being difficult on purpose. They can’t comprehend making a decision based on an internal set of feelings about what matters because they navigate life using a GPS that only screams “WIN” and “MORE.”

Finally, the INFPs and INTPs peer out of their blanket forts at the ESFPs and ESTPs actually doing things in the real world and call it shallow. They see all that Extraverted Sensing energy, that physical engagement with life, and decide it’s just a distraction for people who lack a rich inner world. But really they’re just upset that someone can exist in a physical space without mentally narrating their own awkwardness in the third person.

We call other people’s gifts ugly because it’s easier than admitting we’re incomplete. Maybe we could all agree to be slightly less superior, or at least admit that our own brand of uselessness isn’t a virtue. It would probably make holidays less weird.

To the INTJs and INFJs: Your Ni is magic, but please remember that magic is useless if you cannot find your car keys. Let the Sensors help you navigate the physical realm. They are not boring; they are the reason you haven’t walked into an open manhole while contemplating the heat death of the universe.

To the ESTJs and ENTJs: Your efficiency moves mountains, but sometimes mountains do not need to be moved. Sometimes they just need to be looked at. Let the Feelers remind you that people are not just resources to be optimized. You cannot KPI a hug.

To the ENFPs and ENTPs: Your ideas are electric, but electricity needs a wire or it just starts fires. Let the Introverted Sensors ground you. They aren’t trying to kill your buzz; they are trying to make sure your buzz doesn’t accidentally bankrupt you.

And to everyone else: Your weakness doesn’t mean you’re broken or inferior. It just means there’s space for growth, awareness, and help from others. We are all just weird, lopsided puzzle pieces trying to make a picture that makes sense. If we stopped trying to jam everyone into our own shape, we might actually see the whole image.

Or at least we might stop rolling our eyes quite so hard on Zoom calls, which would be progress.