In the diverse world we live in, it can be easy to think that some personality types are caring and some types are not. Feeling types might think that only Feeling types really care about others. After all, thinkers are referred to as being so “detached” or “tactless.” Stereotypes play into the idea that certain types are caring and supportive and other types are not. In type communities online, people debate the personality types of fictional characters, easily casting the villains as thinking types and the do-gooders as feeling types.
But really….everyone cares. All 16 personality types have unique ways that they show concern and support for other people – it’s just going to look different for each individual. It becomes dangerous to assume that only certain types are caring and kind because they have an “F” in their type code. Just as a Thinking preference doesn’t make one automatically intelligent, a Feeling preference doesn’t make one automatically kind.
So with that said, today we’re going to look at how each of the 16 personality types shows they care! I hope you enjoy this.
Table of contents
Estimated reading time: 15 minutes
ENFPs show you they care by inspiring you with new ideas and helping you to see possibilities you’d never dreamed of before. They want to make your world seem brighter and full of potential. When you’re having a bad day they want to show you windows of opportunity and new ways of looking at a situation.
At the same time, ENFPs want to give you space to be your authentic self. While some types have a whole list of “should’s” when it comes to social behaviors, ENFPs are more concerned with getting the real you than the curated and appropriate version of you. They’re good at holding space for the people they care about and creating opportunities for them to show their true colors. If they really care, they’ll have your back no matter what and forgive lapses in tact or judgment because they know nobody is perfect all the time.
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ENTPs show you they care by enlightening you with possibilities, ideas, and opportunities. They don’t mind stepping into a chaotic situation that might scare other people away and helping you find options and alternatives. Because they hate feeling trapped, they don’t want you to feel trapped and they’ll find ways to give you a sense of freedom in your life.
At the same time, ENTPs show they care by being honest and real with you. They’ll tell you the truth, even if it means you could have a negative feeling about them because of it. They can’t stand the idea of being phony with the person they love. So they’ll let you be brutally honest with them and they’ll be radically honest with you. It’s crucial to them that their friends and partners feel safe in being honest and being truthful, and they’ll create a space where honesty is highly regarded and protected. They’ll also analyze you to a very precise degree, learning all your little quirks, likes, and dislikes, so that they can figure you out. Sometimes Feeling-preference types (people with an “F” in their type code) observe ENTPs as being detached and analyzing them in a way that’s uncomfortable. The analysis isn’t as “warm” or “romantic” feeling as words of affirmation, a gift of dozens of roses, and so on. But for the ENTP, analyzing someone and learning all of their in’s and outs’ and what makes them tick is a sign of care and it’s a way they show genuine concern and support.
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INFPs show they care by creating a safe space for you to honestly express yourself and your deepest feelings. They won’t force you to play by any social rules about verbal appropriateness, instead they’ll create an atmosphere where authenticity is valued. Patience as you explore your feelings, thoughts, and experiences is something they offer the people they genuinely care about. And when you’re struggling they’ll give you space to work through your feelings and they will try not to smother or overwhelm you. They know sometimes the best medicine for pain is a quiet, safe space where nobody is going to bother you.
At the same time, INFPs want to spark your imagination with new possibilities and ideas. When you’re feeling stuck or trapped, they’ll offer you options and ideas to revive you. Like cold water on a hot day, they’ll restore you with possibilities and creative ways to embrace your true self and find meaning. They may also make you creative or sentimental gifts to show they care.
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The INTP shows they care by learning about you and attempting to piece together what makes you who you are. Deeply analytical, they see everyone as a puzzle and enjoy finding all the disparate pieces and bringing them together to get the whole picture. If they care about you they’ll listen and create space as you share your truth with them. The better they understand you, warts and all, the more they can meet your needs on a precision level. They won’t expect perfection from you, and they’ll be the friend that’s left standing when you say the wrong thing, make a social faux pas, or reveal an uncomfortable vulnerability. While they might not have the perfect comforting words all the time, their loyalty is a powerful balm.
Along with this, INTPs will help you troubleshoot problems that have you stumped. They have a patience with problems that many other types don’t. When you feel puzzled by a curveball life has thrown your way, they can analyze the situation with you to see if there are any solutions or leverage points you could take advantage of.
