Do you have a weird pet peeve that nobody else seems to understand? Perhaps some people get it and some don’t. Do you ever wonder WHY something bothers you as much as it does? Today we’re going to unveil some of the biggest pet peeves for each Myers-Briggs® personality type. Does yours fit? If not, let us know in the comments!
Also, some things bother everybody. Let’s take a look at those things first:
(Nearly) Universal Pet Peeves:
- Loud chewing noises
- People who take up space in crowded aisles so that nobody else can get through
- Bad drivers
- Throat clearing noises
- Speaking in the third person
- Limp handshakes
- People who make up nicknames for other people and use them without permission
- People who look over your shoulder while you’re trying to use your phone or computer
Not sure what your personality type is? Take our new personality questionnaire!
The Pet Peeves of Every Myers-Briggs® Personality Type
ENFP Pet Peeves
Being Micro-Managed: Freedom-loving ENFPs enjoy space and creativity to accomplish tasks to their standard. Being around rigid rule-enforcers and overly-attentive managers makes them feel that they aren’t free to imagine, innovate, and do what they do best.
One-Word Responses: If you’re texting an ENFP or calling them on the phone, try to give a more elegant answer than “OK” or a thumbs-up sign. Don’t make them do all the heavy-lifting in the conversation unless you’re just too busy to talk.
Being Told How They Feel: If an ENFP is describing their feelings to you, it’s best to practice actively listening. Don’t tell them how they feel or that what they are feeling is invalid.
Read This Next: 10 Things You Should Never Say to an ENFP
ENTP Pet Peeves
Bootlickers/Suck-Ups: People who overly-flatter other people, especially those in authority, are maddening to ENTPs. Ever the rebels, these personality types believe in truth over good impressions.
Traditionalism: ENTPs are extremely innovative and hate having to do things the way they’ve always been done. To the ENTP, change and transformation is the oxygen that gives them life and meaning. Everything can be made better. Everything can be looked at from an alternate perspective.
Argument-Stiflers: ENTPs enjoy a good debate, and nothing kills their enjoyment like the well-meaning peacemaker who shuts it down because they assume there is bad intent. ENTPs enjoy a friendly argument and rarely instigate one out of meanness or anger.
INFP Pet Peeves
Phony Behavior: Talking badly behind someone’s back, sucking up to authorities, or in any way being inauthentic is a major turn-off for INFPs. As people who value sincerity to a high degree, these types find any display of manipulation or fakery exasperating.
Being Told to “Hurry Up”: INFPs need time to decide on everything from relationships to the flavor of ice cream they’re craving. Being backed into a corner or forced to make a decision prematurely makes them stressed and frustrated.
Assumptions About People: INFPs believe that every individual is a collage of 1000 different unique traits, dreams, strengths, and weaknesses. People who assume that they’ve got anyone else “figured out” seem pretentious to them.
Read This Next: 10 Things You Should Never Say to an INFP
INTP Pet Peeves
Straw-Man Arguments: If you’re going to get into an argument with an INTP you’d better come prepared because these types are masters in the art of logical debate. Logical fallacies, especially straw-man fallacies, irk them tremendously. “What’s a straw-man fallacy?” This type of logical fallacy is essentially an attack where one opponent argues that a person holds a view they actually don’t believe. So instead of arguing the ACTUAL statement that was presented, they argue a distorted version.
Opponent 1: “Senator Jones doesn’t want to add any more money to the defense budget because we need to focus on the environment.”
Opponent 2: “So Jones just wants to leave us all defenseless. Guess he cares more about trees than human lives!”
Vaguebooking: If you’re going to go to the trouble of posting something publicly on Facebook or Twitter, at least be clear about your meaning. Vague, passive-aggressive posts just seem attention-seeking to INTPs.
Encroaching on Physical Space: If you see an INTP reading a book, scrolling through their phone, or otherwise absorbed in thought, don’t push yourself into their space unless they’ve made it explicitly clear they want you to (as in the case of romantic partners, children, etc,.). INTPs need more personal space than most people and feel anxious or irritated when they are intruded on.
Read This Next: 10 Things You Should Never Say to an INTP
ENFJ Pet Peeves
Being Talked Over: ENFJs think carefully about their words and are often eloquent communicators. What they can’t stand is having their thoughts and statements “talked over”, especially by someone who gives a tone of superiority or condescension.
