Have you ever offended or irritated someone and not really been sure how you did it? Each personality type finds different phrases more irritating than others. Call a thinking-type overly emotional and they’ll be furious! Call a feeling-type selfish and they’ll be thrown into anxious self-analysis. What words really get under the skin of the enthusiastic, innovative ENFPs? Let’s find out!
10 Things You Should Never Say to an ENFP
#1 – “Because That’s How It’s Always Been Done”
ENFPs lead with a process called Extraverted Intuition (Ne). Ne is focused on new, future-oriented possibilities. As a result, ENFPs are driven to find novel, innovative ways to do things. The “tried-and-true” method is boring to them. They are more skeptical of traditional methods and more focused on improving and brainstorming new, unprecedented advances.
#2 – “Be More Realistic”
Unlike their Se-dominant cousins the ESFPs, ENFPs are much more focused on theoretical outcomes than realistic, present-day occurrences. They are less focused on what “is” and more focused on what “could be”. They want to challenge pre-conceived ideas and question what others take for granted. Being told to stifle this part of their personality is frustrating and can leave them feeling misunderstood and limited.
#3 – “Because I Said So”
Authority must be earned with ENFPs, it is never automatically given. Rank, titles, and position mean little to Ne-dominant types. Being told “because I said so” will only invite numerous retaliatory questions. “Why do you say so?”, “Explain your position”, “Why do I have to follow you instead of …”, “But you don’t understand the whole story!”.
#4 – “You Can’t Do That”
This statement is simultaneously frustrating and invigorating to ENFPs. On one hand, they dislike being limited or underestimated, on the other hand, it ignites a fire in them that motivates them to prove you wrong. “You don’t think I can? Watch me.”
#5 – “You Have No Idea”
Really? Because ENFPs have about a thousand ideas about “the” idea…in fact, the more you talk about the idea, the more you trigger a plethora of interconnected, related ideas that build upon themselves exponentially.
#6 – “You’re Such a Flirt!”
ENFPs tend to be enthusiastic, playful, and warm-hearted. Unfortunately, this can confuse more reserved types and be misconstrued as flirting. I have spoken to countless ENFPs who are sick and tired of having their motives questioned when they were just being friendly.
#7 – “Here’s your project. The deadline is tomorrow.”
ENFPs like to take their time to make sure their projects are up to their high standards. When they are pushed to reach a quick deadline they feel that they don’t have the time to innovate, imagine, and be creative with the job they’ve been given. A job done in a hurry is rarely satisfying to an ENFP.
#8 – “Stop brainstorming and just decide!”
ENFPs love to brainstorm and entertain endless possibilities. They don’t like to decide on something till they’ve explored every possible angle or potential alternative. Being rushed to make a decision is a sure way to stress them out and make them irritable.
#9 – “You’re perfectly normal!”
If there’s anything ENFPs don’t want to be, it’s normal. These visionary, imaginative types take pride in being different, skeptical, and thinking outside the box. Telling them they’re fitting perfectly fine “in” the box is a major insult.
#10 – “If you really cared about me, you’d…”
ENFPs detest being treated with passive aggression. If you want something from them, just be direct and ask them for their help. Don’t try to guilt them into fulfilling your needs or desires.
What Do You Think?
Do these lines bother you as well? Do you have any statements you’d like to add? Share your thoughts in the comments!
Find out more about your personality type in our eBooks, Discovering You: Unlocking the Power of Personality Type or The INFJ – Understanding the Mystic. You can also connect with me via Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter!
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