Here’s How You Communicate, Based on Your Enneagram Type
Ping! New email. Text. Emoji wall. Hand gestures. Microexpressions. We communicate face-to-face, through pixels over the Web, and over the phone. Communication itself is repeatedly deemed as one of the most important skills of the 21st-century digital age, along with emotional intelligence.
The Enneagram can help you have better conversations with others, in-person and through instant messages. When you search for verbal and written patterns that show up repeatedly, you may be able to figure out some clues into your own (and others’) Enneagram types.
Not sure what your enneagram type is? Take our new personality questionnaire here!
Table of contents
Estimated reading time: 5 minutes
How Do You Communicate, Based on Your Enneagram Type? Let’s Find out!
Enneatype 1
Matter-of-fact and straightforward.
Your conversations center upon meaning and action. If there’s a need, then you’re on it. Fluff and small talk can be reserved for times of desperate measures.
Key factors in how you communicate:
- Yes / no ultimatums
- Clearly-defined plans
- Only emoji used is the ‘OK’ sign
- Answer-inducing questions
- Descriptive, emotionally neutral
- ‘Should’ is commonly used
Enneatype 2
Generous and caring language.
What better way to show someone that you care by sending a short text saying you’re thinking about them? Your messages are jam-packed with affection and TLC.
Key factors in how you communicate:
- Compliments and comments of appreciation
- Positive reinforcements of others’ behavior
- Use of many, many heart emojis
- Second-person perspective use
- Acknowledge others’ feelings and needs
- Kind and encouraging feedback
Enneatype 3
Time- and plan-centric.
As the ambitious visionary you are, you’re always looking into the future. Your messages center on plans and action—when will things actually happen.
Key factors in how you communicate:
- Future-oriented language (tomorrow, next week, one year from now)
- Encouraging emojis (a-ok, raised hands, thumbs up)
- Optimistic, energetic phrases
- Words which encourage action and movement
- Exclamation marks and smileys
- Short and useful questions
Enneatype 4
Descriptive and prose-y.
Poetry somehow manages to find its way into your texts and email. You enjoy using a range of metaphors and flowery language to convey your thoughts eloquently.
Key factors in how you communicate:
- Long-winded essays with metaphors and imagery
- Poetic prose-like messages
- Emotional expressions (wow, oh, sigh, etc.)
- First-person perspective
- Dream-like additions (heavy use of ellipses…)
- Can appear warm and empathic at times and flat and pessimistic at other times.
- Unafraid to talk about the darker, deeper, or melancholy aspects of life
Enneatype 5
Formally, with touches of complexity.
With a talent for simplifying the complicated, you communicate with clarity and intention, which often comes prepackaged with a hint of wit.
Key factors in how you communicate:
- Overly technical or formal tone
- Use of analogies and descriptive comparisons
- Many tangents and run-on sentences
- Precise adjectives and adverbs
- Proverbs and idioms in other languages
- Emotionally neutral language
- Hate small talk most of the time
Enneatype 6
Precise, careful language.
You take extra care in making sure you convey the right message and tone for each person you send a message to. Sometimes, you even add a dash of humor.
Key factors in how you communicate:
- Words that suggest uncertainty: maybe, perhaps, possibly, might
- Asking the receiver if they’re alright with a suggestion
- Carefully chosen words; proofread multiple times
- Probably re-read your messages after you send them
- Thankful comments of gratitude and appreciation
- Formal with a warm touch
- Additional questions for reassurance and accuracy
Enneatype 7
Optimistic and energetic language and expressions.
Each sentence can always use more exclamation marks and CAPITALS! Your positive energy bounces along your messages and can get others EXCITED about the FUTURE!!!
Key factors in how you communicate:
- Lots of ENERGY and exclamation marks!
- Emojis and emoticons—tons of them 😀
- “Cheers” as your go-to sign-off
- Sing-song quality of tone (and voice)
- Back-and-forth Q&A format
- Personal and fond of storytelling
Enneatype 8
Direct, clear, certain language.