Red Herrings: A red herring is a distraction from an argument or statement that seems to be relevant but isn’t really on topic. For example, if someone were to say, “I get that you think I’m rude, but seriously. People are dying in third-world countries. Have you even read about what’s happening in Somalia?” ENFJs get flustered and irritated when people detract from the original point of the conversation merely to create a distraction or avoid the fact that they might be wrong.
Trolling: Wreaking havoc on people’s moods and emotions just to get a buzz is a major turn-off for ENFJs. As highly empathetic and people-oriented individuals, ENFJs do whatever they can to show respect to people. Trolling goes against their very nature.
ENTJ Pet Peeves
Appeals to Pity: If someone can’t get what they want from an ENTJ in a reasonable way, then they should avoid resorting to emotional appeals. ENTJs hate emotional manipulation, especially because the idea of appearing helpless or vulnerable is so anathema to them.
Procrastination: ENTJs are decisive and quick to act. If they have to work with someone who dilly-dallies about everything they will inevitably feel restless and irritated. If you are dealing with an ENTJ and you don’t know the best decision to make, try to give them a time or date that you’ll get an answer to them so that they know when their misery will end!
Laziness: ENTJs are hard workers who are dauntless in reaching their goals. Commanding, visionary, and efficient, ENTJs hate it when people refuse to be proactive. It’s especially bad if lazy people then complain about not having the same rewards that others have earned through hard work and commitment.
Read This Next: 10 Things You Should Never Say to an ENTJ
INFJ Pet Peeves
Hasty Generalizations: Hasty generalizations are generalized statements that ignore context or lack sufficient evidence. INFJs are natural perspective-shifters. They are always looking for more context to a situation or event. They tend to believe that each situation has layer upon layer of meaning. Because of this hasty generalizations are extremely frustrating to them.
One-Upping: INFJs are quick to spot patterns, especially in people who have self-seeking motives. Those who are constantly bragging, outdoing, or attempting to have the “upper-hand” in a conversation grate on their nerves.
Interruptions: Focus is something that INFJs crave in every aspect of their lives. They tend to struggle with multi-tasking, but they’re skilled at quietly delving into a subject or idea in-depth. Being interrupted is a major stressor for them because they tend to hold lots of complex connections in their mind and one single interruption can make them lose all those connections completely.
Read This Next: 10 Things You Should Never Say to an INFJ
INTJ Pet Peeves
Baby Talk: If you want something from an INTJ, whatever you do, DO NOT resort to cutesy, infantile language. Unless you’re under the age of three there is zero reason to do this to anyone, but especially not an INTJ.
Emotionally-Charged Decision-Making: INTJs pride themselves on being as unbiased as possible in their decisions. They believe in fairness, and they don’t mind playing the “bad guy” if it means they are being fair and just. People who make decisions based on emotions and unreliable feelings get on their nerves.
Neediness: INTJs are extremely autonomous individuals and they hate having their personal space and time encroached upon. Blowing up an INTJ’s phone with text messages, emojis, and rants (or worse yet, calling them repeatedly about every little thing) is one sure way to get on their nerves.
Read This Next: 10 Things You Should Never Say to an INTJ
ESFP Pet Peeves:
Pretentious Behavior: So you think you’re smarter, classier, or more sophisticated than someone else? Keep it to yourself around an ESFP. These down-to-earth types are quick to sniff out arrogance no matter how eloquently someone tries to conceal it.
Fake Smilers: This pet peeve was mentioned by over two-dozen ESFPs! Authenticity is a big deal to these personality types. If you’re not feeling it then don’t pressure yourself to smile. Just be real and they’ll have more respect for you!
Narrow-Mindedness: ESFPs are known for being open-minded and curious. People who are quick to judge or who are unwilling to see outside of a limited perspective exasperate them.
ESTP Pet Peeves:
Drama Seekers: Nothing gets under an ESTP’s skin more than someone who constantly seeks drama or creates a crisis just to get attention. ESTPs prefer easy-going, common-sense people.
Complaining About the Same Thing Repeatedly: ESTPs understand the need to vent now and then. We all have to get some struggles off our chests from time-to-time. But they HATE it when people complain about the same situation or event repeatedly and don’t do anything to solve the problem. It’s even worse if the ESTP tries to offer a solution and the complainer becomes passive-aggressive in return.
Micro-Managing: ESTPs like a lot of independence and freedom and they despise having a helicopter manager/spouse/parent dictating everything they do or constantly “checking up” on them.
Read This Next: 10 Things You’ll Relate to if You’re an ESTP
ISFP Pet Peeves:
Being Labeled: Soren Kierkegaard once said, “Once you label me, you negate me” and I believe many ISFPs would agree with him. These types are true individualists who believe that each person is completely unique and should never be put in a “box”.
