Do you have a friend that always lends a listening ear no matter what? He or she is there to help when you need it, and asks for nothing in return? Perhaps your friend is on the quiet side and enjoys taking care of others while staying away from the limelight themselves. They’re practical, resourceful, and patient. These are all characteristics of the ISFJ. Referred to as The Protectors by psychologist David Kiersey, ISFJs seek to encourage others and help them in practical ways. They balance out an awareness of others’ emotions (Fe) with an incredible memory for detail (Si) and an internal sense of logic (Ti). This gives them the kind of steady, warm, practicality that is comforting and reassuring to others. They tend to not voice their irritations readily and loathe confrontation, so it’s important to know what really does bother them.
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Many of the annoyances we discuss in these posts are universal; after all, doesn’t everyone hate when people chew loudly or are rude? But certain annoyances are amplified according to your type. For example, an ISFJ who likes to have a plan is going to be more irritated by a sudden change than a spontaneous ENFP. Even if you’re not an ISFJ you may relate to some of these irritations, but ISFJs find these particular pet peeves especially frustrating.
ISFJs are extremely aware of the emotions and moods of others. They take in all the details around them and can quickly sense if someone is feeling uncomfortable, awkward, or left out. People who go through life blissfully unaware of these things tend to frustrate the ISFJ. People who make crass jokes at others’ expense, stand in the middle of grocery aisles so others can’t get through, or are generally loud and obnoxious grate on the ISFJs nerves.
ISFJs thrive on routine and knowing what to expect at any given time. They are excellent planners who enjoy knowing how their week is going to unfold, what meals they are going to make, what outings they are going to schedule. A sure way to stress out an ISFJ is to make a sudden change to their plans or spontaneously interrupt them with a new direction or agenda. It’s better to call them ahead of time if you want to get together instead of showing up unexpectedly at their house, and it’s better not to surprise them without checking to make sure they don’t already have something on their schedule for the day.
Want to greet an ISFJ you hardly know with a great big bear hug? Think again! While ISFJs may love to snuggle with their kids or spouse, they usually prefer personal space around acquaintances or strangers. People who stand too close to them in line, greet them with a squeeze that’s just a little too tight, or otherwise like to poke and prod will irritate the ISFJ. Get to know them pretty well before you start getting too physically affectionate. Take cues from how they treat you – if they reach out for a handshake, don’t ignore it and give them a hug instead.
Like we mentioned in the first point, ISFJs like to stay on schedule and have a plan for everything. When people are running late or dilly-dallying it causes them an undue amount of stress. Show an ISFJ that they’re important to you by keeping appointments, being ready on time, and following through on your commitments.
Bad Grammar and Poor Spelling
ISFJs are usually very careful and precise when it comes to their writing skills, and they find the kind of commonly accepted misspellings used in texting and social media extremely irritating. While they’re not likely to say anything about it, they will feel the strong urge to do so. If you want to make a good impression know the difference between your and you’re and their, there, and they’re. Now that I’ve said that, I’m sure there is probably some kind of grammatical or spelling error in this post somewhere that I’ve missed. ISFJs, you can let me know in the comments, I’ll try not to be offended 🙂
What Do You Think?
Did we cover one of your top pet peeves? Do you agree or disagree? Let me know in the comments!
Find out more about your personality type in our eBooks, Discovering You: Unlocking the Power of Personality Type, The INFJ – Understanding the Mystic, and The INFP – Understanding the Dreamer. You can also connect with me via Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter!