Here’s How You’re Self-Sabotaging, Based On Your Myers-Briggs® Personality Type

Look, we all like to think we’re basically good people. We pet the neighbor’s cat, we try to avoid totalitarian regimes, and we say “I’m fine” through gritted teeth so we’re not creating chaos. But here’s the dirty secret: every single one of us has a way of screwing ourselves over.

So let’s be real: your personality type has a signature sabotage move. It’s not the dramatic, Bond-villain brand of sabotage — no, this is subtler. It’s that sly little tendency that pops up when you’re faced with the chance to do something actually wise for your life, and instead you go, “Nah, let’s do the other thing that’ll feel safe in the moment but definitely wreck me later.” We’re talking about the ways you almost do what’s best for your soul, but then… well, you don’t.

Let’s talk about that…

Not sure what your personality type is? Take our personality questionnaire here. Or you can take the official MBTI® here.

ISTJ

Your sabotage move? Clinging to that well-worn comfort zone like it’s a life raft in shark-infested waters. You’ve built your life carefully — routines polished to a shine, responsibilities met with precision. But underneath all that sensibility, there’s a nagging little question you keep dodging: Who the hell are you really, outside of all this?

You sabotage yourself by doing what’s “safe,” what’s “practical,” what’s “expected” — because if you stopped for even a second to look deeper, you’d have to face the unnerving possibility that you’re more than your tasks and routines. That your soul might have dreams that don’t fit the job description you’ve given yourself. So you keep the day-to-day alive and humming, because it’s easier to be “the responsible one” than to risk everything for something that feels like it’s truly yours.

Try this instead:

• Take one small step outside the routine — anything, even if it’s just a different route home or a hobby that makes zero sense to your structured mind.
• Ask yourself what actually excites you, not what’s “supposed to” excite you.
• Journal about your childhood dreams — yes, the ones you buried under mortgage payments and grocery lists.
• Let yourself do something badly, purely for joy.

ISFJ

Your sabotage move? Turning your life into a shrine for everyone else’s comfort. You’re the caretaker, the fixer who keeps the world from falling apart — but somewhere in all that maintenance, you forget that your own needs matter too. You keep telling yourself that if you just keep giving, eventually someone will notice you’re bleeding out. Spoiler: they don’t.

So you keep the peace, swallow your voice, and keep the machine running — because it feels easier to be the dependable one than to admit that you’re just as lost and deserving as anyone else. You sabotage yourself by believing that your worth is measured by how well you keep the world warm for others, even if it leaves you cold.

Try this instead:

• Make a list of what you want — not what’s convenient or polite, but what actually calls to you.
• Say no once this week — yes, even if it makes your skin crawl.
• Give yourself an hour to do something just for yourself. No audience, no silent guilt trip.
• Challenge yourself to consider an unpopular opinion.

You might also like: The Quiet Burnout of the ISFJ: When No One Notices What You Do

ESTJ

Your sabotage move? Letting the checklist become the dictator of your life. You’re the commander of the practical, the one who always has a plan — and you cling to that plan like it’s a map to salvation, even when your heart is begging you to take a different road.
You’re so busy managing the world that you forget to ask yourself: Is this even the right world for me? You keep the wheels turning, the deadlines met, and the duties done, because if you stop for a second, you might have to admit you’re not okay. And that’s too messy, too vulnerable, too… human. So you sabotage yourself by turning efficiency into a religion, even when your soul is gasping for air.

Try this instead:

• Allow yourself a “no productivity” hour — no tasks, no lists, no earning your worth.
• Ask someone you trust to tell you what they see in you beyond your achievements.
• Challenge yourself to let one thing go unfinished — just to prove the world won’t collapse.
• Notice where you’re overcontrolling, and let yourself wonder why.

ESFJ

Your sabotage move?  You’re so busy managing schedules, smoothing edges, and reading every flicker of emotion in the room that you never quite stop to ask: What do I feel? What do I actually think?

You sabotage yourself by treating other people’s comfort as your compass, even when it’s pulling you into storms you don’t believe in. Because sitting in silence — really sitting there, letting the deep, messy stuff bubble up — feels too raw. Too risky. So you keep playing your part in the social world, hoping no one notices that you’re lip-syncing to someone else’s tune. You forget to give yourself space to listen to that quiet conviction of your own soul finally getting a chance to speak.

Try this instead:

• Spend time alone — not scrolling, not managing, just sitting and letting the silence talk.
• Practice asking yourself, “What do I want?” before you decide what everyone else needs.
• Start a private journal where you can say what’s true for you, no matter how messy or “selfish” it feels.
• Let yourself disappoint someone — you’ll survive, and so will they.

INTJ

Your sabotage move? Fixating on the Big Picture like it’s an epic painting you’re determined to finish even if it means ignoring the fact that your brushes are falling apart and you haven’t eaten in three days. You’re so good at mapping the future that you forget to ask: Am I even in this picture? You sacrifice the quiet pleasure of the now — the small, simple joys that make life worth living — on the altar of your master plan.
You sabotage yourself by believing that if you just keep strategizing, you’ll outrun the part of you that’s starving for emotional resonance or simple daily pleasures and maintenance. But that small voice inside you? It’s not a bug in the system. It’s the heart of it.