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ENFJs show they care in ways that are more traditionally acceptable and recognizable as “warm” or “supportive.” They will offer emotional validation, support, and concern. Creating a harmonious relationship and giving you space to express yourself freely is important to them. They also pay attention to your needs, especially the emotional ones, and will try to meet them before you even have to ask. For the ENFJ, helping is a way they show love and concern. But they don’t like to wait to be asked for help, they often anticipate a need and then try to meet it before the need is even verbalized.
Along with this, ENFJs enjoy sharing insights and revelations with the people they care about. They are deep thinkers and often have a profound understanding of people’s situations. Because of this, they enjoy sharing ideas and insights that might prove useful or inspiring for the other person. They want to catalyze people to reach their potential, and so if they care about you, they’ll find ways to do that.
ENTJs show they care by handling tasks and projects that will make your life easier. They’re not afraid to do “dirty work” for the people they love, whether that means organizing taxes or coming up with a solution to a problem that seems to have no way out. ENTJs wants to simplify your life if they care about you, but they also don’t want you to waste your potential. They’ll help you with challenges and troubleshoot problems for you, but they will also challenge you to step up and achieve goals that your strengths are naturally suited for. Many ENTJs thrive when they can help people become successes; but they won’t do it by saying a bunch of nice words. They’ll challenge you, sometimes very brusquely, to step up to the plate and make your goals a reality.
Another way that ENTJs show they care is by giving you insights into situations and events. They are deeply intuitive and have a knack for future forecasting. They enjoy creating strategies for people and mapping out plans and solutions. If a situation has you stumped, they’ll enjoy taking apart the situation and looking for possibilities, approaches, and new insights.
INFJs show they care by going into the depths of what matters to you as a person. They have a knack for tuning into the essence of another person and helping them see their positive attributes and strengths. As visionary types they often encourage the people they love to become their best selves; to grow, develop, and reach for greater heights of possibility. They enjoy sharing insights, inspiring, and catalyzing individuals towards growth and potential.
Another way that INFJs show they care is by offering empathy and emotional support. They notice emotional needs that are going unmet and aim to meet those needs. Offering a warm smile, a listening ear, or a gentle touch are all ways that INFJs create an atmosphere of openness, warmth, and safety.
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INTJs show people they care by actively listening to them and trying to find insights, strategies, and solutions that will benefit them in the long-run. For the INTJ, words only matter if they reveal something useful or profound. Thus, they tend to speak very little unless what they’re saying sparks the imagination, or reveals a useful insight for the future.
Another way that INTJs show they care is by helping out in practical ways. They notice what people need or the struggles they’re facing, so they often work in the background to circumvent those struggles or simplify life for their loved ones. This could mean shoveling the snow for a parent, creating a business strategy for a sibling, or doing an unpleasant chore that a spouse hates. Giving of their time and energy is something they only do for people they care about because they’re naturally very aware of time and hesitant to use it for anything that isn’t vitally important to them. They will support you and be loyal, encouraging your successes and acknowledging your capabilities. They’ll take time to learn about you and how you work so that they can meet your needs more effectively.
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ESFPs show you they care by inviting you into their experience of life. They want to show people all the beautiful moments that are worth relishing; from golden sunsets to concerts with resounding music. It isn’t enough to just say they care, they want to show you by curating beautiful moments when the opportunities arise.
Another way that ESFPs show they care is by creating a safe space for loved ones to express themselves without judgment. If they care, they’ll believe the best of you even when you’re having a rough day and aren’t at your best. They can exhibit profound patience for the people they love because they know each person has a kaleidoscope of different emotions and feelings that need to be felt and often expressed to be understood. In short, developed ESFPs will allow you to be your true self in their presence, messy as it may be, without judgment (unless you’re offending a deeply-held value in the process).
ESTPs show they care by being there through the sorrows and celebrations of life. They want to share in your experiences and provide steady support in the good and bad times. This sense of camaraderie is especially important to them. They want you to know that they’ve got your back and that they’ll show you a way to laugh and be brave no matter how daunting a moment in life may be.
ESTPs also show they care by being radically honest with the people they love. They want to be able to put their cards on the table and express how they feel, even if it’s messy. They may not always communicate in the most appropriate way, but at least you know where you stand with them and that they’re not sugar-coating things just to spare your feelings. On top of that, they’ll try to meet your needs as precisely as possible. If they care about you, they’ve studied you, and they care about knowing how you work and what makes you deeply happy.
