How to Tell if Someone Likes You, Based On Their Myers-Briggs® Personality Type
Ever wondered what each personality type does when they like someone? Today let’s explore the tactics and strategies that each personality type uses when they have a crush on someone!
Keep in mind, each individual is totally unique and this will only touch on the most common responses from the types (your experience might be different!)
Feel that warm glow inside? That’s the sensation you’ll get when an ENFP has a crush on you. They’ll ask you dozens of questions about your perspective on anything from ice cream flavors to animal rights. They want to get to know you on a level of depth that other personality types may only briefly touch on. They’ll charm you with their curiosity – getting to know you and even encouraging you to know yourself on a deeper level. They’ll also tease, playfully make fun of you, and invite you on all their excursions. Normally unpredictable with texting, they’ll get back to you more quickly and make a lot of direct eye contact when you’re speaking (unless they’re especially shy). Essentially, they want to know you inside and out and scope out whether your sense of adventure will match up with their own. If you seem overly traditional or closed-minded they’ll nix the crush before they have a chance to get disappointed.
If intellectual sparring is your idea of foreplay, then get ready for some rapier wit and flirtatious debate. When an ENTP has a crush on you they’ll zero their attention on you alone. They’ll ask you questions, challenge your assumptions, and tease you or troll you (but in a friendly way). Typically unpredictable, they’ll try especially hard to show up on time to anything you’re involved in, and they’ll try to keep the banter going as long as possible. They’ll create inside jokes with you or sequester you to a quiet place where they can get to know you away from the noise and interruptions of other people. Their energy will be alive and restless – excitement and nerves likely giving away their interest in you.
See that dreamy-eyed person in the corner gazing at you and turning away when you make eye contact? That may be the INFP with a crush on you. These types aren’t as overt in their flirting as others, often showing indirectly that they care about you. They’ll listen to you intently, laugh at your jokes, and zero in on who you are as an individual. They’ll pay attention to what makes you different from other people – suggesting songs you might love, mentioning minor details that you didn’t realize they noticed about you, and sending lots of enthusiastic emojis in their text messages. They’ll slowly invite you into their imaginative world, showing you their creative projects and letting you listen to their favorite songs (even if it embarrasses them). Normally private and somewhat guarded about their inner selves, they’ll take the risk and see what you think of the inner self they typically hide.
Normally reserved and private, INTPs will seem warmer and more responsive when they have a crush on you. They’ll smile at you (shyly probably), respond to your text messages, and find excuses to be near you (even if it’s just to ask if they can borrow a pencil). They might go out on a limb and ask questions to try to get to know you better. If they have a crush on you, chances are they’re intrigued by your mind. They’ll want to know your perspectives, thoughts, and opinions. If there’s anything thought-provoking that you have to bring to the table, you’ll light up their curiosity and interest immediately. They might like your social media statuses frequently or reach out to you in email just to talk. What may seem like normal social behaviors can actually mean a great deal from an INTP, because they tend to be more aloof and reserved than most types.
When an ENFJ likes you, they’ll become extremely responsive and engaged. They’ll laugh, smile, hug you, and exude an animated, lively energy. It’s nearly impossible not to feel giddy and energized in their presence when they like you. They’ll hang on to every word you say, and make a lot of direct eye contact – doing whatever they can to show you that you are important to them. More than that, they’ll ask you thought-provoking questions to get to know you more deeply. You’ll find yourself spilling out your life story and sharing details about your childhood that you’ve never told anyone before. The experience can seem invigorating and even uncanny at times because they have such a knack for getting people to open up and pour out the contents of their hearts. In return, they’ll be highly empathetic, understanding, and emotionally responsive – making sure you know that your stories are safe in their hands.
ENTJs hate wasting time, so chances are, if they like you, you’ll know it. They’ll ask you questions, make a lot of direct eye contact, and try to find out what makes you tick. Your life and goals will become fascinating to them – they’ll want to know what your hopes and dreams are as a way to find out whether you make sense for them to pursue further. Making sure your future lines up with theirs is crucial to them – they don’t want to waste time on a relationship that won’t amount to anything long-term. They will be intentional and direct about spending time with you and won’t beat around the bush or “play games” to try to get your attention.
Deeply caring but often shy, INFJs can be a little mysterious to decode when they have a crush on you. On one hand, they’ll try to be more open and outgoing around you – trying to find ways to connect with you emotionally. On the other hand, they can also feel awkward putting themselves out there and may deliberate over responding to texts or clam-up when it’s time to talk. For the most part, when they have a crush, INFJs will want to show you they care through actions and words. They’ll ask you questions about yourself, respond empathetically to your troubles, and try to help if a practical concern comes your way (like you need help with homework or you’re sick and need a hot meal). They’ll playfully give you a hug or try to touch you, but may struggle with self-consciousness here, only to pull-back nervously if it doesn’t come off as natural as they would like. Overall, they’ll linger near you, pay attention to you, and make time for you in a way that defies their naturally introverted tendencies.