Hypocrisy: ISFPs are keenly attuned to their own values and the values of the people around them. They believe in practicing what they preach and it infuriates them when people criticize others for behaviors they already emulate.
Disrespect for Personal Space: ISFPs value their personal autonomy a great deal. People who barge into their room, make a mess in their area and don’t clean it up, or are always encroaching on their physical space drive them crazy!
Read This Next: 10 Things You’ll Relate to if You’re an ISFP
ISTP Pet Peeves:
Assumptions About Their Thinking: If you really want to get on an ISTPs nerves, tell them what they are thinking or act like you’ve got them “all figured out”. Not only is this arrogant, but the assumptions are also nearly always way off the mark.
Whining: ISTPs hate listening to complaining, especially if the complainer in question isn’t looking for logical solutions. While they understand that everyone needs to vent sometimes, frequent moping is an easy way to lose their respect.
Long-Winded Rambling: If you’ve got something to say to an ISTP be sure to get to the point directly. They hate it when people beat around the bush or meander through long stories that have no relevance to the current situation.
Read This Next: 10 Things You Should Never Say to an ISTP
ESFJ Pet Peeves:
Laziness: ESFJs tend to be hard-working, goal-oriented individuals. Picking up the slack for people who procrastinate or refuse to carry their weight is exasperating to them. It’s especially bad if these same people incessantly complain about not getting the rewards that others are receiving for their hard work.
Lack of Respect for Space: ESFJs tend to be organized people, so they find it irksome when they invite people over (or worse, have to room with people) who make messes and don’t clean up after themselves. A sink full of dirty dishes or a pile of clothes on the floor for them to deal with is disrespectful and inconsiderate.
Wishy-Washiness: If you say you’re going to do something then do it. Having resolve is important in a relationship with an ESFJ. These types want to know they can count on people to keep their word and not to shirk plans or obligations at the last minute.
Read This Next: 10 Things You Should Never Say to an ESFJ
ESTJ Pet Peeves:
Emotional Volatility: ESTJs find erratic mood swings stressful not only to experience but to be around. They try to keep their emotions out of the equation when they’re making decisions and they feel like common-sense and a level-headed outlook is essential in life. Being around people who are unpredictably dramatic is a huge stressor for them.
Pity-Parties: “If life hands you lemons, make lemonade” is an ideal ESTJ motto. These types are resourceful and they feel like there’s no use complaining about something if you’re not willing to work hard to change it.
Procrastination: Nothing irks an ESTJ more than trying to get a project done with someone who is constantly procrastinating or mulling over all the options. These actionable, decisive types like to make progress quickly and they appreciate people who take initiative and get the job done in a timely manner.
Read This Next: 10 Things You Should Never Say to an ESTJ
ISFJ Pet Peeves:
Erratic Schedules: ISFJs get extremely stressed by frequent, unexpected change. Having plans thrown on them at the last minute makes them frustrated and overwhelmed. It’s especially bad if the plans are permanent or life-changing (a sudden move, a new job, etc,.)
Prideful Tactlessness: ISFJs are not impressed by people who pride themselves on “telling it like it is” in a completely disrespectful way. They know the difference between kind-hearted truth and brash insensitivity and they choose compassion over blatant disregard.
Interruptions: ISFJs like peace and quiet when they are working on a project. They are highly focused individuals and interruptions cause them major stress. It’s important for everyone in their home to have courtesy about noise, phone calls, and the ISFJs personal space.
Read This Next: 10 Things You Should Never Say to an ISFJ
ISTJ Pet Peeves:
Unexpected Change: ISTJs like to know what to expect and when to expect it. Having to spontaneously adapt to someone else’s whims or lack of planning is a major stressor for them. Having to live with long-lasting uncertainty can have very adverse effects on their well-being.
Cloying Remarks: ISTJs appreciate someone who can be direct about what they want. Emotional appeals and insincere flattery are no way to win them over.
Invasiveness: ISTJs tend to be private people and they appreciate their own little “bubble” of personal space. Encroaching on their space, barraging them with texts and phone calls, or over-scheduling their time is a sure way to frustrate them.
Read This Next: 10 Things You Should Never Say to an ISTJ
What Are Your Thoughts?
Do these pet peeves bother you? Do you have any others you would add? Let me know in the comments!
Find out more about your personality type in our eBook, Discovering You: Unlocking the Power of Personality Type.
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