You mean (strictly) business, and your messages follow that. With very close friends and family, you may even add in a smiley, once in a blue moon.
Key factors in how you communicate:
- Brief, to the point
- Informative and factual
- Pragmatic and logical perspective
- Imperatives and commands
- Clear and firm tone
- Confident and self-assured
- Can get bossy when stressed or things are going wrong
Enneatype 9
Calm tone with gentle and encouraging phrases.
With text as your preferred medium of communication, you take extra care in figuring out how to phrase your thoughts in the most neutral manner possible (to avoid potentially offending anyone).
Key factors in how you communicate:
- Absence of personal identifiers and pronouns (I, we, you, etc.)
- Emojis or GIFs to visualize emotions
- Many mentions of thankfulness and gratitude
- Respectful and thoughtful phrases
- Regular checkups on how the other person feels
- Starting all sentences with lower-cases (popular virtual trend)
The next time you receive a text message or email, think twice about how each sentence is phrased (or which emojis pop up again and again).
You may even find some secret clues that point towards your friends’ Enneagram types!
How do you communicate, based on your Enneagram type? Do you see your texts falling under more than one of the types? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
About the Author:
Lily Yuan is a personality psychology writer who has a knack for just missing the bus. She tests as INTP 5w4 and constantly questions her type. Learn more at www.lily-yuan.com or follow her on Twitter @LilyYuanWrites.
Discover More About the Enneagram:
Here’s What Really Motivates You, Based on Your Enneagram Type
Here’s What You Desperately Crave in Life, Based on Your Enneagram Type
Here’s What You Fear, Based on Your Enneagram Type
Subscribe to Our Newsletter
Want to discover more about personality type? Get the inside scoop with Susan Storm on all things typological, along with special subscriber freebies, and discounts on new eBooks and courses! Join our newsletter today!
I would love to comment on this one. I think I tend to fall between a 7 (lots of emojis) and a 9 (always checking in with those I care about after they have told me about how they feel). I also have a dash of 4 (complexity of the mind through a simple line that is virtual, and, therefore, non- existent).
sound pretty accurate. (5w6 here) and I have noticed such tendencies as well. Well done, I like it. .
Lol. I think this is just that stereotypical. Of course Sevens would be unquenchable bursts of POSITIVE ENERGY all the time!1!1 And Twos’ unapologetic helpfulness and supportiveness would gush into their text. Some points are also just strange, like Nines starting sentences with lowercase letters (Hwot?)
Granted, I am not completely certain of anyone’s types IRL other than mine, so limited comparisons are all I can make. I can, however, see parts/ideas of this article in the character of the enneatypes. Some points also express something of the enneatypes I suspect of people.
Still, I think this should just be taken with a grain of salt. People are far different from static archetype-stereotypes, being very similar to others, yet different in their individual ways. They are also often unpredictable and surprise us. More of the first point though.
And now I’m, of course, going to do a comparison between what you’ve written and myself, a Nine.
First two paragraphs, I guess so. I’m pretty careful in phrasing and choosing my words anyway, to convey the intention of what I want to say.
The bullet points are quite off for me though. Closest would be “respectful and thoughtful phrases”. Sometimes I purposely do not use pronouns. I do use the rare simple text emoticon, and show gratitude when it’s due. No, I do not do checkups on how others feel. And I start every sentence, or message for that matter, in uppercase.
On a side note, I’m a little Six-like actually, and I’m learning to be more One-like in communication.
2/4 & 6
I’m INTP 874 but I tend to text like a 6, I think, so I’m not perceived as an aggressive robot.. Unless I’m angry. In these cases it’d be better for others if I could stop texting but I can’t help it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ And honestly, quite often they have it coming.
At work I started using smileys after I was apparently too straightforward and I came out as aggressive and my manager told me something about it.. So smileys everywhere now..
The archetype for 874 is the Messenger so I guess it makes sense the messages are full of info.. I don’t know. But yeah because I’m INTP I’m not a cliché 8, and because I’m an 8, I’m not a cliché INTP. But the idea of being controlled or looking weak is definitely the one making me cringe, no question.