ISFPs show they care by holding space for the people they love. There’s a quiet gentleness that they exude that allows people to work out their thoughts and feelings and navigate tough emotional terrain. At their best, ISFPs create a safe atmosphere for emotional expression and encourage people to be their authentic selves. Getting to the heart of who someone is comes naturally to developed ISFPs, and they take time to listen to the people they love without rushing them or getting distracted with their own comebacks.
Another way that ISFPs show they care is by creating inviting experiences for their loved ones. Whether they’re sharing photos of a beautiful sunset, preparing freshly baked cookies, or inviting someone to a concert, they want to help people experience the raw, real beauty that life has to offer.
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For the ISTP, solving problems is how they show they care. They want to do something real and tangible for someone, not just offer words or affectionate gestures (although they may do this also). While sitting down and talking out their emotions can feel overwhelming, they enjoy sharing their uncensored thoughts. If they care about you, they’ll be real with you even if it means you may have negative feelings about what they say. They give radical honesty to their loved ones and want to receive that same honesty in return. If you can be authentic with them, they’ll accept you for who you are, quirks and all. But they have no patience for facades and phony, self-righteous behavior.
Another way that ISTPs show they care is by curating good experiences to share with you. These types love living in the moment and having fun, so whether they’re taking you for a motorcycle ride or cooking you breakfast in bed, they enjoy making the moment as fun and immersive as possible.
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ESFJs want to create a feeling of closeness and warmth with their loved ones. They want you to feel like “one of the family” and are likely to say things like “my house is your house” when you come to visit. Going the extra mile, taking care of needs before they are verbalized, and providing emotional support are all ways that they care for others. They may avoid troubling or intense topics of conversation because they don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable or put on the spot.
ESFJs also try to check in with their loved ones regularly to make sure they’re doing okay. They are the types who will text you good morning or ask you how someone in your family is doing if you told them they were struggling with something. Tracking their loved ones and assessing their emotional states is something they do naturally. It’s important to them that you feel heard, prioritized, and regularly valued.
ESTJs show they care by being loyal regardless of what life hurls someone’s way. These are not fickle individuals and they are rarely fair-weather friends. They’ll be there for you when you’re having a good day and when your car breaks down on the side of the road. For ESTJs, meaningful relationships are focused on commitment and responsibility. They take care of what needs to be taken care of and will work tirelessly for the people they love.
ESTJs also show they care by challenging their loved ones to live up to their responsibilities and commitments. They don’t go easy on their loved ones just because they want to avoid a conflict. Part of their method of loving people is encouraging them to be honest, reliable, and logical. If someone they love is complaining about life but not doing anything to fix their situation, the ESTJ will challenge them to overcome the obstacle rather than dwell on it repeatedly.
ISFJs show they care by creating stability and comfort for their loved ones. Making life calmer and attending to the little details that make it beautiful are activities they excel at. Whether they’re shoveling snow for a loved one or bringing a hot meal to someone who is sick, they think about the practical things that would make life easier.
ISFJs also show support by providing emotional support and affirmation. They want to create a sense of belonging, safety, and warmth in order to make people feel comfortable and accepted. Often they will focus on their loved ones’ positive qualities and point them out in order to encourage then. When their friends are feeling down, they’ll remind them of times in the past that they overcame obstacles or triumphed over adversity.
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ISTJs show that they care by taking up responsibilities and giving of their time and knowledge to help others. They feel very conscious of their responsibilities towards others and have a sense of duty around organizing tasks, keeping things safe, and making sure that no detail is overlooked.
ISTJs also show they care by problem-solving for people. If someone is having a problem, the ISTJ will want to map out effective solutions for them. Their helpful nature means that they can quickly assess how to deal with an issue, especially if it’s one that has come up for them before. They have a calm, steady assurance about them that provides strength to their loved ones in hard times.
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What Are Your Thoughts?
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Find out more about your personality type in our eBooks, Discovering You: Unlocking the Power of Personality Type, The INFJ – Understanding the Mystic, The INTJ – Understanding the Strategist, and The INFP – Understanding the Dreamer. You can also connect with me via Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter!