Here’s What Makes You Angry, Based On Your Enneagram Type
When it comes to anger, your Enneagram type can say a lot about what triggers you. Each of the enneagram types has core fears, values, and desires that propel them through life. If you inadvertently violate one of those values you might be on the receiving end of some pretty intense fury (or maybe just the silent treatment, depending on the Enneatype you’re dealing with). Today let’s explore some of the anger triggers for each of the Enneagram types.
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What Makes Each Enneagram Type Angry:
The Enneagram One – Laziness/Irresponsibility
When Ones are angry they get tense, critical, grit their teeth, clench their fists and try to repress their rising feelings of fury. One of the biggest ways to get on a One’s bad side is to not take responsibility for your actions. Out of a job because you kept showing up late? Don’t blame it on the boss! Did your boyfriend break up with you after you cheated on him? Don’t make excuses for your behavior. Do your part. Take ownership of your mistakes. Be fair and sensible – don’t push the blame on to other people or grasp at straws, trying to guard your ego against the backlash of your own life choices.
Things That Make Ones Mad:
- Wishy-washy behavior
- Feeling like they’re not getting enough accomplished
- Not getting enough time to relax
- Obsessive self-criticism
- Repressing anger for too long
- Not being appreciated for what they do for people
- Feeling like they’re never good enough
- Feeling burdened by excessive responsibility
Read This Next: 7 Struggles of the Enneagram One Type
The Enneagram Two – Selfishness/Rudeness
Caring and generous, when Twos get angry they’re more likely to be hurt and withdrawn then have a violent outburst. However, if stress increases or they are continually taken advantage of, they can flip a switch and become quite confrontational and aggressive – calling out misdeeds and righting wrongs. More than most things, Twos are angered by selfish behavior or rudeness/trolling. These types believe in serving others and making them comfortable. They are often preoccupied with other people’s feelings and needs, so the idea of being self-serving is anathema to them. They hate seeing people suffer – even observing suffering in a movie or TV show can make their heart feel like it is breaking. They also hate rudeness. People’s emotions should be handled with the utmost consideration and care, so harsh criticisms and unkind jests can spark their fury rapidly.
Things That Make Twos Mad:
- Being taken for granted
- Feeling left out
- Feeling overburdened by other people’s dependence on them
- Receiving harsh criticism
- Not getting the closeness or intimacy they need
- Becoming ill from overdoing it for others
- Going for too long without doing things they want to do
- Feeling like nobody cares to tune into their personal feelings
- Suppressing their real feelings for too long
- Tense, conflict-ridden environments
- Burnout from taking care of others
Read This Next: 7 Struggles of the Enneagram Two Type
The Enneagram Three – Lack of Ambition/Drive
When Threes get angry, they tend to push it down unless they’re in a really close relationship. These types want to appear in control, competent, and cool. If their emotions simmer over, they tend to get loud and start yelling – much to their own dismay. More than most things, they are angered by people who have a “woe is me” outlook on life and refuse to take matters into their own hands. As highly ambitious, driven individuals, they can’t understand people who mope and pout their way through life. They want people to own up to their inertia and do something about it. Simply being around people who waste time or drone on and on about meaningless subjects makes them edgy and restless.
Things That Make Threes Mad:
- Lack of ambition
- Being barged in on when they’re trying to work
- Emotionally overreactive people
- Not getting any affirmation for their hard work
- Feeling like a “loser”
- Not having financial security
- Not keeping up with their to-do lists
- Being around people who procrastinate
- Having to put up with inefficiency
- Always being “on” and not giving themselves enough time to relax
Read This Next: 7 Struggles of the Enneagram Three Type
The Enneagram Four – Being Forced to Conform
When Fours are angry, they tend to withdraw, introspect, and try to analyze their feelings. Gradually, if anger continues, they tend to succumb to tears of frustration. They may have an outburst, but it’s not especially common. This is usually followed by a period of guilt, sadness, and a sense of being totally misunderstood. As the quintessential individualists, Fours hate nothing more than being forced into a role that doesn’t fit them. They often feel misunderstood, dismissed, and looked over for more outgoing/optimistic types. Because Fours are idealists, they feel an urge to live with authentic conviction according to what they believe is right. They often feel different, uncomfortable, and melancholy. They crave relationships with people who will take the time to get to know them in an authentic, intimate way. They also crave respect and space for their own values.
Things That Make Fours Mad:
- Being told they are too sensitive
- Being dismissed
- Being forced to wear a persona for other people
- Having their values or ideals violated
- Bullying or meanness
- Being labeled
- Being misunderstood
- Having their intentions misconstrued
- Lack of affirmation
- Fear of rejection in relationships
- Burnout from long periods of dark moods
- Guilt from disappointing people
- Not living up to their own expectations
Read This Next: 7 Struggles of the Enneagram Four Type
The Enneagram Five – Lack of Autonomy
Fives express their anger through sarcasm, withdrawal, snippiness, or – if it gets untenable, yelling, or crying. These types hate feeling like their space is being invaded. People who barge into their room without getting permission are a special source of fury to them. They despise loudness or brashness – people who appear arrogant, talk over them, or seem “attention-hungry.” It’s crucial for Fives to have their physical and mental space respected. When they speak, listen (they don’t speak a lot typically). When they’re in their room, knock and wait for a response before entering.
Things That Make Fives Mad:
- Being forced to socialize a lot
- Not having a place where they can get away
- Being interrupted or “talked over”
- Bossy, controlling people
- Being micro-managed
- Being excessively criticized or judged
- Being in emotionally chaotic environments
- Losing control emotionally publicly
- Inadvertently hurting relationships that they value
- Having their views dismissed or trivialized
- Being around incompetent, unintelligent people
Read This Next: 7 Struggles of the Enneagram Five Type
The Enneagram Six – Lack of Security
There are two different kinds of Sixes – phobic and counter-phobic Sixes. Each of these types has a different response to anger. Phobic Sixes tend to withdraw and analyze their anger to see if it “makes sense.” They may vent to other people or get stuck in analysis-paralysis. Counter-phobic Sixes will be more overtly confrontational. They will likely yell, attack with facts, and seek retribution.
For Sixes, anger usually stems from a lack of security or safety. These types are always on alert for danger, so if they feel that they are at risk of any kind of threat they can become edgy and irritable. People who are undependable, wishy-washy, and unpredictable heighten their sense of insecurity. They want to be with people who say what they mean and do what they say. If they’re in relationships with people who are undependable they become infuriated because their sense of security is in peril. Anger in other people can also make them angry. When other people are over-reacting or shouting and yelling, Sixes tend to get angry in turn. They dislike volatility (although counter-phobic Sixes have a higher tolerance for it).
Things That Make Sixes Mad:
- Wishy-washy people
- Being overwhelmed by doubt and skepticism
- Having their anxieties dismissed or belittled
- Harsh criticism
- Being in relationships with people who don’t “lay their cards on the table” or are hard to read
- Feeling vulnerable
- Feeling manipulated
- Unexpected change
- Pretentious people
- Fear of abandonment or rejection
- Exhausting themselves from worrying too much
- Burning out from excessive self-criticism
Read This Next: 7 Struggles of the Enneagram Six Type
The Enneagram Seven – Feeling Trapped
Sevens tend to express their anger directly and quickly. They blurt it out and then move on to other more interesting things typically. They might yell, debate, cry, or kick inanimate objects as a way of coping. That said, they don’t tend to dwell on their anger – that would be too dull.
As far as what angers Sevens, they are most infuriated by the sense that they are losing their freedom. They hate feeling controlled, micro-managed, or pressured. These types crave freedom more than almost anything. They want to feel like the world is vast and limitless and potential is never-ending. Having their possibilities picked apart or taken away gives them a sense of fury like nothing else.
Things That Makes Sevens Mad:
- Being controlled or micro-managed
- Not having personal space
- Lack of companionship
- Lack of freedom
- Clingy or needy people
- Overly-negative people
- Not having enough time to do things they want
- Leaving too many projects half-finished
- Feeling confined in a relationship
- Having to focus extensively on nitty-gritty details
Read This Next: 7 Struggles of the Enneagram Seven Type
The Enneagram Eight – Injustice
When Eights get angry, they’re likely to express it directly. These types are not afraid of confrontation, and they typically have no problem raising their voices – especially in defense of others.
Eights are most angered by injustice or oppression. They despise people who oppress underdogs or manipulate others for their own means. They will go to any lengths to protect the ones they love and welcome the opportunity to fight for what is right. Sparring with others is an exciting exercise for Eights because it gives them the chance to release a lot of their pent up aggression and energy and stand up for what they think is right.
Things That Make Eights Mad:
- Having their trust betrayed
- Weakness in themselves or others
- Overly-sensitive people
- Not getting personal space
- A life lacking in excitement or stimulation
- Feeling used
- Being surrounded by incompetence
- Sticking out their neck for people and getting no acknowledgment for it
- Burnout from putting too much pressure on themselves
- Being controlled or micro-managed
- Being talked down to
Read This Next: Seven Struggles of the Enneagram Eight Type
The Enneagram Nine – Being Dismissed
When Nines get angry, they tend to repress it rather than directly reveal it. They’re more likely to grit their teeth and clench their fists than yell or curse. However, if repression lasts for too long they can suddenly blow up unexpectedly. Afterwards, they usually feel insecure and remorseful.
Nines tend to be easy-going, empathetic, and supportive, hence their title of “Peacemaker.” That said, Nines can burn out of putting their own wishes aside for others. Because they are so tolerant and laid-back, people can talk over them or fail to take them seriously. They can also be taken for granted by people who see their easy-going, nurturing presence as something to use rather than something to appreciate. Over time, the invisibility that Nines feel in situations like these becomes too much and they explode in surprising ways.
Things That Make Nines Mad:
- Feeling ignored or unimportant
- Feeling misunderstood because of their calm, easy-going nature
- Harsh criticism
- Being taken advantage of
- Not being listened to or taken seriously
- Feeling guilt over lacking initiative (when unhealthy)
- Being rushed
- Lack of acknowledgment or affirmation
- Pressure or pushy people
- Feeling controlled or micro-managed
- Feeling judged
- Emotionally chaotic environments
Read This Next: How Enneagram Nines Handle Anger
What Are Your Thoughts?
Did you enjoy this article? Do you have any insights or experiences to share? Let us know in the comments!
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Personality Types – Using the Enneagram for Self-Discovery by Don Richard Riso with Russ hudson
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