Try this instead:

• Let yourself do something purely because it feels good, not because it “fits” your goals.
• Journal about what your feelings might be telling you – even if it feels silly.
• Spend an hour without an agenda. Let the day wander wherever it wants.
• Notice where you’re rigid, and let yourself wonder: Is this me or a coping mechanism?

You might also like: 30 Day Personal Growth Challenge for INTJs

INFJ

Your sabotage move? Becoming a psychic sponge for everyone else’s needs and feelings until you’re not even sure which thoughts are yours anymore. You’re so busy holding space for everyone else that you forget you’re allowed to have your own — and that they matter.
You sabotage yourself by merging so seamlessly with others that you lose the edges of your own self. But you can’t give to the world what you refuse to give yourself: the chance to be seen and known, without the weight of everyone else’s stories crowding yours out.

Try this instead:

• Take a walk alone — no phone, no music, just you and the quiet pulse of the world around you.
• Do something sensory — cook, paint, dig your hands in dirt — and let it reconnect you to your body.
• Ask yourself: What do I feel right now? and don’t edit the answer.
• Practice saying no to what’s not yours — it’s not betrayal, I promise.

You might also enjoy: Reaching a Flow State as an INFJ

ENTJ

Your sabotage move? Doing and conquering and executing — and somewhere in that relentless hustle, forgetting to ask: What does this really mean to me? You’re so laser-focused on outcomes that you forget meaning is a living thing, not just a line on a graph.
You sabotage yourself by treating life like a hostile negotiation — always moving, always optimizing — until the part of you that craves wonder and connection is so malnourished it can’t even remember what it once loved.

Try this instead:

• Set aside time to explore something that has no “return on investment” — art, poetry, a wild idea that defies efficiency.
• Talk to someone about what you care about — not what you’re doing, but what you feel is worth fighting for.
• Let yourself be still long enough to hear the soft, human truths under all the metrics.
• Notice the part of you that’s hungry for meaning, and feed it like it’s the most important project of your life.

ENFJ

Your sabotage move? Staying so busy being the balm for everyone else’s wounds that you forget to probe the sore spots in your own soul. You’re the master of connection, the one who everyone else counts on to bring the warmth and the wisdom. But in all that outward flow of energy, you dodge the uncomfortable truths in your own chest — the ones that whisper that maybe you’re not okay, that maybe you’ve been performing “being needed” so well you’ve forgotten how to just be.

You sabotage yourself by tending to everyone else’s growth while quietly refusing to look at the wild, tangled forest of your own. Because sitting with those truths? Letting them rise up? It feels too raw, too unpolished — and you’d rather keep shining for everyone else than let them see you cracking open. But that cracking is often where the real self lives.

Try this instead:

• Set aside time to sit in stillness, even if your brain itches to be useful.
• Let yourself journal the hard questions — the ones you’d never ask out loud.
• Notice the places you’re performing “okay-ness” and let them fall away for a moment.
• Trust that people can love the messy you too — and that this messy, curious part of you has something wise to say.

You might also enjoy: The Magic of Journaling for NF Personality Types

ISTP

Your sabotage move? Focusing on doing in a world that increasingly peddles distraction. You’re so skilled at fixing the outside world — tools, problems, the tangles of everyone else’s mess — that you forget your own inner world is also real, and maybe even more important. You tell yourself your feelings are irrelevant, a distraction from the practical, but then wonder why you’re a stranger to your own heart when life gets messy.

You sabotage yourself by constantly reaching for distractions — the phone, the next project, the sweet relief of “what’s next?” — instead of sitting with the uncomfortable questions echoing in your head.

Try this instead:

• Put your phone down when you’re alone and just… sit there.
• Write down one feeling you’re having every day, no matter how small.
• Ask yourself how you really feel when you’re about to jump into the next thing.
• Let yourself feel awkward, and let that be okay.

ISFP

Your sabotage move? Hiding in the comfort of your inner world. You’re a magician of feeling and art, but you let those bright ideas and tender truths stay locked away because taking action feels too risky. You know what you value, but you hesitate to step out and live it because it might not be perfect.
You sabotage yourself by staying in the land of “almost” — almost creating, almost speaking, almost living. But here’s the raw truth: your genius and passion can’t help the world if you keep them wrapped in layers of maybe-later.

Try this instead:

• Take one bold step toward something you believe in, even if it’s clumsy.
• Write down your dreams and circle one to bring into the real world this week.
• Let yourself say what you really mean, even if it feels too big or messy.
• Trust that your truth, spoken or acted on, has a place here.

You might also like: Why ISFPs Struggle to Trust Their Intuition, and What to Do About It

ESTP

Your sabotage move? Taking the easy way — chasing the thrill, the rush, the easy fix — and ignoring the voice inside that says, “Wait, is this real?” You’re so good at living in the moment that you sometimes forget to ask if the moment is even worth it.
You sabotage yourself by never pausing long enough to wonder why you’re avoiding the deeper stuff. You think if you just keep moving, you’ll outrun the discomfort, but all that activity can’t fill the quiet ache that wants to be felt.

Try this instead:

• Pause before you jump — ask yourself if this choice really serves you.
• Let yourself sit with a feeling, even if it’s uncomfortable.
• Notice the difference between “fun” and “meaningful.”
• Slow down enough to hear the deeper questions your gut is too loud to answer.

ESFP

Your sabotage move? Staying busy instead of sitting still. You’re the master of turning any moment into a celebration, but you’re also a master of ignoring the quiet truths that bubble up in the silence. You’re so good at lighting up the world for everyone else that you forget to ask: What’s going on inside me?
You sabotage yourself by treating your inner world like a boring chore — something to skip in favor of one more dance, one more burst of excitement. But those bright distractions? They won’t fill the parts of you that are asking to be known.

Try this instead:

• Spend ten minutes a day with no music, no screens, no plans — just you.
• Write down what you’re feeling when the party stops.
• Notice when you’re moving to avoid stillness — and try to be still instead.
• Let yourself be alone with the questions that come up.

INTP

Your sabotage move? Retreating into the labyrinth of your mind, convinced that if you just think hard enough, you’ll find the final, perfect answer that’ll make everything else click. You’re so good at living in the realm of ideas that you forget your body and soul need tending, too. You sabotage yourself by treating real-world action as optional — something you’ll get around to when you’re “ready” (spoiler: you’re never fully ready).

You become your own prisoner, trapped in endless thought loops that never get to see the light of day. Because if you never act, you never risk being wrong. But here’s the punchline: not risking is its own form of failure, one that leaves you haunted by all the things you almost did.

Try this instead:

• Take one small action on an idea, no matter how messy it feels.
• Ask yourself what you’re avoiding by staying in your head.
• Set a timer for 30 minutes and do something purely physical — cook, walk, anything that roots you back to the real world.
• Share your half-baked idea with someone — imperfection is more interesting than paralysis.

INFP

Your sabotage move? Staying in the shimmering world of possibility because the real world feels too harsh, too flawed. You’re so good at feeling deeply that you forget feeling alone isn’t enough — it needs expression, messy and all. You sabotage yourself by convincing yourself that if it’s not perfectly aligned with your values, it’s not worth doing — so you hover, waiting for the perfect moment that never comes.

You end up living in the space between “what if” and “not yet,” forgetting that the beauty you see in your head can’t change the world until you give it voice. That the only way to honor your ideals is to risk bringing them into the light, even if it’s scary as hell.

Try this instead:

• Take one brave step to make something real, even if it’s tiny.
• Notice when you’re retreating into fantasy instead of taking imperfect action.
• Let yourself be clumsy and earnest — that’s where your real magic is.
• Ask yourself: What’s one small thing I can do today that honors what matters most to me?

You might also like: Why INFPs Want to Heal the World (But Also Avoid It)

ENTP

Your sabotage move? Jumping from idea to idea because sitting still with one thing — one feeling, one truth — feels like dying. You’re so good at reinvention that you forget that some things are worth sticking around for, even if they’re messy. You sabotage yourself by treating every shiny new idea as the answer, convinced that the next thing will finally quiet the restless itch inside.

But here’s the catch: you’re so busy chasing stimulation that you don’t notice you’re running from the one thing that would give your life real meaning — staying long enough to find out what’s real for you.

Try this instead:

• Pick one project and see it through, no matter how imperfectly.
• Spend time alone with your thoughts — let yourself question, discover, or even be bored. Over time, truth will start becoming clearer.
• Notice where you’re dodging the discomfort of commitment.

ENFP

Your sabotage move? Getting so lost in the whirl of possibilities and people’s energy that you forget your own center of gravity. You’re so good at adapting, at feeling the pulse of the room, that you lose track of what your soul is actually saying. You sabotage yourself by treating the search for meaning like a scavenger hunt — always looking for it in new faces, new experiences, never stopping long enough to hear the small, steady voice inside you.
You think if you just keep moving, keep exploring, you’ll eventually stumble upon the one thing that fixes the ache. But meaning isn’t found in the endless chase — it’s found in pausing, listening, and daring to claim what’s already yours.

Try this instead:

• Carve out time to be alone — no performing, no explaining, just being.
• Journal about what you’re really feeling, the questions, the fears, the discomfort, and yes…the good stuff, too.
• Notice the difference between excitement and resonance — they’re not always the same.
• Let yourself stay in one place long enough to hear the quiet, honest truth you keep skipping over.

What Do You Think?

Does any of this resonate with you? Or does it just feel like preachy nonsense you don’t need? Let me know in the comments!

There’s also another amazing article by typology expert Heidi Priebe on this same subject here.

Find out more about your personality type in our eBooks, Discovering You: Unlocking the Power of Personality Type,  The INFJ – Understanding the Mystic, The ISFJ – Understanding the Protector, and The INFP – Understanding the Dreamer. You can also connect with me via Facebook, Instagram, or YouTube!