In the personality community there are a lot of misconceptions about the cognitive functions. Sometimes negative stereotypes work their way into mainstream type descriptions or exaggerated praise becomes the norm. Today I want to talk about Extraverted Feeling(Fe). This function often gets a bad rap for being “fake” or “people-pleasing”. Sometimes it’s overly praised and people with Fe are called “empaths”, even if they aren’t. So if you’re unsure whether you use Fe or not this article can hopefully give you a good start in the right direction.
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Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
What Is Extraverted Feeling?
Extraverted Feeling is a judging function. This means that it is what FJs and TPs use when they make decisions (although TPs consider thinking before feeling and may suppress feeling). Extraverted feeling gives the user a broad awareness of the feelings and values of others. FJs tend to instantly know what is acceptable, polite, and will maintain harmony. They strive to maintain morale and usually have a good grasp of the emotions and moods of other people.
10 Signs You Might Be an Extraverted Feeler
Most anyone who values Extraverted Feeling (xxFJ personality types) will relate to the following ten statements.
#1 – I Instantly Know What Behavior Is or Isn’t Acceptable
I am very aware of the expectations and needs of the group and try to tailor how I act to meet the needs and expectations of the people around me. I value good manners and proper behavior.
#2 – I Am a Natural Peacemaker
I hate conflict. I try to see the needs of everyone in the situation and find ways to compromise or find common ground so that two opposing groups of people can find resolution and harmony.
#3 – I Can Forget to Take Care of Myself
I get so busy taking care of the needs of other people that I forget about my own needs and desires. Sometimes I get burned out from thinking about other people so much.
#4 – Giving Criticism Is Hard For Me
I am very concerned with making sure people feel good, and I worry a lot about the impact my words have on others. I hate to make anyone feel bad or incompetent.
#5 – I Like to “Talk Out” My Decisions
Because my decision-making function is extraverted, I like to discuss my decisions with other people to see if they make sense or will impact people in a positive way.
#6 – I Live My Life Based on My Values
Right and wrong are very important to me. I constantly ask myself whether I should or shouldn’t do something or whether what I’m doing will have a positive or negative impact on others.
#7 – I Empathize Easily
I may pick up on and absorb the emotions of the people around me without even realizing it. I feel happy when the people around me are happy and feel sad when the people around me are sad. When someone is crying I might inadvertently start crying too.
#8 – Maintaining Morale Is Very Important to Me
I can instantly sense the mood of a room and tell when there’s conflict or discomfort. I try to arrange things and plan social events in such a way that everyone will feel comfortable and the atmosphere will be pleasant and accommodating.
#9 – I Respond Strongly to Praise or Criticism
It means a lot to me when people acknowledge my feelings and efforts. I don’t need affirmation all the time, but it’s nice to know that people care and aren’t taking advantage. Criticism makes me feel very embarrassed and ashamed.
#10 – I Feel Responsible For Other People’s Feelings
If someone around me is embarrassed or upset I feel like it’s my duty to console them or show them warmth and understanding so that they will feel accepted and comfortable.
What Do You Think?
Do you relate to these signs? How do you experience extraverted feeling? Share your thoughts in the comments!
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