If you like a good challenge, then try to figure out whether or not an INTJ likes you! Reserved and introspective, these types are unlikely to flirt and flaunt when they like you. In fact, many INTJs become more argumentative and critical when they like someone. They want to be their real selves – not hiding behind a veil of tact and propriety. Other INTJs will simply try to find ways to spend more time around you; whether that means going to a social event they’d normally avoid or going to your desk to ask you for a stapler. More confident INTJs will come right out and tell you they like you to avoid wasting time. It can take a long time for INTJs to be sure about their feelings, however, and they can move very slowly from having a crush to actually admitting their feelings.
Read This Next: The Flirting Style of the INTJ Personality Type
Banter, banter, banter. ESFPs with a crush will laugh at your jokes, stun you with their charm, and engage you with friendly teasing, coy smiles, and rapidly created inside jokes. They’ll find ways to touch you and get close to you, preferring your company to that of their other friends. Playful and energetic, they will reach out to you through texts and ask questions to get to know you better. Since they have a strong sense of adventure, chances are, they’ll find a way to invite you to an exciting new experience – whether that means trying out the newest restaurant in town or going on a spontaneous road-trip.
Charming and good-humored, ESTPs aren’t typically mysterious when they have a crush. They’ll wink at you, touch you, and find ways to make you laugh. High-energy and adventurous, they’ll find ways to blow your mind with exciting new experiences. They might take you skydiving, challenge you to a game of truth or dare, or dance with you in the rain. They also like to show off or get your attention by liking your social media posts and getting as close to you as they can without overwhelming you. ESTPs are also one of the types most likely to just tell you they like you – these types see no point in beating around the bush.
These types can fluctuate from being shy and distant to flirtatious and coy when they like you. Many ISFPs admit to feeling awkward and uncertain when they first develop a crush. They simultaneously want to be around you all the time while also wanting to hide away in the nearest closet. Time is needed for them to sort through their feelings and be certain that the crush is something more than a fleeting attraction. When they do settle on their feelings, they’ll show it by spending more time than usual around you and touching you in playful ways. You’ll also notice that they remember all the little details about you that you had no idea anyone cared about. Typically very protective of their alone time and space, they’ll make space for you in their lives – inviting you to their house or showing you their most prized possessions.
Ever tried to find your glasses in the middle of the night after they’ve fallen on the floor? If you enjoy that process, then you’ll love trying to figure out if an ISTP likes you! These types aren’t typically flirtatious, playful, or touchy-feely when they like someone. Sure, they may want to be – but they don’t exactly feel comfortable instigating it in the early stages. If they like you then chances are the signs will be very subtle. They’ll look at you more and show up to events where you’ll be. Typically reserved, if they like you they’ll go out of their way to start a conversation with you – at least once. When they finally get tired of waiting they’ll just go out on a limb and tell you they like you.
Details, details, details. If an ESFJ likes you they’ll notice every detail that makes you smile. The intricacies of how you like your coffee and the way you cover your stomach with a pillow when you sit on a couch. These types show that they like you by taking an interest in all the nuances of your life. They’ll try to help out in tangible ways – bringing you a hot meal when you’re sick or offering to help you host a challenging event. They’re probably telling their friends that they like you, too. This will result in knowing glances between them and their friends whenever you’re in their presence. They’ll also initiate conversations, playfully touch you, and find ways to make you laugh.
Not ones to waste time with game-playing, ESTJs will let you know they like you by flat-out telling you in many cases. Otherwise, they’ll make their interest known by showing up whenever you’re around, making you laugh, or doing whatever they can to make your life easier. ESTJs who have a crush want to find a way to help you in a tangible sense. Sometimes that means shoveling your snow and often it means opening the door for you, helping you get your jacket off, or showing other small courtesies that can make you feel special. They’ll pay attention to the things you like and try to infuse your life with more of those things.
ISFJs are the ones who will deep-dive into every detail that brings you to life. They’ll ask you questions about your likes and dislikes, show up with your favorite snacks, and find small ways to show you they’ve been paying attention to what brings you joy. Sometimes shy, ISFJs may blush or avert their eyes and giggle when you compliment them. They’re also likely to show up to events you’re going to – even events they’d normally avoid. They’ll find ways to playfully touch you and they’ll go beyond the norm to help you in any way they can. They’re also likely to share personal details about their life that they’d normally keep more private. ISFJs crave a great deal of transparency and emotional connection in their relationships, so they’ll try to find ways to instigate conversation and solidarity with you.
Read This Next: The Flirting Style of the ISFJ Personality Type
Reserved and private, ISTJs will try to break out of their shell more if they like you. They’ll go out of their way to be around you, text you, or stand closer to you. They’ll remember details about your likes and dislikes and try to use that information to brighten your day. More than that, they’ll look for ways they can make your life easier. They’ll change the oil in your car, help you find the perfect solution to a problem you’ve been facing, or simply open the door for you. They’re unlikely to flirt unless they are certain you like them too. Just remember that these types tend to move slowly into relationships – they need to be sure they can trust you (and their own feelings) before they make the first move.
Read This Next: The Flirting Style of the ISTJ Personality Type
What Are Your Thoughts?
Do you have any experiences or insights to share? Let us know in the comments!
Find out more about your personality type in our eBooks, Discovering You: Unlocking the Power of Personality Type, The INFJ – Understanding the Mystic, and The INFP – Understanding the Dreamer. You can also connect with me via Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter!